It Is Cancer: Why Be Silent and Suffer?

What can I say? Being told I have cancer was a shock, but breast cancer was a kicker. All my live, I have complained about having breasts; the fact they got in my way when riding my horses or when I wanted to beat my brothers in a shooting or archery competition. But to have heard one of the specialists say, "You have confirmed breast cancer, we were lucky we found it by a mistake" (great find, I guess)... that was when my world changed.

To start at the beginning. I went to the local GP for a repeat prescription. While there, I mentioned that I was having a little bruised feeling above my right breast, which came and went during work but nothing that really was an issue. The GP had a look and said she thought it was nothing more than a cyst— best to get it checked out. So off I toddled without a second thought. The next day I received a call asking me to visit my local hospital, to have a couple of checks done. Unbeknown-st to me at the time, this was a six-hour exercise. Anyway— off I went and did all the required checks. They found something in my right breast in a completely different area and took the needed biopsies. I do not know how much you know about the checks that are done, but this was my first introduction to a mammogram and all I can say is they resembles Middle ages torture devices! I am quite a tall person, and to have to lean in a machine and have your chest squeezed to get a good picture, not only feels like my chest was being ripped off, but also a very cold experience. I was told this was the newest machine!

A week goes by, and I go back for my results, and this is where my bubble of never being ill finally bursted. I did have cancer— and due to the size, it was categorized as being stage two. From this point on, not much was taken in-bar— I had cancer and it was in my breast. God, how much I hated being a girl at that moment!

Having got home and absorbed the news, I then told the family. I have two boys and both of them were, and still are, very relaxed about it. After all, it's mum and she will be fine. My parents were a lot more concerned obviously and wanted to talk about my options. This was simple. Do what ever has to be done to get this out of me.

Then, work and friends had to be told. This was where I started to see how people reacted to such a thing. All were sympathetic and concerned, what I did notice was the sudden distancing from some people (like, do not come near me, I might catch it) or the automatic look at my chest, like there would be some thing new sitting there. Then, I went live on Facebook and told the world, seems that social media does have its uses, telling everyone at once was a lot easier than drawing out the subject!

Now at this point, you may think this is a tad drastic or even boarder line exhibitionist, however I do not share that perspective. Why go so public? Well the truth is, by going public and sharing my experience, people will get to see that it's not so scary. Yes, it's horrible, but no, you can not catch it (it's not leprosy or the flu). There are many people who sit in silence and struggle with things in life. By openly sharing what I am going through, it gives some people a way to see that things can get better and that there is someone out there going through the same thing and that they are not alone. I have learnt over the years that a positive mind and keeping positive people around you help you get through your worst days. By going on Facebook Live I have given some people a chance to open up to me, and not hide away or feel ugly for having cancer. For better or worse, it has given me the added strength to fit this and get over it. Also, I have met some great people who would otherwise have suffered in silence.

I guess the point of this story is that it's only the beginning of a long fight, but one that I share with millions of other people. Some are not as strong I was and may be unable to share their feelings. However, most, if not all, of us feel unsure about what will happen next. Treat us no differently than you did yesterday. What does the future hold for me? I will continue to share my thoughts and steps in the hopes that it encourages people to not be scared of the word "Cancer." It is a fight that 99 percent of us can win— and is worth winning.