Things to Ask Yourself Before You Start Writing (Capitalistn’t Version)

Hi writers! I’m in awe of so many of you. Sparkling talent lives in fiction, poetry, commentary, it even lives in SEO optimized commission work. Talent is like pneuma; It permeates everything. In that spirit, allow me to share a sentiment, with love: Stop assuming all writing is for consumption! Stop it. Do we realize we’re doing it? Lookup a few writing advice articles, then come back. I’ll wait.

Readers are not crucial to the writing process.

Consider the prime reason a writer exists: When did we decide to swap writing as an artform with writing as a job? Ew. Writers who advise others to write for themselves are the minority. Particularly on big platforms like Medium and in non-amateur writing communities. There is a silent understanding that writing is a professional pursuit, with artistic pursuit being the exception. I want both! Both! Both! Both!

Indulge me in a thought experiment. Would most self-described writers agree with this statement: Good writing is writing that is popular.

No, right? Popular writing can be good writing. “Good writing” is dubious to define, anyhow. So, tell me why the recommendation to think of your reader is near obligatory in advice articles. Please. The assumption of profit motive is coming so naturally it’s automatic. I am exhausted.

This pattern sticks in my craw. “For the reader” is not relevant advice to all writing endeavors. It can be, in fact, bad advice. Good advice is accompanied by a qualifier about the work’s telos. Writing to express yourself does not overlap with writing for a reader. When the two intersect, you find a delightful coincidence and a fulfilled artist. Party. You can even aim for this intersection as an O P T I O N. I’m not sure if I’ve made this clear; The ubiquity is driving me NUTS, not the advice itself.

Your readers DO NOT reflect on you by default.

This is self-evident, but I’ll explain further so there’s no misunderstanding. There is no existential value difference between writing meant to be consumed versus writing that fell from the heart of an artist. If you insist on reading that statement between my lines, I can’t stop you. It is not present. “Write for your reader!” hurts artistic expression in the same way “Write for you!” can hurt popularity. No one is writing just ‘cuz. Every writer doesn’t need to hear the same things.

Creating from the heart is cringey by nature. Oui are trained to think shameless expression is bad; This makes being genuine and unguarded embarrassing. It’s so so hard to ignore this and write for yourself when the toxic little barb of “for your readers!” has found its home in your grey matter. I’m not alone in feeling embarrassed about something I wrote with no intention of sharing. That just makes no god damn sense, right? The advice has hurt me. What a waste of anxiety!

WRITERS ARE ALLOWED TO BE SELF-INDULGENT. I’m doing it now. If you haven’t heard this before, consider this your license.

Now that we’re seeing eye-to-eye, enjoy these things that you should consider before you start writing for no one but you, baby!

Don’t pass judgment on your own ideas before they draw a single breath, you monster.

What was your first instinct? What idea popped into your head to make you feel fired up? Write it down immediately. It is utter folly to land in regret of “What could have been?” when we’re talking about writing for ourselves. It’s free. At worst, you’ll move on. The Burj Khalifa would be the tiny gift shop to the museum of stories I never started. Kinda sucks.

Never abandon an idea you think is neato because “no one will like it.” Don’t do it. I’ll know if you do. I live in your walls. Knockoff Andrew is going on record, right here, right now: I WILL READ ANYTHING YOU ARE PROUD OF. SEND IT TO ME. SEND ME THE GEMS YOU’RE TEMPTED TO PULVERIZE.

Try things that are weird as hell.

I have an idea for a movie that is exclusively made up of establishing shots. I would make it in a heartbeat if I knew anything about cameras, lighting, sets, casting, cinematography, video editing, or microphones. You think I’m kidding? Try me. Venmo me that budget, babe. Treat your writing the same way. Write that goofy idea you can’t shake.

A new Masterclass ad has some man saying “Write like no one is watching!” I need this guy rewriting 80% of the advice articles out there ASAP. THIS is the best writing advice I’ve heard online recently.

“Oh my GOD, that man is [Very Famous Writer]. How do you not know that? You call yourself a writer?” screamed someone ugly. (Hi.)

This is a fair point.

Webster’s Dictionary describes writing as: Writing (noun) — The act of knowing about every famous writer, living or dead.

In this very real sense, I am not a writer. You’re right. Are we good?

Taking a risk is the only way to create something surprising, something horrifying, something delightful. The three selfsame words I would use to describe a Subway teriyaki chicken sandwich.