Stupid Employees: Why a Career in Human Resources is the Cure for Liking People, But It Gives You Funny Stories

Disclaimer: The stories you are about to read are real. The names and certain identifiable details have been changed to protect the innocent, the guilt, and the incredibly stupid. If you are easily offended, this may not be the read for you.

What’s Wrong With My Daughter?

Maggie, a 24-year-old new graduate, was being interviewed. She had completed her master’s degree and passed her licensing exam. The hiring manager asked Maggie several questions about how she would treat a patient under various circumstances. For each question, Maggie either did not know what she should do or gave an answer that was not consistent with best practices.

At that point, the hiring manager told Maggie that she was not going to consider her for the job. Maggie was a nice young woman entering her profession, and the hiring manager wanted to make this a mentoring moment for her. The hiring manager explained to Maggie what her concerns were, why the answers given were not consistent with our expectations, and gave her some advice on preparing for future interviews.

After Maggie left, the hiring manager called me to tell me that she did not want to hire Maggie and explained what happened in the interview.

About an hour later, I got a phone call. An angry woman on the other end of the phone told me that she was Maggie’s mother. She went on to tell me that her daughter came home from the interview in tears, because the hiring manager told Maggie she was not getting hired and told her all the things she did wrong in the interview. Mom said that Maggie clearly was qualified and knew what she was doing since she had graduated and passed her licensing exam. She went on to tell me that the hiring manager was very rude, and that we should fire her, because we should not employee someone in management, who does not recognize a qualified applicant and who would treat an applicant that way.

Normally, my response would be that her daughter is an adult, so I cannot discuss employment decisions with her. However, I realized that was not going to make the situation better (or make her go away).

I thanked Maggie’s mother for letting me know that her daughter had a negative interviewing experience and told her that I would follow up with the hiring manager. I explained that while I understand her disappointment, the decision had been made that we will not be hiring her daughter, and I wish her good luck in her job search.

After I got off the phone with Maggie’s mother, I called the hiring manager and said she made the right decision. I told her about the call, and we had a good laugh over it. That was my first (but definitely not my last) experience with a helicopter mom wanting her child the never experience any disappointment.

Why Would You Think I Worked There?

Sidney had been interviewed, and the hiring manager made her a job offer contingent on a background check. I contacted Sidney’s previous jobs to verify her employment. I called Company A and was told that she never worked there. When I checked her license, I found that Sidney was not even licensed in that state at the time she stated she worked at Company A in a licensed position. Company B, where she worked for two years according to her application, said that Sidney worked there for two months.

At that point, I called Sidney and informed her that I was rescinding the offer, because she falsified her application. This was the conversation:

• Sidney: I never said that I worked for Company A. The interviewer and I were just talking about that company during my interview, but I did not say that I worked there.
• Me: But, your application says you worked there.
• Sidney: Someone must have written some notes on the application, because I didn’t put that there.
• Me: There is a whole section on your application: name and address of employer, supervisor's name, pay rate, dates of employment, job title, duties, and reason for leaving... all filled out... in the same handwriting with the same ink as the rest of the application.
• Sidney: I don't know where that came from because I never said that I worked there.
• Me: Well, I’m sorry, but I have to rescind the offer. Good luck with your job search.

Really? Still going with that story? She was caught in a lie, so she thinks lying more in a way that makes absolutely no sense is going to help her? No, just no.