10 Lessons My Twenties Taught Me (So Far)

Turning 23 feels strange—like standing on a cliff between who I was and who I’m becoming. The twenties are wild: dreams crash into reality, friendships shift without warning, and you start to hear your own voice louder than anyone else’s.

These years aren’t just about “figuring life out.” They’re about learning, unlearning, stumbling, and getting back up again. I’ve made mistakes. I’ve had some wins too. And somewhere along the way, I picked up a few lessons I wish I had known earlier.

So whether you’re 20 and confused, 25 and tired, or 30 and still searching, here are 10 lessons my twenties have taught me so far—truths that might help you breathe a little easier and walk a little stronger.

1. Not Everyone Will Stay—And That’s Okay

Friendships fade. People change. Some outgrow the space they once filled in your life. At first, it broke me when people I loved stopped calling or caring. But I’ve learned this: not everyone who starts with you is meant to finish with you. Let them go with grace. The right people stay.

2. Self-Worth Isn’t Earned—It’s Remembered

For years, I chased validation—through grades, likes, relationships, and approval. It left me exhausted and dependent. The truth? Self-worth isn’t earned from others; it’s remembered within yourself. You were already enough before anyone noticed. Don’t let anyone make you forget that.

3. Your Mental Health Deserves Respect

It’s not weakness. It’s not “drama.” Anxiety, burnout, and depression are real. Ignoring them doesn’t make you strong—it makes you suffer longer. Therapy helped me. Journaling helped me. Saying “no” helped me. Take care of your mind the same way you would your body. You deserve peace inside your own head.

4. Time Is Your Most Expensive Currency

In your twenties, it feels like you have forever. So you waste time—wrong jobs, wrong people, wrong habits. I learned this the hard way. Time is non-refundable. Spend it wisely. Invest in people and choices that give back to you.

5. Your Twenties Aren’t a Race

Some friends are married, some are traveling, some are still living with their parents. All of them are doing just fine. Life isn’t a race or a ladder—it’s a personal story. Walk your path at your own pace. Comparison will only rob you of joy.

6. You’ll Change—And That’s a Good Thing

At 18, I wouldn’t recognize the person I am now. That used to scare me. Today, I see it as growth. You’re supposed to evolve. Don’t feel guilty for outgrowing old habits, dreams, or circles. Change isn’t betrayal—it’s transformation.

7. Learn to Sit With Yourself

Being alone terrified me. I distracted myself with people, noise, and screens. But solitude taught me something: who I really am when no one’s watching. It’s in the quiet moments that self-discovery happens. Learn to be your own safe space.

8. You Don’t Owe Anyone an Explanation

One of the most freeing lessons: you don’t need to explain every decision. Leaving a toxic relationship, quitting a job, starting fresh—you don’t owe anyone a full story. Let people misunderstand you. You owe them kindness, not justification.

9. Progress Matters More Than Perfection

Perfection kept me trapped. I wanted to be flawless—perfect student, perfect daughter, perfect friend. But perfection is a prison. What freed me was progress. Small wins. Imperfect steps. Every bit of effort counts. The goal isn’t perfection—it’s growth.

10. Faith or Purpose Makes the Journey Bearable

Your twenties will test your heart. For me, reconnecting with faith became an anchor—a lighthouse when everything felt chaotic. Whether it’s religion, spirituality, or purpose, find something bigger than yourself to hold onto. It will carry you through the storms.

Final Thoughts: It’s Okay to Not Know

If I could tell my younger self anything, it would be this: You’re doing better than you think. You’re not late. You’re not lost. You’re learning.

There’s no perfect manual for your twenties. Just keep moving. Keep asking. Keep growing. And when it gets dark, remember: growth often happens quietly before it blooms in the light.

A Note to You

If you’re overwhelmed, uncertain, or just tired—breathe. You’re not alone. We’re all stumbling through our twenties, faking confidence, laughing at memes, crying at night, and figuring things out as we go.

Give yourself patience. Give yourself grace. Most of all, give yourself permission to become. The best chapters are still ahead.

✍️ Written by a 23-year-old still figuring it out.