Being a pain warrior

7 years ago I was living a normal, active fairly healthy life. I say fairly because looking back now, I realize there were always signs. I was a mom to my 2 wonderful boys, I was a wife, and a career woman. Life was great.

Then came the dr appt where I learned I had to have a hysterectomy, I had developed a benign growth that required the removal of all but my ovaries. The surgery did not go as planned (story for another time) and my recovery definitely did not go as planned. What should have been 4-6 weeks turned into almost 10 months. One thing after another going wrong. I went to the dr with ongoing issues, changing symptoms, and the long process of testing started. Medications were given to relieve symptoms that often didn’t make sense. (the symptoms not the meds lol)

Finally, after almost 2 years of back and forth with my family dr, several specialist a diagnosis was found, I have psoriatic arthritis (PSA). When the dr told me my diagnosis, I cried, not because I was upset that I had it (I mean I was) but manly because I was so relieved that there was actually something wrong, and it wasn’t all in my head.

PsA is an autoimmune disease, and as the name suggests inflammatory arthritis is the main issue. However, it doesn’t just end here with a simple, ”oh you have arthritis”, I wish it were as simple as that. This is a form of arthritis that affects all parts of the body, not just the joints like “regular” arthritis. Some days I can be “ok” (my version of ok, which always involves some level of daily pain) and others I can wake up with half my face swollen, or get hives for no reason. Some days my hands hurt so badly I can’t hardly hold a cup, other days, my hand will have a spasm and I will randomly drop whatever I’m carrying. Some days, I have severe asthma like symptoms (on top of the asthma I actually have), and other days the fatigue is so bad that doing anything at all takes every ounce of energy I have.

regardless of what day I am having though, I fight as best I can on that day, because some days are good. Some days I can be productive, some days I can put a smile on my face and actually mean it and actually feel happy, be a mom, a wife a career woman. I just wish more people understood, that even on those days, I’m still in pain, I just have a little more strength to overcome it.