How Do We Cope With Worry

If it can be solved, theres no need to worry, and if it can’t be solved, worry is of no use.” ~ 
Dalai Lama XIV



We are all in various states of ‘worry’ at the moment. 
Longman’s Dictionary defines worry as “unhappy because you keep thinking about a problem or about something bad that might happen”. I think this is just about spot-on. We are thinking about Covid-19 all the time and that something bad is going to happen to us, to our loved ones, and to the community we live, even the world.


This is what worrying does, especially in the wee small hours when our worries seem magnified x 100, it leads us to think thoughts that in the daylight hours seem ridiculous even to ourselves. The worry has not gone away though.


I suffer with anxiety, something that stems from my MS and living my life in a wheelchair. It can be triggered by any small thing. At first when we all went into lockdown I thought it was not too bad, I could cope, even though we knew it would probably be long.
But as the time has gone on, and we enter the fourth week, I am worried. I’m worried for myself, my husband, my children and grandchildren, for my elderly mother - the list goes on.


The death toll in the UK is now higher than it was in Italy at the peak of the virus. Everybody’s personal story is heartbreaking. I live in a town where everyone knows someone who’s died or who is ill with the virus.


The quote above from the Dalai Lama is what made me think about this. I just happened to read it somewhere and it stopped me in my tracks. I thought about what it meant and realised that it goes to the heart of the concept of ‘worry’. It sums it up perfectly.
I don’t think there can be anyone in this world that doesn’t worry. But what counts is how you deal with it.

So, if you have a problem that needs solving, lying awake at night is certainly not going to provide the solution.
But sitting down in the daytime and thinking rationally about it might. You can make a list of pros and cons or whatever is relevant. Writing is one of the most helpful things. Or perhaps you can talk to someone else about your problem, that can be a great help in rationalising it.


Whatever you do, it sure as hell beats lying awake all night twisting your thoughts into knots.
And as in the quote above if it’s something that can’t be solved like Covid-19, then worrying about it is not of any use anyway.


For those of you who, like me, are chronically ill, or in a wheelchair, worry is a constant companion. And it’s even less useful. We can’t change our situations, at least not short term, and some of us not at all. And certainly not in the present situation.
So, it’s important to try and knock worrying on the head.

Drinking chamomile tea at night can help to calm the mind. If you have trouble sleeping listen to a very boring audiobook. I have ‘The Brothers Karamazov’ by Fydor Dostoyevsky on my phone. I can guarantee sleep comes very quickly!


Here’s a summary of my ways to help with worrying:


• if you want to solve a problem, face it in the daytime

• write down anything that you want to get out of your head

• make a positive or negative list for a problem

• if possible, talk to someone

• Drink chamomile tea at bedtime to calm your mind

• listen to ambient music or Tibetan prayer bells

• listen to a boring audiobook!


Worrying is a natural part of life. The problems come when it begins to take over and cause anxiety. I have experienced this many times so I have developed these strategies over the years. They may help anyone who is stricken with worry in these strange times or at anytime.


Stay safe and keep well.




First published on bellesdays.com on 16/04/2020