Welcome to the Jungle.

Let’s be honest. The first day at a new job feels a lot like entering a party where everyone knows each other—and you’re just hoping your deodorant holds up.

You wake up at 5:00 AM even though the office opens at 9. You’ve already ironed your shirt twice. You’ve practiced your “Hi, I’m the new guy” face in the mirror 17 times. You look like a cross between someone going for a job interview… and someone being interviewed for a crime.

The Uber ride is silent. Not because the driver’s quiet—but because you’re internally rehearsing how not to spill coffee on yourself in front of your manager. You finally arrive. Your hands are a little sweaty. Your heart’s doing a salsa dance. You walk in…

…and boom: everyone looks at you like the new kid in school. And suddenly, you're five years old again and forgot your lunchbox.

The Silent Terror of the First “Hello”

You meet your new coworkers. They smile politely. You smile back—except your smile muscles haven’t been this active since 2013. You forget one person’s name the second they say it, and now you’re panicking that you'll call Steve “Stove” for the rest of your career.

You’re shown your desk. It’s clean. Too clean. Like it’s waiting for you to ruin it. Your computer password doesn’t work. The phone rings but it’s not yours. Someone hands you a document and says, “Take your time with this—it’s urgent.”

The Fear of Failing in Front of Strangers

Somewhere in your head, a voice starts whispering:

“What if you’re not cut out for this? What if they find out you don’t know everything? What if the printer jams and you explode it?”

Here’s a fact no one tells you:

Everyone feels this way.

Every colleague you see now, even the confident one with the shiny desk plant, had a moment where they wanted to hide in the supply room. Fear of failure is natural—especially when you're trying to impress. But the truth is, you were not chosen randomly. You earned this job. This is not a prank show. They actually want you here. Probably.

Remember: This Job is Your Harvest

Take a breath. Seriously. Right now—inhale. Exhale.

This isn’t just another Monday. This is the result of your journey—the late-night study marathons, the job interviews where you smiled so hard your jaw cracked, the rejection emails you bounced back from. That moment when you got the “Congratulations, you’re hired” email? That wasn’t luck. That was you.

So, even if you tripped over a chair this morning or called your boss “Mum” by accident (it happens, don’t ask), it doesn’t erase the work you did to be here.

Talk to Yourself Like You Talk to a Friend

Let’s say your best friend was having a meltdown on their first day. Would you say:

“Wow, you’re a failure already.”

Of course not.

You’d say:

“Bro, chill. You’re doing great. You got this. Want a sandwich?”

So why don’t you say that to yourself?

Instead of panicking over your first mistake, remind yourself:

“I survived the interview. That alone deserves a medal.”

“I showed up. I’m learning. I belong here.”

And yes, maybe add:

“Also, don't forget where the coffee machine is.”

Day One is Just That—Day One

You won’t be the new guy forever. Within a week, you’ll know who’s always late, where the best snacks are, and how to restart the printer without summoning a demon.

You’ll laugh at how nervous you were today. One day, you might even help another terrified new hire and say, “Don’t worry, I was just like you.”

The first day is never perfect. It’s a chaotic blend of awkward small talk, Google Calendar confusion, and caffeine. But that doesn’t mean it’s not a victory.

Applaud Yourself

You showed up. You didn’t run. You introduced yourself. You made it to lunch without quitting. You’re doing amazing.

You’re in the right place, even if it doesn’t feel like it yet.

And tomorrow? You’ll do even better—with one less awkward smile and one more confident “Good morning.”