Old wives must not nag each other

One day, Uncle Li was cooking fish in the kitchen. Just start cooking, his wife will come next to nagging: "The fire is too big, hurry up and turn the fish over." "You see, the fish head is burnt." Uncle Li is very upset, angrily said: "you do it!"

As the saying goes, there are more roots than trees. Getting old, the old man is easy to say a thing repeatedly several times, nagging words, the family often feel impatient. Guo Yong, vice president of the Beijing Federation of Social Psychological Work, explained, "Elderly people nagging is more about showing concern. Sometimes I forget, so I often say the same thing multiple times." While there are many reasons why older people nag, in general, becoming a nag and having a poor memory is actually a sign of an aging brain, an irresistible natural order of things. What's more, older couples nagging each other has some benefits for the physical and mental health of both the listener and the speaker. According to a New York University School of Medicine Langone Medical Center study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association, being a good listener is critical to preventing cognitive decline in the brain, both in normal aging and neurodegenerative conditions like Alzheimer's disease.

From a physical point of view, talking is a good stimulus to the brain and helps keep it active. The human brain is in and out of use. Every time you speak, you need to think logically, refine and organize the language. Therefore, speaking more appropriately can stimulate brain cells, keep them active and excited, and effectively delay the aging process of the brain. In addition, speaking can make the mouth and throat parts get exercise, is conducive to maintain the eustachian tube patency, so that the pressure inside and outside the ear to maintain balance, has a health effect on the elderly hearing; And speaking activates facial muscles and nerves, which may reduce the risk of eye or neurological problems.

In terms of mental health, nagging actually represents the elderly's need to care for their families, improve their self-worth, and connect with others. Guo said that when people get old, they often feel a lack of self-worth, and if there is no listener, it is very easy to feel depressed and depressed, which will become negative and depressed in the long run. Moreover, everyone has a need to communicate with others and a desire for a response. If a person is isolated, no one to talk to communicate, not only the ability to speak will slowly degenerate, there will also be social isolation, social isolation and other psychological disorders, extremely adverse to physical and mental health.

In fact, life is made up of small things, Guo said, as long as good understanding, empathy and calm response, nagging can be transformed from "noise" to "good news".

Correct the resistance mentality. For his wife's nagging, to adjust self-cognition, realize that this is a kind of old performance, understand each other's nagging starting point. Don't be too resistant, not to be averse to criticism. If you can't change your mind at the moment, Guo suggests treating yourself as a tape recorder and being a loyal listener when your partner is nagging, recording each other's speech and slowly experiencing the concern in each other's words. Whether these nagging can affect the couple's later life is up to you.

Learn to respond and defuse. In listening, you don't have to blindly follow each other's consciousness, but you can also guide it in time. For example, when his wife is rambling on, he half-jokingly says that he has heard, so that his partner will not doubt his language talent. Guo Yong said nagging is okay, as long as people listen well and learn to skillfully resolve, nagging will bring happiness to the family.

Be kind. In the face of nagging wife, to calmly chat heart to heart, increase communication; We can also encourage each other to exercise, develop hobbies, and participate in community public welfare work, so as to enrich both sides' later life and spiritual world as much as possible. According to Guo, once the sense of self-worth and satisfaction is improved, he will not worry too much about small things.