Memories: 6 June 2025

6 June 2025

7:52 am. I just woke up, the hose had detached from my cpap mask and I was snoring. Luckily I was still getting air or I could have suffocated. Fml.

Anyway, I woke up from a very beautiful dream about going to an opera or play. The actors were mostly male and very fat and very gay but sublimely talented. I had a small part in it and when I exited the theatre I danced behind another slimmer actress and instead of curtseying, I spread out my v shaped tails behind her so we both looked like a bee. Weird but funny! Everyone laughed so I kept doing it all the way out the theatre.

Then the dream showed me that another male actor had asked the director to kiss his friend’s daughter as she was the daughter of someone very famous and it would be a thrill. The daughter of “Ankhor” or someone.

The very gay director beamed with pride and pouted his fat lips. I yelled out “Hash tag consent” passionately and indignantly, as the young female actress looked mortified. Everyone laughed goodnaturedly, but I was actually serious. Selling out a young woman just because her father is Famous for some kind of amusement is not okay…even for a very obviously gay fat older Director.

So another older man came and kissed his fat lips and then his nose instead. I said “Oh that’s sweet! That must be his partner!”

I “danced” down the hall outside the theatre. (It looked a bit like QPAC!) and felt happy and triumphant. Mama T protecting the young woman like a Queen (as I do!)

Again it was a happy dream with lots of red and gold brocades and golden light. It felt like real life. (Except for me acting in a play as I can never remember lines etc or song lyrics so that would never happen!) I felt like I was a very accepted member of the theatre, highly respected and greatly loved. I felt triumphant and excited about my performance in the play. It was lovely!

I just spoke to Jarrod who told me that it’s interesting that I dreamed of Tudor-style costumes and heavy red and gold brocade or the Shakespearean theme in the dream play as he looked at a unit to rent on Monday that was in a complex called “Stratford Gardens” and was built in a Tudor style!

Phew! The Tanya is not so crazy after all but tuned into my friend.

The part about famous actors and directors is my daughter Crystal being an accomplished actor often mingles with famous actors and directors, of course. So there I go…

I am not working on my cuff today. After last evening’s failure when the rivet popped off while I was hammering to set the stone…I need a mental health break from that project.

It’s a gloriously sunny day. I need a shower (still not dressed yet, in my nightie!) and to put the birdies outside and to chill the fuck out! :-)

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https://youtu.be/9H2N4a5vjzw “Kermie Freedom”

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Glorious sunset. Shabbat Shalom Kulam!

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Ramjetting at my favourite Club…gooo Brooklyn Standard!

6 June 2024

I had another lovely day. I spent a few hours listening to YouTube videos while cutting up limes and separating the pith for my cleaning vinegar.

Then I took Charley for a walk and we stopped by for a quick visit with Rosie. Then we came home and I made my daily vlog for YouTube.

Tomorrow I have an appointment for my lung function test. Kinda dreading it but I am sure it will be okay.

6 June 2023

10.05 am lying in bed. I woke up at 8 am. I got up and soaked Beauregard’s paws in vinegar and water. He has something wrong causing lots of itchiness and biting on his paws.

I also finished off painting the Protectaclear on my sign and one of the display copper tubes.

My tooth that needs a root canal is feeling tight. So I will need to follow through and ask for an emergency voucher. But I have a hair appointment today at 1 pm.

I am hoping the tooth settles down as it only started hurting on Monday but not too badly, but I think it’s going to be a problem.

I feel exhausted but that is not surprising as I have pushed myself hard since I saw the dentist last Wednesday.

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6 June 2021

I broke my jump ring on my clasp so had to make a new one and managed (a fluke!) to solder it on, on the second attempt as the first one melted!

I got so excited about my successful Soldering job, I tried soldering a chain but alas no luck, burnt several links. So had to give up!

But I am Thrilled I rescued this clasp and am re-threading my tree of life spoon pendant and the skull beads etc back onto it as it’s one of my favourite pieces but the wire breaks periodically from the weight! I might have to buy beading cord and knot them all on like with pearls. (Next project the next time it snaps!)

6 June 2020

I took Charlie and the Beau for a walk. We stopped to visit the Scott family. Little Winston gifted me a container of freckles chocolates as an in-joke about my teasing him that I only eat chocolate for dinner. So they bought me “chocolate for my dinner”. No vegetables. I hate vegetables. (although in truth I have been eating lots of them lately. Lol!)

