My Polarized Shades Entered Me to a Different World

Me and Dad had somewhere to go and the ride was roughly around 2 hours or more before we reached our destination. We rode along the S-LEX in our SUV certain to have a great time.

This was a form of bonding for us. When we take long rides like this one, we talk about cars (because that's what he cares about and they're relatively easy to spot when riding in one) and the apartment business we have.

In particular, I was not too fond of cars and I don't hate it but I never had the tendency to enjoy it until it was something that engaged conversations with me and Dad. Until I found out that cars could excite me, as well. It felt stupidly exhilarating whenever I saw a Jeep car passing by.

I don't even know what I like about it exactly, but I had a series of hours scouring the internet to understand more about this type of car and how much it would cost--Which from someone about to graduate college, seems too ambitious of a plan.

Anyway, I was pacing myself thinking about when I would pick up the neck pillow and give myself a good rest. (It's one of the things I like doing while vibing in the passenger seat.)

I confessed about this to Dad in a handwritten letter, during Father's Day. The world as the car moved, felt like a show being broadcasted to me in 4D. I enjoyed being an audience, seeing people, cars, and establishments whenever I rode one.

Along the way, Dad told me that if I forgot my shades, I could use the one he had on the case inside the car to protect my eyes from the sun's glare.

Well, what he didn't know is I intentionally left the accessory because it didn't suit my aesthetic. So, I just nodded.

After a few lapses, he clicked on the case, and lo and behold black and white sunglasses, taken out and were directly given to me.

I didn't want to hurt his intentions, so I put it on. Boy, do I hate the tint on them.

But, I settled in, and I left wearing it with a sweet memory. I realized that Dad cared for me, in ways he didn't know how to show.

A day earlier, we had a fight over the texts. I didn't like a certain aspect he did that flared up my irritability. I had the tendency to get crazy when stressed out. It happens when a series of changes occur and I'm not prepared to face them. I have bipolar disorder so, it's a frequent thing.

He, being the man he is, did a bit of guilt-tripping over the text and of course, I had to combat him with another mean thing to say. But, we ended up making up. We don't really fare well with discussing things in serious detail. He sat down with me and told me about his weaknesses and how things are difficult for him too.

It was a continuous struggle to balance our finances and to leave emotions inside the basket.

Before Mom left, we didn't have a good relationship either so, we had to make effortful adjustments. Even if it feels like we're stuck with each other around it's still much better this way than not having him beside me.

I just looked around inside the car, making a smug face with my polarized glasses on, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with grace upon realizing what had happened.

I didn't just wear the glasses, it felt like I entered a new world too. I suddenly felt special to my Dad.

The days as recent, felt like a response from my Dad to earning back my trust. It feels a little bit more warm around, a little bit more bearable, and a little bit more special--our bond together.

I loved my Dad harder that day because he re-taught me one of the best feelings that I ever learned this year and it's loving the feeling of being a human.

You won't find anything else like this around. It's the best that is available all the time, all year round.