Following My Intuition and a New Way of Being

I picture the moon because I seem to be up more often at night. Maybe I'm turning nocturnal, who knows?

I think things like that when I am in a certain state, probably when I am in the theta brain state. And the theta state is dreamy and usually only happens in my semi-waking state at night.

I half believe these things, too.

At the very least, I keep a very open mind about these kinds of "mystical" things.

I could also be "crazy", but how would that help me if I were to believe it? It would be a bit depressing, and not much more. It wouldn't affect my life and how I do things.

Because I can only do what I have the resources for, or the skills, or the ability.

I live by my intuition these days.

These strange days we are living in.

I know you feel it too.

Maybe not as strongly as I do, but maybe it's the same way for you too.

People are saying how strange the past few years have been, mostly since the pandemic.

The REAL strangeness started for me in 2021, when I discovered that the reality around me was changing and people called it the Mandela Effect.

It was very devastating for me at first. For a couple of years at least. I've only just recently begun to come to a sort of way to deal with my emotional state about it, and my cognitive dissonance associated with having my basic reality change continuously.

While I've come to in some way accept my new reality that is amorphous, I still harbor a strong desire for things to go back to the way they were. I think this is a natural reaction to the situation.

Who wants reality to be changeable, based on an unknown factor? Not me, I assure you.

So I've come to slowly adapt to a new way of life, with a new way of being.

One big change is that I don't really make goals anymore. It's kind of pointless when cause and effect seems to be out the window. If tomorrow can be anything, with no way of knowing what could be the next change, it's silly for me to make goals of any kind, except for short-term goals.

There is still the necessary goal-seeking desire that is in every human being, and I know I have to answer that desire somehow. So I make small goals to get my energetic fix like other people do.

Instead of goals, I learn skills. Those will be harder to change, even if my memory changes. And it's satisfying to learn new things.

For now, it's drawing and a keto diet. Lter, I want to learn how to drive, something I never thought I would ever do.

But driving seems more appealing to me lately, ad I like to follow my intuition wherever it leads me.

Like coming back to writing, which I had mostly given up on. I've been pulled back, or lured back in for some reason.

I never really know the reason.

Whoever is running the show probably knows.

Maybe it's my "higher self" or some such things. I'm sure I'm a part of it, in whatever way that happens to be.

As for the nocturnal tendancies, I'm going with that too. I've tried and trd to get back on a normal sleep-wake cycle and schedule, but it's been worsening over the past months.

I sometimes go days being up at night and sleeping on and off during the day.

Nights are more peaceful, I've come to see. And more "dreamy", as I seem to be in the theta state a lot of the time at night. It was worrysome at first, now it's just somewhat peaceful and pleasant.

It feels natural.