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I don't know about you, but I was tired of scrolling through perfectly crafted pictures and captions. Minutes turned to hours, and I found myself down rabbit holes of affiliate links and shopping sites I had never heard of. I thought it made me happy, and after I finally got off the phone, I would be filled with dread. Why do I never look that good? Will I ever learn to dress in a flattering way? I don't have to explain that I live in athleisure wear; I, to this day, still can't dress. I plan to curate a closet that works for me using the capsule wardrobe. A minimalist dream closet that uses only 33 articles of clothing to create endless options for outfits. That is to be continued, though! Back to the main story...

Not to mention every time I did anything, I felt the need to document the event as if the followers I had amassed cared what I was doing. From taking a picture of my Starbucks to videoing my morning walk, I needed to make sure people knew I was out here living. I had a modest following, a few, but enough that brands would pay me to try out their products and advertise them. I had a clothing sponsor and many other products, from skinny tea to CBD lotion. I became obsessive and had to find the proper lighting and take so many pictures my head spun from looking at them. At the risk of sounding pretentious and spoiled, I was overwhelmed with free things. Free things I didn't need. By this time, minimalism was making its way into my brain, and I started questioning the intentionality of all these items.

I realized I was unhappy because I didn't care for the products. I felt like I was selling my soul for items with very little worth. Skinny tea made me pee too much, and the clothes came from manufacturing countries that didn't pay their workers a livable wage, and that is if I could even find the manufacturing country. It is challenging to see where things are manufactured. When I contacted the companies to speak to the humans behind the product, I was left with stale replies and a false sense of capitalism.

I am a massive fan of capitalism when done correctly. People often see capitalism as the bane of being selfish; however, being selfish does not help sell products. The modern-day consumer cares about the story and values of companies now. As a collective, we are not allowing selfishness to reign as sovereign. We are seeing through the bullshit and not allowing companies to think they are in control anymore. Yet, I was letting these companies be in control. My price was free products and minor payments. I was curating a conglomerate of items that took up too much space in my one-bedroom apartment and too much space in my mind. I could not allow that to stand, as I had no shared values with the products I was advertising.

I eventually gave it all up. As the Minimalists say, "Advertisements suck." I didn't want to be a part of that cycle. I didn't want to give false hope, or nonclinical advice, on weight loss with tea. I know I am giving it to the skinny tea; however, the skinny tea is more of a symbol of these wild diet culture ideas being spread like wildfire. I canceled all my contracts and finally deactivated all my accounts—Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. I thought at first I was going to have an itch for social media, an itch to get back on a doom scroll or wonder what my friends were up to. However, the sense of relief I feel is more freeing.

It is weird when people ask to connect on social media, and I tell them I don't have any. The response is usually, "Not even Facebook?" And I shake my head and tell them how much better I feel not wasting time on the meta world. They usually congratulate me and say, "I could never." I try not to pry into the whys of people and their reason for being in the meta world. It is their business. Just because I chose not to be on social media doesn't mean that way of life is for everyone. I may decide to go back, but be more intentional with using social media. I look for ethical and value-driven companies for any products I use now. I want to bring value when deciding to be on social media, just as I hope to bring value here on Vocal. If it doesn't bring value, don't subscribe.