Memories: 12 May 2025

12 May 2025

7:47 am Good morning. It’s been raining but golden rays of sunshine are reflected off my ugly grey painted neighbour’s house. So a bright blessed morning after all. What joy, delight and Magick can The Tanya receive/achieve and transmit today? We’ll see!

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Oooohhhh…my silver arrived. Now I can make that bezel and I pray…ooohhh I pray…this time it will be a success!

12 May 2024

12:26 am 12 May: home from a wonderful night of dancing. I kept my promise not to headbang my neck but I still managed to have a wild old time.

No one else danced with me so I did my usual performance art ham and it was intense and cathartic (even without my usual neck breaking full mosh!)

I am lathered in sweat but all good. I needed that intense exercise.

Grateful happy Mama T here!

I met a woman in the ladies who said she was tempted to dance but she was too shy as there were hardly any people there. I told her she could have joined me and had fun anyway. I told her “I do this every weekend and you need to learn the Art of Not Giving A Fuck or you will never have any fun at all!”

I told her I am always exhausted by the end of the night but I push myself back out there every weekend as otherwise I would have no fun, except for dancing wildly and joyously as I do to live bands.

(Yes, I do make a damn fool of myself…and no. I don’t care! lol)

I told her I dance primarily for me, and if someone else enjoys it and feels inspired to dance too, then that makes me happy. Music (and The Dance!) is Life. We weave our own personal Magick via our creativity. I am blessed that I can still do this.

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Yesterday was a very powerful, loving, happy day. Today is Mothers Day. I brought forth the second fruit of my womb on Mothers Day back in 1987. So today is a day of great love but also great concomitant grief for me.

The estrangements from both my own mother and now daughters. Caught in the middle between two generations of hatred and/or indifference of The Tanya.

But last night I danced wildly and joyously and was immersed in so much love. Grateful happy woman here! Music, wildness, joy and the Magick carefully and preciously woven like a tapestry of Life by the Great Master of the Mystery, silken golden threads carefully constructed by my beautiful talented soul kin.

How we shone in our intricacy and intimacy! Warp and wefts, clean and clear. No snarls, no grisly entanglements except perhaps that infamous “spooky action at a distance”. A deep love and resonance, even if I do scare the uninitiated lmao.

A gift that keeps giving and lights up the World and brings soul nourishment to the desecrated and broken but kintsugied hearts and minds.

Happy Mothers Day. May it bring sweetness and fond happy memories when the Times and souls actively chose to be kind. Amen

12 May 2023

On and off throughout the day I heard “surprise!” What surprise? I am not expecting any surprises? Spirit tries hard not to roll their eyes at me (thousands of eyessss).

“Well Tanya, it’s not a surprise if we tell you what the surprise is…innit?!” Okay okay, I reply and I keep grinding my opals (grinding my overblown overenergised sick body and Supranaturally strong spirit’s gears!) Spinning on a wheel, on a dime in a moment in Time!

So I decided after all my hard work today to buy myself some dinner to be delivered by Uber Eats …surprise!!!!

“… No no that’s not it, Dumbarse!” Okay okay but look here I don’t like being teased or tormented by invisible entities. Seriously. It’s not always appropriate. Work with me Babies!

Laughter amongst the Sephirot. “I love you!” 🙂

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Hah! Polishing up my round silver Ingot I noticed it has “NY” melted into it. Interesting! Who do I know in New York? Some of the silver that went into this derived from a beautiful napkin ring someone in my Jewish community gifted me at Pesach. But that had markings from South Africa…a gazelle with two rifles from the “Lewis Guns” but today we are deciding to be in a New York State of Mind 🙂

#titaniasrealm #sterlingsilveringot #whenyoubelieveinsynchronityitfindsyoueverywhere #magickhappens #IamweirdIknow #anointedbythegodsbutnotalwayswillingly

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9:38 am I am drinking mullein tea to try to stave off a chest infection. I woke up at 8 am which is ironic as I sleep less when I am sick and need the rest the most. Incongruent as ever!

I worked hard the past week: soldering my gumnut babies with their bails I made from twisted Sterling wire turn the past two days, polishing my Boulder opal! I am

Happy with my results and the fruits of my hard work. :-)

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1:05 am I got beset by a sudden coughing fit and an urge to purge. I had to make a mug of mullein tea to settle down the coughing/vomiting spasms that came out of nowhere. I have been ill for two days but there was minimal coughing…until tonight.

I worked hard at polishing my Boulder Opal which I completed at 8 pm (11th May). Exciting! But I really pushed myself hard, given I had a head cold.

Oh well, time to sleep. Laila Tov!

12 May 2021

12:26 am. Here comes the storm! I better get to bed so I can lie there and listen to the rain and watch the lightning create weird shadows in my room.

