What it's Like to Be Homeless At 18

I grabbed my Computer, my Phone and my Black Notebook, then entered my car and drove off. I drove until I got to Barnes and Nobles. I parked my car outside of the bookstore then, it finally hit me that I was homeless.

It’s funny in a tragic way. I remember when I was nine years old and we were driving past a homeless person begging for money and I asked, how can you possibly be homeless? This is the United States not Iraq! I assumed it has to be from their level of irresponsibility. But that’s not true. Like a key waiting underneath a doormat, I discovered quickly that it is not true. You do not have to be irresponsible or a drug addict to be homeless. You do not have to have a mental illness to be homeless. You just have to be alive. That’s the basic requirement.

When I got to Barnes and Nobles, I picked up my computer and went in to complete my homework assignment. I didn’t finish but they closed at 8pm so I parked my car as close as I could so I could still have access to their 24/7 Wifi. I didn’t finish it till 11:39pm. I never thought of this, but I wondered where I would sleep. Do I sleep in my car ? Or in an abandoned house ? If I do sleep in my car, where should I park? Will I be safe ? I never thought about all these things.

According to statistics, there are approximately 700,000 homeless people in the United States as of 2019. This is before the 2020 pandemic. I can only imagine what these numbers look like now. Aside from that, there are so many misconceptions as to what can cause someone to be homeless.

For me, it all started the day I decided to chase my dreams and abandon the future my parents planned for me. They wanted me to be in Healthcare, a nice secure and predictable career path. I wanted the opposite. I wanted something unpredictable and something that will require solving major problems and making an impact in my community. I want to start my own company and provide employment opportunities for people being displaced by technology. My parents said it’s too risky. I agree it’s risky, but I want to give myself that opportunity to try. Thus, I decided to chase my dreams and my parents decided to part ways with me. That was it. Just like that I became homeless.

I learned that being in a house did not make it home. A home, for me, contains support, words of encouragement, love, kindness, patience and a gentle spirit. Thus, even if I was sleeping in my car, I felt at home. Sleeping next to my Black Notebook made me feel at home. Before going to sleep at night or leaving my car in the morning, I would open my Black Notebook and turn to the first page. I would start reading the notes I left for myself

“

You are wonderfully made,

You are great

You can achieve anything

You are intelligent

You are not an accident or a mistake

Your circumstances do not define you

You are not a failure

You deserve love

You deserve all of your hearts desires

Nothing is too good for you

”

I would spend hours reading these pages filled with words, it nourished my soul. It kept me awake, it kept me going and it kept me pushing. It gave me the courage to apply for opportunities I would have assumed I didn’t deserve. I applied for a writing contest and won $20,000. I used it to get an apartment, a place I can turn into my own home.