The Unconventional Healer

“I wasn’t born to be anybody’s ‘quientessential’ anything”. Was the sentence that came out of my mouth, as I stood before my 8th grade English class. I recall the subject matter being geared towards what our purpose in this world might be. I’m not really too sure what led me toward’s my dramatic monoglue moment. But I am pretty sure it had something to do with me being fed up with the expectations of the working class, before I could legally even be able to experience it. Not to mention I was almost sure John Hughes was somewhere listening in on me, ready to feel inspired to write another “coming of age” movie. This experience was just a taste of the transformative moment’s I was willing to undergo in order to appreciate, and value my authenticity.

Although 8th grade was a pretty important time for me. I’d like to take a gander further into my child-rearing years. I’m in 3rd grade, attending a Christian academy school, and I am being asked what I want I want to be when I grow up. How fun this question was at the tender age of 8, it really gave you permission to say whatever the hell you want. “I want to be a scientist, comedian, and a gospel singer!” At the time it felt pretty uncomfortable receiving puzzled looks from my peers. But now that I am looking back on it, I’m sure they were just trying to figure out a way to tell me how contradicting those occupations were as a collective. Jokes on them though, when I became internet savvy I had discovered Kelsey Grammar was once a believer in Christian science, and I only added “gospel singer“ to the resume as a little “razzle dazzle” to be in god’s favor. But to be quite honest, it was a very unnerving question, and it was a question that was frequently asked at my age. I was a kid who consumed Adult Swim, HBO, and Comedy Central stand up specials at night, and teachings of the christian faith by day. So you can imagine I grappled a lot with morals, and felt quite ashamed by my inappropriate taste in humor. But I didn’t feel demoralized by the act of consuming those type of shows because I took it at face value for what it was, entertainment. I often got in trouble for watching programs of that nature, and was often told to “stay in a child’s place”. But if anything, I felt like my peers should have been more concerned with whether or not if I had felt mature enough to receive it. Nevertheless, I continued to consume my nightly “Will & Grace”, “Frazier”, and “Family Guy” programs that would ensure an undefeated charm, and unconventional humor that would lead me to my current passion.

As I progressed through my adolescent years I found this charm to be quite useful. I realized I had a natural talent for speaking, and turning somewhat uncomfortable situations into comic relief. Some of these episodic moments had even lead me to form some long-lasting harmonious relationships in my life. People saw my honesty, and occasional vulgarity as vulnerability. Because of this, friends and even strangers felt compelled to reciprocate that same honesty, and it often led to a safe space of people sharing some pretty vulnerable things about themselves. It were those moments in my life that helped validate the maturity I acquired early on. My charm and unconventional humor weren’t my only assets, my genuine nature and unwavering support for those who felt shame were too.

As I forcibly went on to college, I had begun to question what my true passion really was. In High School I was sort of a “Niche” artist. I would be drawn to a lot of subjects and hobbies, and would experience these sporadic short bursts of passion for my chosen interests. I’d stay long enough to be good at it, but never long enough to master it. So the idea of college was very unsettling, and my lack of self-governing led me to believe that I would be a part of this huge stigma surrounding students who constantly changed their majors. I took notice of my very diverse group of friends and their passions. Some were studying to be musicians, artists, and accountants, and I was the outspoken comic who’d occasionally get into debates with incels, and racists over social politics. Reassuring myself of my strengths eventually led me to major in Media Communications and minor in Marketing. I wasn’t interested in being a comedian, nor a politician, so choosing to settle as a communication major gave me much ground to explore, where I could identify even more strengths within my love for banter. I enrolled in many classes from: Music journalism, New Media, and broadcast journalism; my interest eventually started to fizzle out. I started to become aware of certain propograndas that I couldn’t get behind, and eventually got tired of being told that this was just the way things were. Still, I chose to excel, and eventually ended up getting a degree that my grandparents earnestly felt proud of paying for, ignoring this void of passion that had yet to be discovered.

When the Pandemic occured I settled for warehouse work, and quick gigs. My “niche” artist phase had continued to run it’s course. This time I had taken a large interest in astrology, and felt committed to understanding myself a little bit more. I was learning about birth natal charts, and was in complete disbelief. When it came to this subject matter my knowledge had always been surface level, but for the first time I felt compelled to step into mastery. I was dedicating my time towards learning about my houses, degrees, aspects, sidereal, tropical, etc. and when I finally mastered my chart, I offered exploring someone else’s. It started with a co-worker of mine. She had been struggling with her autonomy and Identifying her passion. Whenever she felt like she found an employer she could align with, she’d soon felt disappointed right after discovering their extremist capitalist exploitives, and unfair working conditions. She was like me, working jobs that did not feel conducive to her growth. So together we explored her chart. We laughed, we cried, and we hugged after finding her solution; and instantly I was able to recall a very familiar feeling. Exploring someone else’s chart is a very intimate and vulnerable experience. They are allowing you to uncover traumatic and personal experiences. It felt no different than what I used to do with friends in high shool and college; and strangers at the park or bar. Except it felt like I truly discovered what my purpose was, and that was service to others. I looked at her and told her “You don’t have to be anybody’s ‘quintessential’ anything”. A week later she quit her job to pursue her own business, and a couple weeks afterwards I quite mine. I am happily working as an entrepreneur, interpreting others’ birth natal charts. Using my honesty and unconvential humor to create safe spaces, all the while aiding them in health, financing, and career.