Cultivating Time and Peace

If you were a human on Earth in 2020, chances are, you had a few thoughts about health and wellness. The COVID-19 pandemic shook our species to the core — causing us to face our greatest fears, grapple with the reality of social inequality, failed systems, gaps in our personal safety nets, and the reality of our collective and individual mental health. It was a year of reality checks. And an endurance test of our ability to cope.

Despite the inherent potential to sink into unhealthy habits amidst upheaval and chaos, 2020 actually proved to be a pretty health-conscious year for me. As a wedding and elopement photographer based in Wisconsin, the winter months typically make up my slow season. A time of rest and reflection, recuperating from the previous season's stressors and implementing new processes to add value to the upcoming season. So, when the pandemic first began to elevate in severity here in the United States in March, I was actually on my way back from a trip to visit my folks in South Carolina.

As my return flight to Milwaukee neared, I recall sitting on my parent's couch, wondering if I'd survive the trip home. Or, if flying back would even be an option.

Luckily, it was, and while the trip was definitely one of the more eerily surreal journeys I've made, it went off mostly without a hitch.

Upon returning, the world began to shut down. Within a week, Wisconsin was in lockdown. I was, of course, without toilet paper (having left town with just two sheets left on the roll, thinking rather humorously, in hindsight, that I could simply pick some up when I got back). And with the exception of my trip out east, I was already well into my fourth month of personal isolation.

Uh, yeah, you read that right.

As the rest of the United States was entering the beginning of pandemic-induced lockdown, I had already been pretty much cloistered for four months.

You see, I adore photographing weddings. They're fun, invigorating, inspiring — a bit like participating in a photographic triathlon. And, as a true romantic, preserving the day when two people vow their love and commitment to one another is completely in alignment for me. But, weddings are also exhausting. Ask any wedding photographer; end of season burnout is a REAL thing. They take a toll.

When my 2019 season wrapped up, I was ready for some serious introvert recharge time. On top of that, December of 2019 saw me in the midst of a breakup with my live-in 3-year partner and moving to a new home.

Long story short, what began as a period of reflection, self reconnection, and healing, quickly became the longest stretch of isolation I've ever experienced.

And, yeah, I know I wasn't alone in that.

But, I do feel like having that 4 additional months of solo time in the mix really pushed my solitude in 2020 to heightened levels of introspection, retrospection, cultural inspection, and ultimately, (hopefully) personal growth.

Of course, as the year lurched forward, from a complete standstill to a strange, chaotic thrust into a hyper-sensitive, often emotionally terrifying rollercoaster of stops, starts, social upheaval, growth pains, and learning to manage the ever-changing scope of wedding planning with multiple clients between states with wildly different restrictions, some of my early 2020 growth practices fell to the wayside.

And, after the 3rd and 4th quarters of my year containing nearly all of my weddings and elopements for the year (those that didn't postpone to 2021 or 2022), I found myself even more exhausted and worn down post-wedding season. I was 20 lbs overweight (again), emotionally drained, and seriously considering whether or not it was all worth it.

So, I began January of 2021 in an unfamiliar place.

After building my business for the past 8 years with a purpose and vision that seemed to naturally unfold, I hit a wall. I knew I couldn't continue as things were, I couldn't turn back, and I didn't have the heart to do a whole lot of anything if I'm being honest. I wanted, rather sincerely, to simply disappear, while still somehow being there for all of the couples I'd built relationships with and who were counting on me. And I longed to grow other endeavors!

It felt, at best, like a confusing mess. And I was lost in it, surviving, but certainly not thriving. (I know, we're not supposed to admit that as business owners, but there it is.)

Which brings us finally, to the fresh start.

Knowing what was already on the books for 2020, and seeing how January was already (strangely) unfolding to be one of my busier winter months on record, shook me from my frozen state of confusion. It was time to form a plan — but a plan that was more intrinsically adaptable, because as we all learned this year, even the best-laid plans can fail and warp and take on new life.

After reflecting on some of 2020's more prominent lessons and themes within my personal experience, I've come up with the following guidelines for my life, both personally and professionally, moving forward. With any luck, they may be of some help to you as well:

1. Cultivating Quality Time

We all know time is one of the most valuable resources we have. It slips past us, catches us short, and tricks us into thinking we have more of it than we really do. Each year, we have 8,760 hours in which to sleep, eat, care for our bodies, build our strength, stretch, grow, be sexual, be sensual, enjoy our hobbies, work, care for our loved ones, care for our homes/land, explore wisdom, know ourselves, and integrate all that we do. That's just 168 hours in a week. And yet, when we think of our days, we tend to think that 8 hours is a long, arduous time - especially when it comes to working.

