Disregard

There seems to be a disregard for how others treat someone

Being in someone else’s home used to mean you had a certain level of mindfulness and gratitude at least some respect for the fact you were a visitor

Now that doesn’t appear to happen. I’m not saying it’s a generational thing I have known people who stay here who are truly grateful and mindful of how they are, they have the ability to know that the way they treat others is the way they themselves wish to be treated

Then there are the others that have no respect even for the walls or doors themselves they leave all their trash and rubbish in the room they stay in they just expect that the room and bed will be available and they invite themselves, they have no regard for the amount of noise they make. The amount of hot water they use or the mess left in the bathroom. They don’t care.

These I call the nightmare guests they keep returning.

These are the ones that don’t even say thank you or I appreciate the being allowed to stay.

Then there are the ones that are a bit of both it really depends on the mood they are in whether the world is pissing them off or whose upset their day etc.

This affects very sensitive people in ways most others can’t or don’t want to comprehend.

You see their home is their sanctuary, their safe haven, it is the place where they get to relax and feel like they can breathe.

Okay so why you might ask do you allow the ones in that aren’t mindful or respectful, sometimes you have no say, if you’re sharing a house or if they are close family and highly sensitive or anxious people can’t speak out its so hard for them to approach any subject that may potentially cause upset or conflict.

When your nervous system goes awry it's not as simple as just saying okay why am I feeling this way, the whole system becomes agitated if one area of your system is reacting it transfers to other areas and sometimes all areas and then other things happen, it could be nervous twitches hand wringing, playing with jewellery, hair twisting, it could be a nervous bowel reaction, shortness in breath, darting looks making sure they know where the exit is so they know the escape route. They could be very loud or very soft when they speak, they could come across as nonchalant or aggressive, or ultimately, they could retreat and not speak at all. They feel like they are living on a razor's edge or waiting for the axe to fall so that at any point they could be executed, the fear and anxiety they feel is so real.

There are as many different reactions as there are people.

Most sensitive people have strategies tools things they use to cope. But sometimes when more than one thing upsets them and they are feeling super sensitive for instance, if they are reacting to the environment, the climate, someone else’s moods or even something they ate or drank then they can feel like everything is too much for them and they will withdraw from people and life if it feels too big to handle.

What I have found that could potentially help is mindful moving it doesn’t have to be strenuous but if that is what you feel you need then do it, art, writing, sunshine, walks near water, spending time breathing mindful breathing, meditating not sitting cross legged Ohming, meditating as you walk being in the present with what your body is wanting or needing at the time.

Learning to be mindful with themselves is a tool that is invaluable to those of us who have high sensitivity and anxiousness happening because they have generally lived as being so mindful of everyone else that they forget themselves.

This reminds me that as a child I was taught to be polite, that if someone spoke to you, you answered, you said thank you or please and you always put any cups or dishes on the kitchen bench, threw your rubbish in the bin and never ate in the bedroom.

On reflection I can see that much of this has fallen away young children are taught this if they are in a daycare where it is used but there are a lot of children who aren’t ever taught this. The only thing they know is they have to look after themselves because no one else will.

Is this how anxiety creates more anxiety as people across all generations become to believe they are entitled without ever caring about others, that they are the only ones that matter and manners, mindfulness, and about feeling grateful are all a crock of proverbial shit! Why because feelings are overrated.

O how many times have I heard that when I have been in crowded places like shopping centres or outdoor venues?

That brings me back to being sensitive those who are sensitive are often thought of as to sensitive to much hard work or just crazy they feel to much, turn it off, don’t let it get to you. How can they not when their basic need for safety feels threatened?

This my reflection, my ramblings for the day and I thank you for reading them and persevering with the disjointed flow.

I am one person with one person’s reflections and observations, I have no qualifications in psychology, counselling, medical diagnosis, or any other profession. I am an everyday person who likes to write and share her observations to help others see a different view or experience.

Til my next reflection or ramble may you consider how you react to others and what mindfulness is to you.