I went home and brought back lots of little terracotta pots as Al creates a succulent garden and I noticed he uses terracotta pots and I have a surplus. So he was happy to receive them. I gave him a Chinese jade bush as well.

It feels good to share my abundance with new friends in the neighbourhood and it was lovely of them to bless me with chocolate too!

Yesterday when I stopped to say Hello to Pete he also gave me a Moser Roth bar of delicious white chocolate. He asked if I like white chocolate and I replied that when it come to chocolate I am partial to all the different shades of the rainbow.

I feel much loved and supported by all my beautiful friends.

I came home and and bathed the dog as I changed all the bed linen on both beds today (to recover my electric blanket from Socks’s bed!). I thought it might be more soothing to my nerves if we were all clean before we climb into our clean sheets tonight!

Socks was unimpressed having his bedding stripped completely and remade. So he went under the house to sulk in his new pet bed I bought for him, especially for sulking times like these.

He’s a happy little Sulker.

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Another busy day is over. I finished off the afternoon and evening by cooking dinner, made another pair of earrings, sewed a hem on the curtains on the bookshelves.

Now they are a bit short so I will have to add a frill of some kind. Grrr. Not good at sewing. But I did a good job of the hem. Sorta kinda.

I had to wing it a bit at I had not cut them off evenly. But I was determined to hem them so they don’t hang like rags so now they are shortened hemmed rags. Gevalt.

I did lots of washing (and hanging out of the washing) as well. It was lovely outside under the fulsomely full rich moon.

I have put the electric blanket on but it does not seem to be working. So that was a waste of effort swapping it over and putting it back on my bed. Oh well at least the bed linen is clean!

The dog got bathed and semi-brushed. Lots of aggression on his part. He hates being brushed and went berserk when I clipped his nails. It was awful. But he is sorted now. Along with the house!

6 June 2019

I had a lovely lunch with Lyn at the Carina Leagues Club. Some very friendly (albeit intense!) man named Kevin, came to sit with us and chatted to us.

He seemed quite sweet so Lyn and he even had a dance together. They are both excellent rock and roll dancers. So that was a bit of harmless fun in the afternoon. I didn’t dance as I prefer my Tribalist Acting-Out Performance moshing I do at the Livewire bar. (That way I keep myself safe, sane and unencumbered.)

So I sat back and enjoyed watching everyone having a lovely time. It is always a nice atmosphere there if you can tolerate the country-western music.

Afterwards we sat in my garden while we were stalked by a curious black hen, a bored and fractious Lorikeet and a dog obsessing over his ball. It struck me that this is my truest happiness. Good friends, fresh air, a cup of tea, my fur and feathery babies and my gorgeous friends.

I adore you!

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Watching The Handmaid’s Tale, Season 3.

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Update: I ended up throwing it out as it kept slipping. A pity.

6 June 2018

The weather is about to go sour. I can feel it in my lower back which is now grinding and my belly which is echoing the lower back. The wind is coming up and the sunny sky is darkening.

Weird weather lately. Starts off bright and beautiful and optimistic then by midday (actually 1 pm here) turns morose and lacklustre like a malcontent in a line at Centrelink.

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I have had 3 calls from those weird Chinese scammers today. Raving away in Chinese asking for money. Why do they keep spamming me?

The sea monkeys (con artists, family court and bastard ex husband took my money) decades ago and I don’t even speak Chinese.

They seem overly obsessed with calling me under different numbers.

Annoying shits!

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I have to go for my debrief this arvo. Don’t. Want.To.Leave.House.Today. Grrrrr. But it is only half an hour...this too shall pass.

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We did the initial memory test. I passed 30/30 questions. But we are still going to have the brain scans done as after many many years of psych meds and the history of my mother dying of Alzheimer’s there is still a one in ten chance that I could develop dementia.

So hopefully all is well with my brain. I will continue with my psychotherapy and my rare self-medicating of cannabis. (Which staves off Alzheimer’s and assists with c-ptsd).

Psy sighs. It’s a long journey, this life! But today is the first day of the rest of my life. Breathe in breathe out. Rinse and repeat and try to smell the roses.

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Watching The Stolen Which is set in NZ in 1800s. Very good.

6 June 2017

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Jarrod and I watched The Conjuring 2 last night. A very creepy movie especially as it is based on actual events.

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For those of you whom Know my former daughter. Jarrod informed me that she has marked herself as safe but had no idea about the recent terrorist attacks as she slept through all the hubbub. Noice. The future incubator of my unborn descendants is safe to go forth and multiply. No blackmail necessary. Lmao!