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Epic wild storm here. I left my car boot open and had to dash out with an umbrella to close it. I worried Thor might zap me but he was kind....as usual.

12 May 2020

I just had a nap as am utterly exhausted, but am now on a walk with Beauregard and Charlie as it makes them happy!

12 May 2019

Happy Mothers Day to all the women who birthed their babies and loved them. To all the women who never birthed their babies but nurtured others throughout their lives in beautiful kind nurturing ways. To all the women who fought for new ways of existing against insurmountable odds and birthed new ideas, new nations, new paradigms.

To those who were not loved or supported or protected and were betrayed by society and men so many times that their inner mother died inside them.

I salute you. I honour you. I love you.

Being a mother is intrinsically tied up with being female. We are gifted this pretty trite little day to make us feel vaunted and happy on a set day each year. But being a woman and a mother is every day of every year. Giving when we are tired or broken or beaten or lost. Then healing ourselves so we can give some more.

The divine feminine is rising. Not because she should have to. But because she brings peace and light and balance back to this corrupt and perverted world. She was always there. Unseen, as how the male gods liked to demonise her, deface her and make her invisible.

But now she is back in every face and every heart and shining light on every face. Go ahead. Disrespect her, underestimate her. But watch her rebuild what had been destroyed in more fluid, fecund, nurturing ways for our lives and our planet.

Little girls are fighting climate change, women are daily fighting against the increasing misogyny and murders and rapes of our sisters. We are finally being Believed, Valued and trusted to hand on a new generation, purged of our hellish ancestral traumas, of all the mothers that let us down consciously or unconsciously...the sleeping beauties that allowed the rape of generations before us then blamed the victims.

Rise Sisters. Honour the Mother inside you. The mother some of us never had.

Today I honour Mrs June Robertson. A good kind woman. I also honour my friend Lyn Sloane who for 30 years has been a sister, a mother, and a champion for me as she dragged me through hell and high water and always nourished my broken spirit back to full vibrancy again.

I honour Julie Goddard who rebirthed me on my darkest day and Sally Castle who came to the “rescue” also.

Real brave Mothers.

To all my beautiful brave friends: May each day of your life bring peace and joy and a blossoming of your spirit. May you birth, not necessarily children but your gifts to this world. You are so loved and seen and Valued.

Thank you.

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Today I was delegitimised. Crystal told me she did not know I had been strangled three times and that my trauma of being strangled was no comparison to being raped. I said, no the two things are not the same. Being strangled means you face actual death and being raped is another kind of violation.

It hurt that she does not believe me (that I was attacked and strangled by the actions of her father and by Terry and David Davidson.). But I rose above it. She was a child at the time and she would not ever comprehend what I suffered. Not much empathy there anyway.

We still enjoyed dinner together but I felt detached and a tad betrayed. I drove her straight home after dinner. She was tired after working all day. We spent 3 hours together.

We had met a woman at the bar where we had coffee and Crystal Chided me for talking over the top of the woman. I agreed I had been over the top. So yeah. I need to learn to keep silent and listen more and not work so hard to “impress” people or gain approval.

Just as well I had a lovely week until today. The universe blessed me with happiness then it went downhill today. But I will be okay. Seeing the bullshit clearly will Help me heal.

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I got home from a lovely afternoon and dinner with my daughter. I walked into the kitchen to flick on the light and the light bulb fell out of the light shade and smashed on the floor. Weird! Fortunately it was an old fashioned one so no mercury on the floor. Just lots of tiny shards.

Oh well, another vacuuming about to happen 🙂.

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12 May 2017

4.01 am. I am very ill with bronchitis, allergies. Stress tips my immune system into overdrive. I had to get up to drink a glass of water as constant sneezing and inflammation of my throat and nasal passages made me feel like I have been chewing concrete. My teeth are all stinging again. Ouch!

I met a lovely and interesting woman last night who was walking past my house putting leaflets for her business. She does Kahuna massage.

We got to talking and I invited her in for a coffee (my dinner was starting to burn in the oven). We had many similarities in life. Both married young/divorced and walking our path with dignity and honour.) I really liked her. She is Czech.

Every day the Universe brings me synchronicities and lovely souls to enhance my healing. I am blessed and grateful and in awe.

Life is flowing and blossoming in profoundly miraculous ways. I just wish my health were better. But it has always gone in fits and starts like choked up carburettor. Funny!

4.51 pm bit feverish and coughing up huge amounts of post nasal drip. Ie revoltingly buggared.

Not going out tonight as too sick and frankly no one wants to be coughed, sneezed or spat on (even if some of the creeps deserve it).

