What It Is That I See Outside My Window

Better late than never — it’s just been a topsy turvy, emotional roller coaster of a month but my dear friend, Nevena Pascaleva, I’m finally here and responding to your mysterious prompt, ‘I’m Afraid to Look Through the Window.’ Thank you so much for the invite and I do apologise for my tardiness.

For everyone else, if you’re curious, here is Nevena’s prompt.

Nevena asked me to look outside my window as I sit here and write today.

Well here goes!

As I look outside my window, a large glass double window, with white bars to keep me safe, I see railroad workers completing maintenance on the railway track across the road. Then I remember why I’m super tired today and it’s because of these workers as they have been working throughout the night. I remember waking at 1 am to the beeping of their truck reversing, waking again at 3 am to their hammering on metal tracks and again at 5 am to their noisy machinery that stopped me going back to sleep.

I can’t help be annoyed at these workers although I know they are only doing their job — but they should also be aware that their job has caused my sleep deprivation.

I see my front garden and driveway with its overgrown weeds. Weeds that I decided to poison a week ago. I checked the weather prediction and saw there was no rain forecast, so I mixed up a couple of sprayers of poison and spent two hours spraying the weeds that I can still see, as I look out of my window today.

Why are they still happily growing in my garden? Because three hours after I sprayed last week it poured down with rain. Not for long, just enough to ruin all my hard work.

Thanks weather man for that false prediction of no rain!

I see a number of cars parked across the road and think about the people that parked those cars there earlier this morning. They would have walked the 300 metres down the road to the train station, where they’d normally catch the train into the city. However, because of the maintenance work being performed on the tracks they would have caught special rail buses instead.

I wonder if they were annoyed at having to catch the bus or were they aware of the maintenance today?

I see the glorious blue sky and the wispy, fluffy white clouds, with nary a dark cloud to be seen, although rain was predicted this morning.

Thanks again weather man as I would have poisoned again today, except you falsely predicted rain that did not happen.

I see my youngest son’s white car parked in the driveway and think how lucky I am to still have him living at home at the age of 27. I reminisce on his company and how much he helps me with day to day life. I’m truly blessed and extremely grateful to have such a caring son by my side.

I’m also aware that the time we have together is indefinite as he is considering moving to the US, so I appreciate every second I have with him even more, knowing that any day now it will come to an end.

I see various cars travelling along the road I live on and wonder about their plans and where they are going. Are they happy? I wonder.

I see the houses on the other side of the railway lines and ponder if they too are sleep deprived and annoyed by the noise throughout the night. I think about the lives of the people that live in those houses. Are they alone and lonely or are they surrounded by those they love?

Most of all I see life being lived, when I look outside my double class windows, on a beautiful day and I’m thankful that I’m alive, sleep deprived and all, I’m truly blessed to be here.

Thank you again Nevena for this invite as I rarely remember to look outside my window and feel grateful for the life I’m blessed to witness.

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Originally published on Medium