The Freedom of Invisibility

It happened on my routine way back home, passing by a tall building covered in mirrors. There, at the corner where two mirrors intersected, I paused, aligning myself just right—and unexpectedly, I made a new discovery. If I adjusted my stance just right, I could make myself invisible. This phenomenon, scientifically known as "Mirror Occlusion," occurs when two mirrors meet at a 90-degree angle. The light bounces between them in such a way that parts of your reflection disappear, making you seem invisible. The reflected light fails to reach your eyes as expected. I didn’t know the term, nor did I care. All that mattered was the feeling—I was invisible.

In the chaos of the world, people rushing, chasing perfection, drowning in their pursuits and suffering, I found a moment of peace. The noise of engines, horns, laughter, and chatter faded away. For a brief moment, the world felt quiet, new, and untouched. In that space, I ceased to exist. And with me, my troubles, pain, desires—everything faded too. A deep sigh escaped me, a breath of relief in a world that never stops, always pushing, judging, demanding more.

But this moment brought more than just relief. It carried an unnamed feeling. A pause. A chance to step back and become a silent observer in a world that never pauses. A quiet sanctuary amidst the storm of endless motion. Yet, it made me question: is this what my heart has longed for all this time? To disappear? Perhaps, for many, it would be. Haven’t we all, at some point, wished to move on from this life to the next, cradled in the comforting lap of night? A painless goodbye from the world.

I've always believed the best way to control the world’s population would be to invent a drug that lets you leave the world without pain. Many desire death but shy away, fearing the pain it causes. It's not just the physical pain on oneself, but the emotional toll on loved ones too. Yet, in those clouded moments, all that ever occupied my mind was the pain. Is this fleeting pain justified for the freedom it promises? I'm sure not everyone would agree that it's true freedom.

As a child, I dreamt of superpowers—flight, super strength, super speed. Invisibility seemed a power reserved for the supervillains. Like all things in life, that feeling also changed. Somewhere along the way, once a beautiful, imaginative mind transformed into an anxious one. The transition was slow, so gradual that I didn’t notice until it was too late. Trapped in a busy world, always running towards something, my inner world diminished to the four walls that trapped my existence. What once was an endless realm of magical terrains, filled with music, laughter, and games, faded away. I cannot pinpoint when or how, but I always blamed the world.

Now, with this newfound perspective, seeing myself removed from the world’s equation, I realize the blame lies partly with me. The mind that created countless imaginary worlds conjures imaginary problems now. The world continued its circus, oblivious to my absence. I had been so concerned about my image in a world that never cared about me. The burdens I carried, the sleepless nights staring at the ceiling fan, worrying about others’ perceptions of me—all for nothing. Now, in this moment, it all seems laughable. I thought I mattered.

What more revelations can this moment bring? Where are the boundaries of this experience? My heart searches for its newfound desires, yet I worry that in seeking the line between these two worlds, I might lose the peace I’ve found. And so, I’m caught in a dilemma: to stay or to return.

To stay means embracing a world shaped by my own desires—a realm of ultimate freedom, untouched by societal expectations and pressures. It’s a place where time slows, free from all the expectations and judgments. Here, I am unbound, unburdened by the relentless pursuit of meaning or success. In this world, I am the sole architect of my fate. But is this isolation truly freedom, or is it merely another form of escape? A way to shield myself from the inevitable pain and joy that come with being part of the human experience?

To return means stepping back into the flow of life, rejoining the collective rush of existence. It’s a world of routine, of following a predefined path. Yet, within this structure lies the potential for connection, for fleeting moments of joy, love, and shared understanding. Holding on to life means accepting its imperfections and challenges, embracing the highs and lows with equal measure. Realizing that the meaning of life is simply finding happiness in the mundane moments.

And so, the choice looms: to stay in a world of solitude and self-determined peace, or to return to a life of connection, chaos, and the pursuit of happiness. Each path holds its own promises and perils, and perhaps the answer lies not in choosing one over the other, but in finding a balance—a way to move between these worlds, carrying the peace of invisibility into the visible chaos of life.

In the end, perhaps the true freedom is not in escaping the world or conforming to it, but in learning to navigate both realms. To carry the stillness of invisibility within me, even as I step back into the real world. To find peace, not in isolation or in the acceptance of the world’s demands, but in the quiet space between—the place where I can be fully be myself, seen or unseen, at peace with both the world and my place in it.