Things I'd Rather do Than go to Work

I can think of 10 million things I’d rather do than go to work tomorrow. Sure, I'll clock in with a smile on my face and fake my way through yet another eight-hour day. But, if I can be honest with you guys, I’m crying in the bathroom thinking about work. Yup. It’s THAT bad.

I’d rather do anything than go to work.

I’d rather:

• Play Jigsaw’s games
• Push a car stuck in reverse up Lookout Mountain Road
• Clean the morgue
• Step on the itty, bitty-tiny Legos that get stuck between your toes every time I walk.

• Be chased by a rabid wolf.
• Have a conversation with the FBI agent who secretly monitors my Internet usage.

• Date Wanda Jean Allen.
• Become the meat in a semi-truck sandwich on the highway during the mile of lunch rush.
• Make a mad dash over the North Korea border
• Pick up granules of rice with chopsticks from the bottom of a dumpster while standing on stilts

• Live in 1920s Chicago when I owed Al Capone money.
• Take a nap in a hammock in the middle of a Category 5 hurricane
• Eat day-old gas station sushi
• Sit through a 48-hour investigation with FBI Agent Joe Navaro

• Be locked in a real lightless haunted house at 2 a.m.withut a flashlight.
• Ride a Lime scooter tethered with a rope to the bed of a pickup truck down I-25
• Sleep in a cell with Ed Kempur
• Ride a submersible operated by OceanGate Expeditions.
• Shit in my hands and then sing the “If You’re Happy & You Know It” song.
• Spend the day reading letters inmates send to their ‘girlfriends.’
• Sit on a porcupine.
• Piss off Fiddy….50 Cent.
• Be the last person to see another person alive.
• Listen to Paul Mercurio explain college-level Mathematics to a room full of 6-year-olds.
• Proofread a 2,500-page document in search of one non-AP-style comma
• Drink wine with Doretha Punetas.
• Have a face-to-face conversation with the lady whose breath smells like she licks the bottom of public toilets before consuming three daily meals of rotten fish dipped in shit.

The things I’d rather do than go to work might seem far-fetched. I’d agree that I took it waaaaayyy to far with some of those: I’d never want to upset Fiddy.

Subjecting ourselves to work environments unconducive to our well-being is just as outrageous. None of us ‘wants’ to work, but since it's part of most of our lives, it should not cause misery and disrupt our peace every shift. If you get sick feeling in the pit of your stomach when your job is mentioned, it’stime to get out. I took my own advice, and I could not be happier.

Tell me... what are the things you would rather do than go to work? Leave yours in the comment section below.

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