Mummy Dearest (the unloved one) has realised she has not one but two young roosters. So there will be babies of the feathery fluffy kind and I will not be nailed to the ground by my feathered offspring.

They don't threaten to love you conditionally. They just match/hatch/dispatch according to the laws of the Universe without regret or resentment. Silky Mummas are the best!

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6 June 2016

Pomegranate seeds were sweet, juicy and exploded in my mouth. Like Skittles only natural, full of vitamins and minerals and natural Sugar. Yum!

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You can't think great thoughts without great food in your guts. Feeling inspired after my Lindt chocolate, my siesta and now my fructose fiesta!

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Well I was riding high atop the mast of Capt Ahab's reckless ship of the wild winds, even took my very playful agitated determined hypomanic Beauregard to the dog park.

There I met an old school friend of Crystal's, Shona. With her two little dogs Campari and Soda. Beauregard had a lovely little playful romance with Soda while Campari chased a ball! She left soon after so I made Beau run around the entire dog park twice.

It was blustery and freezing! I had a nice little prayerful meditation on a wooden bench. Then took the Beau home.

Suddenly Capt Ahab fell off his perch, the masthead came crashing down!! I went to bed and slept for 2 hours!

Now up and at 'em. Ready for another night. Beauregard still mad. Mama serene but still weary. I tucked up Helga back in the coop with the other chicks babes. The wind has dropped and the Air is fresh, crisp and much calmer.

I might make some dinner!

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OMG lol! A clown nose has exploded all over the floor. I don't know how Bobo found it. Crystal will be so pissed off. Now I need to source a new Clown Schnozzy Wozzy!

6 June 2015

Last night was wonderful. There was so much love in the room. I felt sexy, powerful, valued and beautiful.

I had so many interesting moments. Dave came to stare at me all night. Even when his gf joined him he still watched me. I love that man so much but I refuse to let him break me down.

I have told him to stay the Fuck away from me. I am sick of his games. He's not doing a great job of it but in time I will heal.

True Love never dies and is never wasted. It just transmutes or goes deep like a seed, buried in shit and then unexpectedly it will push out into the sunshine again, to evolve into a spectacular Blossom, sacred, aromatic and blissful. Inspiring others to never give up as the moment of unfurling is not yet ripe.

One of my former friends came to tell me that she was very proud of me, as she worked out who he is, and she too, had noticed he couldn't take his eyes off me. I said “I am Done. It's all good”.

She reminded me of my advice I gave to her when her former lover stalked her. I hadn't liked the look of him or his behaviour towards her so I said to him, "There is nothing worse than yesterday's leftover Stale Porridge".

I laughed. I said, “I remember saying that”. She said, "It really helped me. Remember Stale porridge!" This was very odd coming from a woman who colluded with Lana and has been a sworn enemy for 8 months.

She does know how much I love him though. She was in my life at the time, one day when she heard me speak to him for an hour on the phone. Until recently he would speak to me for almost 3 hours!!! Which is how he tricked me into thinking he wanted me in his life. Lmao!

Oh well, this little pudding made stale porridge look very very Bland last night. Him and his grotty gf who had the nerve to approach me and ask me, where I bought my skirt?!

Poor woman has no idea. My fucking Mojo is NOT in the clothes I wear or my jewellery or my shoes. It is in my Spirit. I was born with most of it, the rest I had to fight for. When you live your life expecting to die from either illness or misadventure your entire life, you Become....Me!

Love me or Hate me but don't be jealous of me. Being envious of a trauma patient has got to be the most sick, evil, perverted thing in this world.

It is envy that lets people violate the pure innocent bodies of small children, envy that rots minds and souls and turns hearts to dust, envy that makes tongues black and breath fouled. Turns people into liars, cheats and thieves.

We are all Light Beings. Don't steal my Light! Turn your own On. Let it shine. Better yet, let me celebrate with you as you Shine forth in your own unique talents, joys, dreams,manifestations. That is what makes a beautiful community, no competition, no envy, build up the Fallen, dust them off, let them blossom. Everything has its Season. This is my final Blossoming before I descend into old age.

For the young their first nascent Blossoms, so tender and so full of trepidation.

For the last of the late Bloomers, we are the Wise Ones, who Inspire, perspire, require that we all depend on each other to create a Garden of Eden instead of broken bloodstained raped arid lands of death and destruction.

Breathe in, breathe out! We got this!

