humor

Workplace witticisms, job jokes and career quips; who says work can't be a laughing matter?

My Brutally Honest CV/Resume
To Whom It May Concern, Work I'm an intelligent employee with continuous brain farts. Give me a new project or a task, explain what I'm supposed to do and watch me stare at you with foggy eyes, my mouth slightly open and a demeanor full of "huuuh?" End up overwhelmingly confused two to three days after, as I deliver what you asked for. I will take fierce pride in my work, be it conquering the markets by a product I hold dear or mucking a horse stall to perfection. I respect my colleagues and give second chances with ease. I have a hard time controlling face expressions when disagreeing. I may burst into wild laughter in the middle of a teleconference and I may not be able to make it stop. Most of my jokes are not suitable for an open office set up. I give credit to others for their work and never miss an opportunity to spare compliments or positive feedback. Be dishonest, treat others unfairly, show disrespect towards the janitor/cleaning lady or try and manipulate me, I will walk out the door.
By Teija Dee8 years ago in Journal
The Price of Education and Teaching: Part VI
I was surprisingly happy that all three districts were offering me a job, and that I could actually choose who to work for. This reminded me when mom asked me if I wanted to go to school or go to work when she and I re-united in the United States, and I chose school even though I had no idea what I'd face. It was the same thing this time; I was going into this teaching world blindfolded and with earplugs in, but both disappeared in a split second. My first interview with the person who'd 'hire me' was like 'starting off on the wrong foot;' I had to wait in the lobby for over an hour because some head custodian had passed away unexpectedly. Then, when somebody finally called me in, the person whom I was supposed to speak to, was talking recipes on the phone, and she totally ignored me for at least twenty minutes; I started feeling very weird and uncomfortable but still waited patiently.
By Martina R. Gallegos8 years ago in Journal
My Adventures as a Pizza Delivery Driver
During the time that I have been delivering pizzas, I have acquired many regular customers. When I first started delivering pizzas, I worked the evening shift and now, since the first of this year, I was put on the day shift. Several of the customers would ask for me to deliver their food to them, when they called the store and placed their order. Although now that I am on the day shift at work, I now have the same thing going on as I did working the evening shift and more regular customers, which is wonderful.
By Rhonda Farley8 years ago in Journal
Funlearn
I was reading about the importance of people having fun recently — hence the title. Well, yes, it may be obvious, people work better, learn better, live better when they have fun. So when and why have we then lost the habit of including fun in our work life (or academic life, for that matter) without feeling guilty about it, as if having fun correlated with work or learning is equal to actually not working and not learning?
By Roxana Radulescu8 years ago in Journal
My Adventures as a Pizza Delivery Driver
If you have ever been robbed of anything before, it is one of the worst feelings in the world. Having said that, my story begins. First of all, let me give you a brief description of what kind of car I deliver pizzas in. My car came from an automotive auction, and the only key that I have ever had to the car is the ignition key. No door key, no trunk key. The right front fender is bent all out of whack and is held on with a zip tie. Also, there is no front grill on my car. Oh, by the way, the car is a Honda.
By Rhonda Farley8 years ago in Journal
Maths (or Math)
Maths (or Math). This word strikes fear into most people or at least it brings up bad memories at school. Memorising times tables, learning equations and algebra which most of us never use.
By Gregory Eze9 years ago in Journal
The World's Most Epic Commutes
For many, the daily commute to work can be an incredible burden. Whether it's by car, bus, subway, walk - getting to work can be a grind.
By Richard Owens9 years ago in Journal
A Day In the Life of a Freelancer
I more or less ended up falling into freelancing quite by accident, even though writing for a living was what I’d always wanted to do. I came to my present job after a half-arsed sending of my CV to a content mill, not even thinking they’d bother to read it—but they did, offered me an interview online and a quick writing test and a few days later I got the job. Sometimes all the planning in the world can’t prepare you for that kind of thing happening.
By Kit Dwyer9 years ago in Journal
My Adventures as a Pizza Delivery Driver
It is the Holiday Time of the year again and I find myself delivering pizzas to the large country music venue hotel. The hotel is beautiful at Christmas time. Millions of Holiday lights are set into place, and all kinds of beautiful outside decorations are placed all around the hotel. The hotel at Christmas time also plays seasonal music for all to enjoy. The valet parking people are all busy running here and there to park and return the hotel guests' vehicles to them. The hotel’s shuttle buses are all decorated with either big stars on the bus with their Holiday outfits on or the other popular bus that the hotel has running during the Holiday season is the famous Grinch bus. The horse and carriage rides are all out in full force, and the hotel adds a security guard right as you are approaching the front of the hotel. This would be the first of many times that I would see this security guard during the busy time of the year.
By Rhonda Farley9 years ago in Journal
I'm Going Back to Cali. Top Story - July 2017.
Los Angeles, California, the city of angels, the place where dreams are made of. It's suc a cliché to say that you want to move to California but I do. The question is, what will I do once I get there? Well, I'm 19 years old so if I were indecisive, I technically have plenty of time to decide. Here's the thing, I already know what I primarily want to do in order to make a living. The problem is that there are so many things I want to do in addition to that. It really shouldn't be much of a problem seeing as there's now easy access to the internet and social media, well there shouldn't be much of a problem in theory. I like to think of myself as a modern day renaissance woman, but I have to overcome some barriers based on the current lack of resources I have.
By Diví Ikpe9 years ago in Journal
My Adventures as a Pizza Delivery Driver
As I get to work one afternoon, not long ago, I find myself traveling across town to deliver another pizza to an apartment complex. Before I left the store that day, it looks like the manager on duty would have told me what was going on with this particular order, but did not. I left the store with a zero amount on the customer's receipt. All the way to my destination, I was wondering why I had a zero amount for this order. Sometimes the store gets extremely busy and the delivery drivers can not handle the overload, so I was thinking this was probably the case. It was not.
By Rhonda Farley9 years ago in Journal
Life Lessons From The First Time Living In An Apartment
Life Lessons From The First Time Living In An Apartment 1 thing for sure, do your own laundry, and purchase your own laundry detergent.
By Heidi Tien9 years ago in Journal