I Don't Have A Flat Tummy, Sometimes.

Let's start with the reasons why I am complaining, and I know many won't like it before I have even started.

However, I stand with other men and women who are in the same boat as me.

Everywhere I look, I see images of completely toned women and men. Sometimes, I will see a man or woman who has curves like myself, but still; it's very rare.

You are probably asking me, "Why does this bug me?"

It bugs me because it sends a message that women and men like me are not normal unless we can strip or wear clothes that are tight and show off a bit of skin.

I never had a completely flat stomach way before I had children, and I did quite a bit of exercise, walking, dancing, aerobics, swimming, and strength training.

I saw the doctor because I was worried about why I could not gain a flat stomach. It was pushed in my face all of the time, and I was called names such as fat, podgy, stocky, and even obese-even though it was proven that I was the right weight for my age.

I'm not overweight: Some of it is my natural build, other problems are due to the impact that having multiple children had on my body which were two C-sections, one that was traumatic because my pelvis fractured during pregnancy, which caused me a lot of problems, including some lose muscle that will never repair itself, no matter how much I exercise.

Here is another fact:

Not everybody in my family is of slim build. There are people in my family who are heavy-boned, and also well-rounded; they are not fat; their build is natural.

Let's point out another fact;

I am bi-sexual, but I am not attracted to every slim woman in the world. I am accepting of the fact that we all come in different shapes and sizes.

I base my choices on personality rather than looks, and being attractive can be based on many things; not just looks or body type.

Here is another problem.

I suffer from body dysmorphia.

Can you imagine how it must feel when I look in the mirror, only to find that I look bigger in everything I wear when people are judging me and commenting on my weight all of the time?

And this one:

Nasty comments about my weight risk sending me back into Bulimia and Anorexia again, because they hurt, and have a deep psychological effect on how I see myself.

As I said before, I'm not overweight.

However, I can go both ways.

I have days when I feel overweight, and on those days I hate everything about me. I will pick on every single flaw, even those that people say are not there. On the other hand, I also have days when I feel too thin, yet at the same time, I can become obsessed with staying healthy,

and on those days, eating just a salad can be a problem. I also have days when I love how my face and hair look then I have days where I hate it to the point of revolting against everything about myself.

My worst days are when I turn on the computer and there isn't one image of a man or woman built like me.

The media, tend to focus on being slim, even though we are supposed to live in a diverse world.

This does not just make it harder for me to cope with my disorder, but it makes it harder for myself and others to feel comfortable with their looks and weight, even if they are not overweight.

We need more acceptance of people in this world, especially as the internet is becoming the new social life for many.