This year, I'm challenging myself to really commit to cultivating time well spent. Getting clear on the things that matter most to me - my loved ones, my health, my pets, my garden, my business and clients, my hobbies, my personal growth, my spiritual growth, and time spent in nature. Then, making sure each day that I schedule quality time for as many of those things as possible.

If I have to alternate days with different hobbies, so be it. But each week I intend to practice each of my hobbies and work toward personal goals. To keep skills from rusting, to stay connected to my personal fulfillment, and to make a commitment to my growth as a person. Because if I don't set aside the time to walk in nature each day, or to make healthy meals for myself, or to hone my brand, or snuggle my partner, no one else is going to give me that time. (Or the permission to take it.)

That means I'll be consciously creating a work schedule that fits around my personal goals for a day, instead of trying to squeeze in my personal and health practices on the side.

So, if you need to hear this, listen up:

I'm giving you permission to claim your time. Choose to spend it as you wish. Just don't waste the precious moments you have scrolling and dreaming of someone else's experience. Make your own.

2. Cultivating A Practice of Growth

Okay, so this one is literal and metaphorical.

I, like many of us, jumped heavily into gardening in 2020. However, for me, it was simply because I finally had enough of a yard to do it in.

If you've ever had a garden, you know, the lessons to be learned from growing your own food are endless and evergreen. Gardening teaches you patience, honor, diligence, determination, and respect for our connection to the Earth.

I highly recommend it as a practice, and it's something I intend to commit to again in 2021.

And while it may not directly relate to my business, or yours, maintaining a practice of growth like gardening, or any endeavor that requires regular upkeep to see results, will help us cultivate our businesses and personal lives. We'll be reminded to make time, to take time, to practice patience, and to remember that one seemingly small act today can lead to bountiful, easily attainable rewards in the future.

I'll be gardening to incorporate fresh, sustainably sourced, and really locally grown vegetables in my diet. And, having spent some of 2020 offering vegan meal prepping to family and friends, I'm committed to cooking at least 3-5 vegan meals a week, with a wider variety of vegetables and fruits than I normally eat, to boost my body's immunity, my brain's functioning, and my mental health. Because everything is interconnected - our gut biomes affect our ability to cope, to experience happiness, and to live healthy, full lives.

3. Keep Curating LIFE

When it comes to streamlining life and creating a fresh start, knowing what to let go of is paramount. You cannot move forward when you're bogged down by excess baggage (emotional, literal, or time commitment related).

I'm spending these first days of February assessing what aspects of my life and business no longer serve my goals or bring me happiness, and I'd encourage you to do the same.

Removing clutter from my life in the form of projects that no longer serve me (or that I can no longer serve). I've long been aware of consciously keeping toxic relationships from cluttering my time and energy, so I don't have many of those. But, I am aware that when left unchecked, my relationship with social media can become toxic. So, this year I've set some strict guidelines about how much time I'll allow myself on certain sites, and what type of content I'll post. I've also cleared out any negative digital influences.

Additionally, I'm seriously assessing daily tasks that are taking up more of my valuable time than they should, and finally implementing delegation (this is huge for me as a small business owner, and is priority #1 starting mid-February).

Release those things that aren't working. And eventually, replace them with things that are.

4. Normalize Daily Health Practices

As I mentioned, earlier, for me, wedding seasons tend to begin on a good health note, but end in stress, weight gain, and unhealthy eating habits as I binge edit galleries.

This is the year that ends. 2020 was a huge wake-up call in terms of health and wellness worldwide. And as a small business owner, I was made acutely aware of how crucial my ability to stay healthy is. So, not only did I put in place further fail-safes to protect my ability to serve my clients if I fall ill, but this year, I'm fully committed to nurturing/maintaining a lifestyle that revolves around good health. This means daily exercise, journaling, yoga, walking, good sleep, and most importantly for me, daily meditation.

5. Championing Value

This one is hardest for me, but also, right now, most crucial. And I'm going to share it openly because I think a lot of us as creatives and small business owners struggle with it: Knowing my value, charging a fee that is worthy of my expertise, and owning my expertise and skill set.

One of the trickiest parts of being self-employed for many entrepreneurs is leaving any semblance of a safety net. Then, starting out from scratch, often with imposter syndrome as you grow your brand, you have to gauge the time when the value you bring to the table is worthy of a price increase.

Personally, that has been a long time coming. And with 2021 pretty much already fully booked, and 2022 looking to be a wild year, I'm acutely aware that my expertise and value have grown to exceed what I'm currently charging. So, as much as it terrifies me, I'm committing to myself, and to my clients, to raise my prices so that I can offer them better service with less stress and greater appreciation.

Assessing how I'd genuinely like my time to be spent over the course of the next few years has given me hope for the future. I haven't reinvented the wheel. But hopefully, with more conscious planning, some delegation, a healthier approach to life, and my finances, 2021 will prove to be a welcome fresh start.