Shelter Living

If you don’t know me, I am Carolyna the Rambler. I am here to share my life experiences and that is what my articles are all about, experiences, wonders, and my own opinions. I believe in being open and honest and by sharing my views you may or may not get an insight of what other people you may know but don’t dare to ask what they are going through or their experiences.

What do you mean you are staying in a shelter? Yes, I am staying in a 5 Star shelter, instead of 5 Star Hotel it's a shelter. It's super clean and we get a bed, we get fed, we get laundry done and there's no chores, wow, seriously?

Yes, however what I mean is that we share a large room the size of a large laundromat with 32 people (bunk beds with drawers) with two adjoining rooms with about 10 people in each and share two large restrooms and a small TV room with a total of 6 showers each separated with a curtain. And have staff on the floor 24/7, they do wellness checks every 30 min-1 hour. The staff do our laundry once a week and any emergency laundry if needed. According to government policy, we are not allowed to use outlets, of course you have some that are rule breakers (not me), but we have to go to staff every time we need our phones or computers charged or any other electronic devices. It can be a challenge to get our devices as it gives some staff power trips if they don’t get along with people they withhold access or start an argument with other clients.

Example my device charging experience because of difficulty sleeping,I tend to read a lot at night by using my phone or IPAD hence needing charging it and using the computer to work to get out of this situation, and need my devices charged of course, so I walked up to the counter and asked “ Hi, can I please get my devices charged”? (And this is at 11:30 PM at night). Staff is sitting on the chair and looks at me and says “ You are being disrespectful, I am writing you up”(in an extremely hostile tone). Me, huh? Instead of starting arguing or debating I asked for them to call the supervisor, their response was “ I am not calling the supervisor for you” (unless dayshift or emergency, that is what they should be doing). Me; okay,

So I went to the supervisor, got my devices approved to be charged and told me to inform the staff of it as well. Back on the floor I started saying; the supervisor and I got interrupted and staff tells me I am being disrespectful and swearing and now being racist towards them, again in a hostile tone. And all other staff know me and that I am definitely not that type of person and don't behave like that, and this staff person I have never even met before so there's no previous interactions. This is an example of power trip, where staff can control and create situations that don’t exist, just to set you up by writing you up and if you get three write ups you get kicked out of the shelter.

And all we can do and that staff tells us to do is write a grievance if we get mistreated in any way. Of course in this instance I did write one but it took a couple of days because of the hostility they used. It was literally terrifying to just sleep because what if they made up stuff and said I was doing things while I am sleeping and writing me up. And having PTSD and triggers in this situation is not helping. (my trigger I tend to go completely go mute).

But we all have to be mindful living in a shelter we come across all walks of life, and sadly not everyone have the knowledge of basic common decency or respect for people, is often their way or the highway for some people, and translate the rules what they think it means instead of asking questions or asking for clarification.

It’s definitely interesting to live in a shelter and unless you're in a wheelchair or have a physical disability or are pregnant you can’t get a thick mattress instead you sleep on a yoga mat type of mattress on a metal bed, incredibly hard. And food there is no food accommodation even if you have food restriction unless there’s donation food that usually have salad you pretty much have to starve because the food on all meals that are served entail soy and wheat and there's a lot of gluten in all meals. (Meals on Wheels) And just imagine most seniors are served this food and it’s like baby food mashed up and either overcooked or undercooked, and can not be very good or healthy for seniors or people with food restrictions. My food experience is that my dog eats better than me, I can eat maybe 3 if I am lucky I can eat 4 meals out of 7 days and 2 meals a day because of having a lot of GI issues, so when there’s donated food sometimes that’s when I can eat but it’s all about timing so not always lucky, it can be a hit or miss, it’s life, what can we do.

So living in a shelter you have a lot to be mindful about, and knowing what someone is going through by living in a shelter you as their friend or family may be able to be more supportive, because living in a shelter you come across many different people with all sorts of life and or health problems and we can’t judge because everyone is different, so what I learned is that if we can vent to someone and or share experience it helps not to bottle emotions up, because when it becomes overloaded that’s when most people explode and in some cases it can turn violent, therefore if you can and have time to listen to your family member or friend help them all you need to say say really is “I hear you, I am not living there or I am not in your situation and never been in a situation like that and can’t imagine what it’s like, but I hear you, I am here for you”. That is all you have to say unless you know what to say or add but most people don't like to get involved so this is an easy response without getting involved, just hear people out.

What you can do if you know of local posting boards is ask for donations like clothes, shoes, and protein healthy ready cooked hot or cold meals for shelters and give them the address. In that way you can support them by helping because most shelters' donations are very limited.

Personally I feel very lucky to have gotten shelter, because there’s a lot of people that don’t have shelter and even if I can’t eat everyday, I still feel blessed because it’s a choice end of the day as it’s eat and have GI issues and not be hungry or be hungry and not have GI issues and pain, I rather not be in pain so really it’s all a choice.

Whatever we do and however we behave in the common bed area, that is a choice we make, some choose to be loud, some choose quiet and respectful, it’s up to us to live by example to one another.

I appreciate that the government is helping me with shelter. I am very thankful, and knowing I am doing everything I can do to get out of the shelter is hard work not easy.

When people lives in a shelter, they taken the step and want a normal life and that’s where the community (individuals not organizations) should come in and be more involved I believe, if there were mentors or some type of guidance like a friend program that could help look out for one another knowing if there’s a job opening in a company or know of available rooms for rent because often times people in shelter or on streets do get an SSA or SSI check ( not me) and just need guidance and help to solve financial issues to build and or repair their credit score, but could also learn basic life skills as some don't have that.

When I had an SRO for example I helped out an elderly lady for 4 months, I bought a cot for her to sleep on so during the day it could be folded up. And I helped her by listening to her so she could vent and I helped her by guiding her to job resources and bought her food on the weekends. Point is I didn’t have much to offer but I still offered and was able to help her get back on her feet and get her own place, because if we are struggling it’s much harder to get off or avoid the streets or shelter. And if we can we should be there for one another. Reach out, people are not as scary as they seem, that is one thing I learned about people on the street, as I always thought they were scary as most have sour expression on their faces, but who wouldn’t if your struggling or are on the street, a simple hi and a smile goes a long way.

We Need To Spread Love, Laughter, Compassion for one another.

Carolyna the Rambler is a Facebook page where you can also add resources or message me resources to post just the name State/ Country and city/ town it’s related to. If you like to share your experience you can record it through zoom and send me a copy of the video where you share your life experience or specific topic or if you like an interview type of video, we can set up a time and it will be posted on the page.

Point of Carolyna the Rambler is to share and build a good healthy positive online community and offline with other true and honest people to build up our strength and outlook on life and if we can help people in need, so, why not do it.

VOCAL is a platform for Carolyna the Rambler to spread the words of wisdom of true life events, resources because many of us have no idea what some of the life challenges are, and sharing Carolyna the Ramble FB page here on VOCAL is a great start for change. Please share if you can.