So in honour of my good irascible declining health (which is not a novelty but a tired old track from 1965) I say "Shabbat Shalom! Y'all!". Drinking wine as it keeps me thinking I am alive. Only 2 glasses.

I need to buy some red wine to make a lovely Glüewein (German version of a Hot Toddy) to blow my snot into that galaxy far far away where that lunatic I met on Tuesday resides.

Uh oh, little leaping brown and green alien men screaming "We've been Slimed by, of all humans The Tanya, which is always in the extreme!" "Ha! Got you, you little buggars! I mean Boogers".

What can I say but it just is not cricket. But we love it. Dreadlocks Psychedelic dreaming fucktard holyday. Oops I am channelling my inner Heathen.

Ahh yesss. May the peace and rest bring healing, true loves and joy to the world. Amen v' selahhhhhcchhhhhh (snuffle)

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I am up hellishly early as Bobo was chewing on his foot bandages so I let him out to toilet himself then gave him his pain meds at 6.35 am then some food he had to have with the tablet. I am exhausted so back to bed until the lawnmower man arrives as then I will have to go out and get his money.

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I took the Elizabethan collar off The Beau. He licked his suture once or twice but stopped when I said Hell no. He is so happy to be free of that plastic fantastic head clinger that he could not navigate with (head banging his way around the house) that he has settled down to sleep at my feet. Dear sweet boy!

If he starts chewing on his sutures again, he will have to be collared in plastic fantastic discombobulation. I think he has realised life is better without it.

On another topic Crystal has messaged me from Berlin. She won't go to Hamburg as too expensive. (WTAF???) She forgot to pre-book so now it will cost as much as flying there.

I hope that Dizzy Babe organised herself enough to go to Hamburg another time as she would find it interesting to see where her grandmother hailed (heiled??...I know, sick joke) from. I asked her to find my cousin Teja Patula but so far she acts useless.

I will have to spend large amounts of money to find him myself as she is too lazy to go to the Standesbeamte and make enquiries for free (or a lot less than ordering certificates from Australia!) Grrrr! He may even be dead already. Useless family with dystopian/disconnected connections.

Which is why I was pleased to be in touch with Robert, Heather, Audrey and now Megan. The Phillips Tribe are pleased to have found each other largely due to Robert Phillips hard work on Ancestry. Thanks Robert!

We are a queer bunch of people with varied issues from inter-generational trauma (not to mention our own various traumas) but it has brought so much peace and healing to have discovered the histories of our familial line. It actually explained a lot.

"I HEAL MYSELF (body/mind/spirit) to the Tenth Generation before me. Thank you. Amen!"

12 May 2016

I have hurt my neck and am covered in scratches after muzzling Bobo and clipping his nails. He turned into Demon Dog and even managed to nip me through the muzzle. It was a hell of an ordeal for a five minute job.

I feel overwrought but I got the job done. Had to pin him down with my thighs while holding the nail clipper in one hand and trying to hold his thick stocky muscular paw in the other.

Now his nails are clipped and he is sulking and I am in pain but I am cooking roast sweet potatoes and potatoes and onion and garlic with Cajun spices because well, hungry traumatised Mama needs to eat!

Exorcist Puppy is turning his back on me but his claws were extremely longggg!

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Another headache. Byron Withdrawals ;-)

12 May 2014

3.59 am. Just come back inside. Lovely night! I have filled the back pond, taken photos, fed all the goldfish, watered the lime tree. I still need to fill up the front pond tomorrow.

I feel alive and free and grateful for my safe haven, courtesy of the Australian govt. Socks inspected my pond at the very rear of the property and gave it a sniff. Like the hens, he drinks out of it. It was rather amusing to have a night-time assistant helping me in the garden.

Then I said "Come on Socks, time for bed!" So he followed me inside and has just leapt up on my bed. First time ever. Now he has proved his point to Miss Penny, he's gone to his own boudoir to sleep there.

12 May 2011

I'm rather hungry. Last night I ate the rest of my potato stash, boiled with ricotta cheese, moroccan spice, black pepper and salt. Yummy. No muffins left to satisfy my sweet craving. Thank G-d Gail has promised to pick me up soon and take me to McDonalds. I can hardly wait. Almost ready to chew my own arm. LOL

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Feel much better after my Maccas Attack. Tahylia ate very little as per usual but I was intrigued with her new 'Rio' toys. One of the birdy characters does a Breakdance. So very cool.

12 May 2010

is very content with her garden. Tinker tink's possum box had to be renovated as the entrance hole was too small, but now has eucalyptus leaves and some bark for a Nest. Remains to be seen if she moves in and sets up house. My spring bulbs are peeping out of the ground (a pleasant sight as usually my spring bulbs don't spring like they should LOL) Life is beautiful!

Copyright Tanya Désirée Arons