Perfectly Me: Surviving AuDHD in a World Built for Neurotypicals

Every productivity guide is a lie. They’re written for people who can remember birthdays without alarms, who can walk into a grocery store without sunglasses, and who don’t melt down because one speck of pepper is out of place.

If you’re AuDHD, you don’t need another Pinterest board of “life hacks.” You need survival gear. This is mine.

Outsourcing My Brain

I don’t waste brain space on memory if I don’t have to. I outsource everything. Alexa reminders, notes on my phone, alarms, lists, random voice memos- if there’s a tool that holds information for me, I’m using it. Memory is a tax I don’t pay.

And then there are the drinks. Always multiple drinks. Coffee, water, electrolytes, protein shake- whatever keeps me from having to get up every time I want a different taste. If I don’t set myself up that way, I’ll just stay thirsty and miserable.

Eating is its own battlefield. If I don’t distract myself while I eat, I’ll hyperfixate on something stupid- the texture’s weird, the seasoning’s off, maybe that pepper flake looks suspicious- and suddenly I’ve lost my appetite completely. If I don’t eat, I hurt. So yeah, I eat with Netflix, podcasts, or noise- whatever tricks my brain into not overthinking every bite.

My Survival Uniform

Sunglasses. Indoors, outdoors, I don’t care. Nobody cares anymore anyway. My brain thanks me every time the lights dim.

Headphones? Mandatory. Doesn’t matter what kind- just pick a pair and live in them. Putting them on feels like diving into a cold swimming pool on the hottest day of summer. Relief. Quiet. Breathing space.

Comfort items aren’t optional. They’re survival. If I need my softest hoodie to sleep, I wear it. Otherwise I wake up cold and cranky, and the whole day spirals. That’s not laziness. That’s coping.

And then there’s shopping. Online ordering has saved my life more times than I can count. I used to drag myself into stores, bracing against fluorescent lights, crowded aisles, and people just… hanging out and chatting in the middle of everything. Exhausting. Now? I don’t do it unless I absolutely have to. I haven’t touched Black Friday in years- and if I tried, I’d cry.

Meal prep is another lifeline. My body needs protein, and a premade shake is one of the only guarantees I’ll actually get it. I’d love to only shop local, boycott big corporations, all that. But survival trumps idealism. Especially when you live in a small town where “local” doesn’t cover half your needs anyway.

Emotional Truth

Here’s the part no one puts in productivity blogs: emotions.

You will have meltdowns. You will run into people you simply cannot stay calm around. And you will mirror other people’s feelings so hard that you can’t always tell what’s yours and what’s not.

That makes me empathetic as hell. I’m a soft landing space for a lot of people. But it also makes me fragile. My heart’s wide open, and when it cracks, it cracks big.

I love fast and full- always with my whole chest. Which means if you hang out with me long enough, you’ll see me cry. I don’t care. That’s just being human.

I will be late sometimes. Not because I don’t care, but because I needed more time to prepare than I had. If it’s important, I fight even harder to make it. Hyperfocus makes me unstoppable when I lock in—but if I can’t manage the task at all, it disappears from my reality like it never existed.

And you know what? That’s fine. I don’t need to be perfect. I’m already perfectly me.

My Rule

I can’t change how I feel. All I can do is try to respond instead of react. To move with purpose instead of fear. To heal instead of harm.

This isn’t a polished guide. It’s messy, like me. But it works. And if you’re AuDHD too, maybe you’ll see something in here that makes you feel a little less broken.

Because the truth is- we’re not broken. We’re surviving. And some days, that’s more than enough.

Author Note: I’m building a trauma-informed emotional app that actually gives a damn and writing up the receipts of a life built without instructions for my AuDHD. ❤️ Help me create it (without burning out): https://bit.ly/BettyFund