Words

Words. Words are ways that people use to speak to one another. Words can be used for good things: encouragement, feelings, friendship, relationships, and love. Also, words could be used for awful things: hate, fear, dishonesty, and even death. There's a saying that goes “Life and death are in the power of the tongue,” but everyone seems to forget that. Unfortunately, it would usually be the ones that are close to you like friends, but the ones that hurt me the most are the ones that come from family, especially my parents.

There wasn’t that much encouragement from them if it wasn’t something that they believed in. I remember when I was a child and would do a lot of singing in church, win prizes, applause everywhere, except for her. Everyone would tell me “You did great!” or “That was amazing!” I missed those days of singing and feeling free, but then I remember, that every show must end, and reality starts to step in when the courting comes down.

“You missed a note” or “That's not how said singer sings it” every time I try to defend myself by saying, “I tried my best,” but the words “Your best isn’t good enough” always escape her lips. My best wasn’t good enough. That saying then turns into, “Am I not good enough?” That’s not something that you say to your child because their thinking that they are not good enough will shape them into the person that they will hate later in their life.

Even there was a time when my father said that he wished that I was never born. Like I asked to be here. I wasn’t the one that made you two have sex and have me. That was the grown folk’s decision. Not mine! If you didn’t want to have me then you should’ve taken the way to get rid of me while I was a baby, but you didn’t because I’m still here. Then that turns into “Why am I here? I shouldn’t have been born.”

I remember when I was in school and was passing my class and the lowest grade that I had was 70%, which was for economics, that was a tough class for me. I understand that it may be low in some parent’s eyes, but would it hurt for you to say “I’m proud of you for passing this class and it may have been a little bit difficult for you. We can sign you up for tutoring to help you with that class.” Nope, I didn’t get that. “You’re failing this class? A 70% is not passing, it’s failing! Why can’t you be like the other girl that’s in your class that’s passing?” Little did she know that the same girl that she was comparing me to was the same one that’s cheating on her assignment and having sex with that same teacher. Now, even little accomplishments that I make now, just seem like they’re not that big of a deal.

I just wish that people would think before they speak, but I guess that’s asking for too much.