6 June 2014

Yesterday the beautiful Jo, and her friend Laura took me out to the casino and the pub. We danced and sang and drank, and I mostly danced, and we joined up with Steph who was rather bemused being in the company of three gorgeous sexy wild women. We all had a great night dancing and having fun.

Later in the night I was surprised to see my daughter Crystal with a group of friends at Irish Murphy's. I'd had no idea she was even there. What a hoot! She was happily dancing with her mates so I went back to my friends and the party continued.

Jo and I went back to her place around 1 am. We were both happy but exhausted. I slept in my black top and underwear but took off my bra so it wouldn't dig into me while I slept.

So when I woke up at 12.30pm, Jo and her daughter (also called Crystal!) drove us back into the city as Crystal had work, and I needed to get home to the cats. So as they were pressed for time, I said, "I'll come into the city with you". All good.

So I get in the car and I put my black bra on my lap, thinking to put it in my bag when we arrive. My going-out shoulder bag doesn't hold much. So we arrive in George Street and Crystal pulls over. Jo and I get out of the car.

I stand up and start complaining about what a wreck I look. No makeup, not even brushed my hair, wearing the same clothes from last night.

A guy across George street looks at me and starts laughing, as Jo peremptorily hands me a hair brush and I lope across the street, studiously dragging the brush through my hair. I get to the other side of the street, and I notice the guy almost red in the face laughing.

FFS, I think. What is his problem? I almost (thank G-d I didn't!) went up to him and asked him what he was laughing at (I mean, I'd done my hair!!!!) So I decide to ignore him. Just some random guy in the street, not important, blech! So I walk down the street with Jo, on our way to buy shoes for her.

I'm happily marching along beside her, with my characteristic stomp, when I felt something flinging at my right leg. At first I thought it was the long tassels on my bag but this felt slightly heavier. So mid-stomping along the Queen Street Mall, I look down to investigate and OMG!

There hanging by one of its own hooks, clinging to one of the suede tassels of my bag, hanging full-length and flying in the air every time I lift my schmendrick foot, is my fucking bra, full length, hanging down my leg (black against the maroon bag, and my aqua silk skirt) completely visible for all to see.

I turn to Jo, and say "FFS Jo, I've just reached a new all-time low". She looks and nearly pees herself laughing. I quietly and gingerly grab the offending article and wedge it into my bag and we keep shopping.

Then just before we head back to the pub, I have my leather jacket slung over my shoulder (which is how I roll!) and I'm still braless (cos I figured I'd put it back on at the pub toilet!) and again I am stomping along beside my tiny petite blonde friend, feeling awesome and holding court about some idiosyncratic story of no real importance and I see another young man walking in the crowd towards us and I think "Oh God, what now!"

I look down to observe with some wry amusement, that he had been looking at my breasts and while suitably attired yet free-balling under my black top, my right lung protector, was handsomely heaving up and down so basically what he saw was a well protected left breast under my leather jacket and bouncy bouncy heave heave of my right breast under my top. (Probably...my nipples were hard too, it was...well, a bit nippy outside!)

So I think oh gees, it's not like I've never gone without a bra before. In fact I went braless for two entire years between 2005-2007, and I was a much larger woman back then and it didn't worry me at all.

So I just shrugged it over my shoulder (the shame, not the breast, the breast was just doing its thing, being a mammary gland under my top!) So Jo and I meet up with Laura and I've had enough displays of Schmuckdom for one afternoon, so I finally go and put my bra on. Oyyyy.

Tonight we are going out again. Must remember to keep my wares under wraps! Oh and the spiritual message of my story? Wherever ye be, let your boobs run free, but don't get caught with your bra down. Freedom to the People, and happiness!

Signed Tanya Arons PHDL, OS (PHD in LIFE and Official Schnorrer.)

6 June 2011

I'm so happy. Liz did my hair and I feel rejuvenated again. Woohoo! I feel pretty, oh so pretty....

6 June 2009

I am over housework...I may never do it again as long as I live...ugggggh…but I’ll outlive the damn housework and it will inevitably suck me into its infinite vortex and I will have to submit to the notion of cleanliness even though I don't like the idea.

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Happiness is a clean house and ordered mind and owning an electric blanket. Even my dog adores the new innovation of a warm bed to climb into...she makes orgasmic humanlike groans every night when we go to bed...so if it's good enough for my little doggess goddess, it’s good enough for me.

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By the way On the Eighth Day Hashem invented Electric Blankets and although they probably leave a carbon imprint on the ecology of the Planet...it's the closest thing to Heaven I've been in 15 years....sigh!

Copyright Tanya Désirée Arons