How much sex is too much?

sex, love and happiness

Don't get us wrong: Sex is a normal, healthy, fun part of adult life. In fact, sexual attraction and sexual compatibility are the basis of many successful relationships.

It can be natural to think about our nether regions, but constantly acting on those thoughts while the laundry piles up can be a sign of a problem. So how much sex is ideal and how much is too much?

Research shows that, for people in relationships, sex is linked to greater well-being and happiness. But more doesn't equal better. People who have sex twice a week are no happier than those who have sex once a week. (Don't worry, they're none the less happy.) Trusted Source

Which leads to the question: Is it possible that doing too much karma can hinder a happy, healthy life?

Hypersexuality

If the intense sexual appetite isn't related to a new infatuation, it could be part of a more serious problem.

If your sexual impulses get out of control, or you are having sex to avoid feeling lonely or depressed, or you are afraid of risky consequences (such as contracting a sexually transmitted infection (STI) or losing a partner) If you are still having sex, then it could be a sign of a problem.

Sex obsession – sometimes called hypersexuality, compulsive sexual behavior or sex addiction – is an ambiguous topic. Some research supports the idea that sex addiction is a psychiatric disorder, but other reports suggest the topic is still up for debate. reliable source

A study published in 2013 suggests that most of the time, hypersexuality is really just high desire and not necessarily a disorder. reliable source

Regardless, if sex is being used as a substitute for dealing with a real problem, it is time to consult a doctor or therapist who specializes in the field of sexual health.

The Mayo Clinic suggests asking yourself these questions to help you decide whether to seek professional help:

Can I control my sexual impulses?

Am I distressed by my sexual behavior?

Is my sexual behavior damaging my relationships, affecting my work, or resulting in negative consequences, such as getting arrested?

Do I try to hide my sexual behavior?

At the end of the day, it comes down to quality over quantity. Having sex daily doesn't mean that it's too much, as long as both partners are involved and neither one is getting hurt.

But if you're having a lot of sex and one person feels more satisfied (read: having more orgasms) than the other, sex can start to feel like a chore for the less satisfied party.

How Much Sex Is Good For Your Health?

According to recent research, Americans in their 20s have sex an average of about 80 times per year, and about 20 times per year in their 60s. reliable source

, So if it's average, what's healthy?

Sexual behavior expert Barry McCarthy, PhD, suggests having a healthy sex life once or twice a week. But during the infatuation stage (aka the honeymoon stage, when two people can't stop thinking about each other), you can have sex every chance you get.

But keep in mind, with all this action, sex can be a little uncomfortable. After all, the vagina doesn't stay lubricated forever. If you're having pain or numbness, it's wise to call it quits for the night. And keep a bottle of lubricant on hand for rough or marathon sessions.

Not only can lube make for more comfortable sex, it can also help prevent condom breakage.

Try some sex talk

Of course, there's no right way to go about sex, and the preferred amount varies from person to person. In order to have a fulfilling sex life that's perfect, it's helpful to be honest and open with your partner about how often you want to have it.

And that doesn't mean it has to be a boring discussion. Telling your partner about your desires—in specific terms—can be insanely sensual. In fact, some research shows that couples who communicate about sex are more satisfied and happy in their relationships.

In fact, more sexual communication is linked to more frequent orgasms for women. reliable source

As weird as it sounds, it can also be smart to schedule sex so that the partner with the low libido doesn't feel pressured, and the partner with the high libido doesn't feel rejected.

Sexual coercion

That said, if you ever feel overwhelmed by the type or amount of sex you're having, stand up for yourself. According to Planned Parenthood, pressuring someone to have sex or sexually do something they don't want to do is a form of abuse called sexual coercion.

If you feel uncomfortable, don't stay silent. And if your partner isn't receptive to you asking them to get some rest, talk to someone who can help or walk away. Sexual coercion is no joke.

Bottom-line

Having regular sex is part of a healthy, normal adult life. But when sex gets in the way of your day-to-day, it may be time to seek professional help from a doctor or therapist. The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) provides a nationwide directory of certified therapists who specialize in human sexuality.

Our appetites for sex rise and fall, and successful couples need to manage those ups and downs. Sometimes the libidos match, but when they don't, we need to take responsibility for our sexuality to enjoy ourselves. The answer may lie in our own hands.