What... like it's hard?

It was 2008, I was sitting in my therapist’s office one night after school. My Mom made me start coming here after she and my dad told us they were getting a divorce. Really, I wasn’t surprised, they had a volatile relationship with a lot of yelling on one end (Dad) and a lot of silence and resentment on the other (Mom). Nonetheless, they started going to a couple’s counselor who suggested they bring us kids to see someone as well. My therapist and I talked about a lot of stuff including my boyfriend, parents, the divorce, but mostly school and college. I knew from as far back as I can remember that I wanted to go to college. My Mom is from Newfoundland, Canada and my dad is from Athens, Greece. They met in Florida (it’s a long story) where my mom went to Nursing school and my dad got his AA at a Junior College. Neither of them really pushed college, but they did push hard work and education in general. I love reading and writing because of that (and my Grandparents) so I ended up going to magnet school programs and becoming friends with other kids whose parents prioritized school as well. We all wanted to go to college. We were all going to college. It was a fact, not an option. Also, if you’ve ever watched Gilmore Girls or Legally Blonde you would know that the ultimate goal is Harvard or Yale. What... like it’s hard?

I would have LOVED to go to Yale or Harvard or even NYU or Berkeley. I loved any city that would get me out of St. Pete, Florida and let me explore the real world. And boys, obviously. The problem was that I didn’t know what I wanted to go college for. What would my major be? Would I be a journalist like Rory? Or maybe pre-law like Elle? I honestly considered both of these. Not to brag but I was an editor for the Lakewood Times, my high school newspaper.

Anyway, back to Therapy.

Therapist- “Have you ever thought about studying Psychology? Maybe looking into being a therapist or Counselor yourself?”

My- “What?”

My therapist thought I would be a good Therapist for some reason. I’m honestly not sure why, but upon her suggestion my mom booked me a session to complete an interest inventory and what do you know, the first career it indicated was Therapist/Mental Health Counselor/ Social Worker. Another one was Journalism. No lawyer. I applied to colleges and got in to Florida Gulf Coast University, about two hours away from home. We went to tour FGCU as a family and wow, it was beautiful. My Dad joked that I was being sent to a resort. He wasn’t wrong. Our “dorms” were far from the tiny rooms you saw on TV with two twin beds and a mini fridge. These were apartment style dorms, where all four of us girls had our own room, a bathroom with double sinks and two separate bathrooms with toilets and showers AND a full kitchen and living room. So blessed. We were a short walk from campus and the entire campus was 90% untouched nature preserve. There was a big lake with water activities, a pool, a brand-new gym, and the entire campus was maybe 10 years old. Tops. It was very new and beautiful and basically all the rich kids who didn’t get in anywhere else went there. I wasn’t rich but I didn’t get in anywhere else... so. Also, the dorm areas were co-ed so our neighbors were hockey players, major plus.

I started school at FGCU in August 2008 with my major as Psychology. I changed it once to undecided and changed it back to Psychology within the year. It was good for a couple of years, I met some great people and had times I will never forget, both good and bad. Despite a few setbacks including having to retake a couple of classes, take on two jobs to pay for said classes, and enduring a very tough breakup that included drugs, stealing, and sliced tires, I managed to apply and get in to Florida State’s Psychology program. I could not have done this without the support from my parents and friends. Honestly, FGCU was tiny and not a great environment. Definitely not for me and I needed to leave Estero, Florida behind for good. I decided to move to Tallahassee in January 2011. I wasn’t starting FSU until August 2011 and I needed A LOT more credits. I decided the best way to do this was take online courses for the last of my classes at FGCU and a few more courses at Tallahassee Community College. These were sped up, intensified courses so I could get all the credits I needed. I sublet an apartment with three other girls and over the summer lived with my boyfriend and his roommate and one of my best friends. It was tough, to say the least. It was finally August 2011 and I did it. I took all the courses and got in to FSU. These next two years were amazing- and also really fucking hard. I loved psychology and I worked so, so hard. I had honestly never cared about anything, especially grades, so much in my life. But I loved it. I had so many amazing professors, who genuinely cared about what they were teaching. I went to A LOT of football games, bars, and parties, and had such an amazing time. I was with my boyfriend the whole time, had some ups and downs, made and lost some friends, got held up at gunpoint, did an amazing internship at the State Attorney’s Office, and truly enjoyed the college experience. I graduated in June 2013 with my parents, brother, Nana and Poppy there to watch, and it was one of the proudest moments of my life. WE DID IT!

Next up, grad school. After my internship with The State Attorney’s office, working with the Victims of Violent Crimes, I knew I wanted to continue with counseling. However, most of the people that came in for intakes or statements were not what I thought. So many women were there because they got in a fight with their significant other and the cops were called but so few people ever wanted to press charges or do anything about it. WTF. In these cases, the State actually pressed charges and it was not up to the victim because these were criminal charges and not civil, so a lot of times these women would want to be back with their husbands or boyfriends or baby daddy’s and couldn’t because they were arrested and in jail or not had a no contact order on them. Half the time these men were supporting the women and they literally couldn’t afford not to be with the men. Especially for child support. My job was to sit in on these intake sessions, where the social worker would get more information on the incident. I would also be in court for First Appearance, where the victim would likely be and I would be there as support for them and also find out what would happen at the hearing. The court room was very small as it only held the Judge and a few rows that’s held the victims and their families, sometimes the family of the person being charged. The perpetrators were still in jail (as this hearing was always the next morning- unless on a Friday or Saturday) so they were called in on video, kind of like Skyping in from jail. My job was to send mail to update victims on what the court proceedings were and update on future dates including when the person would be released and if there was a no contact order, etc. It was such an amazing job and I knew I wanted to stay in the criminal justice system while also practicing psychology BUT instead of working with victims, I realized what I really wanted was to work on the other side, with the ‘criminals.’ I was fascinated. When I got to FSU, I had to pick a minor. I picked Criminology. I loved these classes. I loved learning about the law and also the different mind sets of “criminals.” There are so many ways to think about it. There are people who do things out of necessity, like steal food or kill out of defense. But what about the other people? The sociopaths, psychopaths, narcissists... the serial killers, cult leaders, mass murderers, and black widows. By the amount of Netflix specials out now it’s pretty clear there’s an interest there. But I wanted to be there, first hand, I want to be the Therapist or Psychologist that works with them. I felt this curiosity, it felt so genuine, not even judgmental, just pure curiosity and empathy for these people that have such a different psychological makeup from us. Was it the way they were brought up, were they born with a different brain chemistry? Nature or nurture or maybe both?

My boyfriend at the time was studying political science and psychology so we took a couple of the same classes and had the best conversations. He was a year ahead of me so his senior year comprised of him taking the LSAT to get in to law school and applying to law schools. He got in to Loyola Law school in New Orleans and moved there that summer. I visited a lot that next year, when I wasn’t busy studying for the GRE. I needed a certain score to get in to any Counseling program and he suggested I look into Loyola’s Counseling program while I was visiting. I set up an appointment with one of the professors and met with him while visiting one weekend. It was amazing, such a tiny program, which I was not used to being at a bigger University. The average amount of students in a cohort was about 15. I loved it and decided that’s where I would go. It was literally the only program I applied to. Not even a backup plan... smart.

I took the GRE, it rained a lot and the power went out BUT I got a good enough score and some pretty solid letters of recommendation from one of my psychology professors, the counseling group I was a part of, RENEW (Realizing Everyone’s Need for Emotional Wellness), and my internship site director. I got an interview at Loyola and the rest is history. The end.

Just kidding. We'll just have to save the rest for another time...