The Five BS OF Keeping It Quiet After The Apocalypse

When things hit the fan, there will be plenty of people to avoid. You’ll be wanting to avoid fellow scavengers, bandits, and the military, all of whom have their own reasons to want you captured, detained, or just plain dead. This means that you need to find ways to keep quiet, stay mobile, and be able to disappear into the woods. The problem is that most people tend to think that there is a direct correlation between noise and effectiveness; that is, guns, SUVs, and crowds are believed to be the most effective options by far too many people, when there are plenty of more effective ways of doing the same thing.

The Five Bs that can help you are Bikes, Bows, Bread, Bivouac, and Binary. Let’s discuss how they can help you.

Bicycles: Two Wheels, Many Purposes

A lot of movies may play up gas-powered vehicles, but the reality is that they have a lot of major disadvantages: They require access to a hard-to-obtain fuel, they need some serious maintenance to keep running, and they’re loud. While you may have the mechanical skills and find enough fuel to keep a truck, it can be too loud to justify the cargo capacity. Bikes, on the other hand, require less maintenance, the parts are easy to find, and they don’t require fuel, just a healthy individual on the pedals. You can also expand the carrying capacity by attaching a wagon.

They’re also a lot quieter. While they’re not completely silent, their speed helps you get out of potential scrapes before they happen. Since they’re also not as limited by the terrain as other vehicles, and they are light enough to be carried if necessary, they are great as all-terrain vehicles. All of this makes them great for scouting outposts, as the biker can get in and away pretty fast. With some form of attached contrivance, they can carry a lot, making them great for scavenging: You can get in and get out, almost without a sign. For someone looking for a good vehicle, you can do a lot worse.

[You could also consider horses. However, they aren’t quite as silent, and require food and maintenance, but are a little faster, better at handling terrain, and can extend your range. With training, they give you some interesting tactical options, but keep in mind that they need training to ignore the sound of gunshots.]

Bows: Stealth Option for Hunting and Defense

Rifles may have the best range of the various weapons available to civilians, they can be loud. Also, there’s a reason that bullets can act as a form of currency: They are difficult to manufacture for most people, even though it can be relatively simple to get the materials. Even pistols can be loud, and both require some serious maintenance to keep working, even AKs. A bow, on the other hand, may have more limited range, but the arrows are relatively to either produce or find, and is nicely silent: This makes you harder to track and doesn’t scare your prey.

From a defensive perspective, this means you can pop, disappear, and reappear somewhere else. A group of defenders could drive a larger force crazy trying to put them down. While it does mean that you need to keep up practice and possibly increasing the poundage of the bow for better efficiency, this does make them ideal for defense. Combined with something to increase travel speed, such as a horse, bicycle, or motorbike, you have a great option for harrying an opponent. While they don’t have the reload speed of most firearms, the lack of recoil and noise can be a definite asset for someone trying to sneak around, giving you an offensive edge and an advantage while hunting.

Bread: As Simple As You Want It

One of the biggest problems in the post-apocalyptic world will be calories. One of the best options is bread: It only takes flour and water, it’s easy to bake, and it’s easy to transport. While the wheat does take some preparation (there’s a reason medieval villages had mills), one acre of wheat can provide up to 3600 bushels per acre, or enough bread for about 60 people to eat for a year. However, the flour gives you all sorts of options, and even the bread increases your options. It’s also great for something on the go, and can either be eaten by itself or as part as something else, like sandwiches and pasties.

So while it does anchor you to one location, and one with a steady source of water, this is not necessarily a disadvantage; the same mill you use for grinding flour can also be used to produce electricity. This also allows you to set things up. However, bread is a high-calorie food, making it a nice thing to have considering you’re going to need a lot more calories in your new rugged life. By adding a few other ingredients (such as baking powder and soda, or even varying the amount of sugar and other spices), you can add a lot of variety to your menu with little extra work. Not bad for something so simple.

Oh, and how does this help your stealth? Avoiding hunger allows you to keep focused and that keeps you from making really stupid mistakes. It also keeps you from getting distracted by any food you see or smell, a necessity when you’re trying to not get caught. It also gives you the energy to keep going. Minor things, sure, but anything that gives you the edge is well worth noting.

[Yes, you can substitute corn for wheat. While there are fewer possibilities as far as different types of tortillas and cornbread, you do get something better as a vegetable (making it great for feasts, stews, and other recipes), as well as alcohol. You can also create corn syrup. However, each acre produces fewer bushels per acre (only 150-200 bushels per acre), so you’re going to need more acres to feed the same number of people.]

Bivouac: The Best Temporary Shelter You Can Make

When you’re on the go, it can be good idea to create a temporary base. If you’re on your own, having a temporary location to rest for a day or two is a good idea, and if you’re hunting or fishing, having a specific location where you can smoke the meat is not a bad idea. At night, you can use string or fishing line to set up traps to harm potential intruders or signal to let you know someone is coming in. It’s also pretty easy to set up a tent and fire (once you know how). If you’re traveling as a group, it can act as a base for the group, giving everyone a location to put their heavier equipment, allowing them to go faster.

From a stealth perspective, this means that you’re lighter on your feet (making you faster) and that it’s easier to sneak about. Just make sure that your bivouac site is protected (either by traps or a junior associate), or in a location where you can grab everything from, and you should be good to go.

Binary: The Power of Friendship

Being alone in a dangerous environment is never a good thing. Having a friend along allows you to let your guard down a little, and even sleep with reduced fear of attack. It also gives you a potential distraction, allowing you to escape, and can give you someone who may be willing to rescue you, opportunities willing. If you’re part of a gang or even a strike group, these benefits are only magnified. While some pairs are obvious (friends, lover, master/apprentice), this also allows you to keep someone under protection or even guard them; while not advised for prisoners, that is another option.

In short, having another set of eyes is not an entirely bad idea.

It’s not mandatory that you take up all of these suggestions, but they can help you get around a lot easier and avoid trouble. Given that keeping safe, sane, and whole is greatly abetted by keeping out of trouble, anything that helps you avoid trouble is a good thing. Learning to skirt the edges of society is well worth taking the time to learn, especially those forced to go around solo or in small groups. These tips may not make you full-blown invisible, but they could put you well on the way to becoming at least an urban ninja.