Memories: 11 May 2025

11 May 2025

7:35 am Another day in Paradise. The sun has come out to play. Happy Mothers Day. Celebrate life…a gift afforded by the gods. Hardwon, recalibrated, it deserves to be valued, cherished, adored and celebrated. Every day in every way.

A mother is a mother until she dies. A woman who lives…loves always. Some of us know the price we pay…is too much. But we soldier on…awaiting a new dawn. A new Love…a new Way.

We carry our children within us. Take joy and delight in their achievements. Hold hope for their future. A future we may never live to experience or see, but with full confidence that we gave them wings to fly and that they will build a life for themselves and their progeny that has meaning, grace and courage.

They will grow and glow and show up in astonishing ways…if not for us…then for others.

Blessèd Be!

Arise the Divine Feminine in all aspects of her Being, across vortices of Time and Space. Gnawing on that umbilical cord between Death and Life, whetting and whelping and whittling us into our perfect forms. Becoming our own tiny divinity.

With great power comes great responsibility…Only to Live, Love, Play and Pray…seeking out our tribe who resonates with us like a melodious chord. Sing a new song: of Magick, triumph over adversity, and call Home those who truly love us and honour us.

Amen v’selah!

Grateful for all the love and support that has been gifted me to survive my life. Including in recent months from my Unseen Holy Ones. My Muse that is so demanding of me that I feel humbled and at times, awestruck.

Someone wants me to Thrive…stay alive…cocreate my beautiful life. Hopefully…in time with a wonderful caring honouring human man by my side…but if not….I have the Angels/Spirits/fae holding me precious and guiding me along as I finish out my life here on Planet Earth. They protect me and defend me and bring me gnosis.

I am still amazed at how they cajoled me to go outside to find Charlie’s beak and worked me so hard that day (27 April) and the next few days to complete that pendant. It showed me that I am being prepared for a future that I can only barely imagine. And along that Way, I have my beautiful souls to protect, soul nourish and guide me. Even little Charlie whose love was immense and undying.

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Happy Mothers Day. Happy Birthday to Lyn and Margot! :-)

11 May 2024

I woke up at 9:52 am with the line running in my head “Don’t waste your time on me, you’re already the voice inside my head…Miss you!” Blink 182. I smiled but thought…hmmm that’s a tad dark. So I pushed it away like an old fashioned typewriter platter…Ding. I lay cosseted in my bed a bit longer, feeling happy!

Today is the birthday of some very special friends. Today we celebrate, I said to myself. Today is a Happy Day! So spirit gifted me a meandering song lyric I couldn’t quite grasp but I think it was ”Love Story” by Taylor Swift.

I thought, oh my, stop teasing me, you discarnate entities! But I had to giggle. I stayed home last night as I have felt so fragile healthwise. But my body threw all sorts of tantrums at 8 pm (when it’s time to dress and put on makeup, and again at 10 pm when I drive to the Club then again around midnight.

“See, you are up watching a tv show, “Bodkin” (which is rather good!) You could have just gone dancing!!!”

But Wiser Older Tanya said “No, tonight we rest and if I feel stronger tomorrow night then we DANCE!” So I went to bed at 1 am.

Yesterday I spent the entire day and evening, printing out all my writings on FB for 2023 and 2024. Intense, but kinda quirky and interesting.

So tonight I will enjoy a good dance, let out all the stress from poring over my past…and Shine. I have this fantasy of just sitting around, nursing a Jack Daniel’s, looking elegant, aloof and sanguine….but Mama T knows what happens when the music reenervates my spirit. 🙂

11 May 2023

https://youtu.be/H5otOVXt1ys

https://youtu.be/4u2SHRXxrWY

https://youtu.be/fAMSrnGMNJY

11 May 2022

Today and yesterday afternoon I worked at turning three Electroplated silver forks into hooks.

The smaller entrée one I made yesterday bent easily but the two large forks were very very difficult. It took me most of the day with lots of annealing, hammering, …and swearing.

I am utterly exhausted. Trust me to take up strange hobbies trying to make jewellery and other artifacts from old vintage silver cutlery.

Still, it kept me occupied in this murky rainy day.

I am happy with my art!

11 May 2021

12:11 am 11 May 2021

Laila Tov!

Happy birthday to my beautiful friend Lyn and to my other beautiful friend, Margot.

I must sleep now!

Happy birthday also to Susan Sophia James in Tucson Arizona.

Have a wonderful day!

Much love from the Multiverses!

11 May 2020

Trigger warning: my usual spiritual/religious ramblings inspired by my dream.

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This morning I woke up from a repetitive dream I have experienced for four consecutive mornings. It’s important. I don’t know how to put it into words as it was more based on emotions. But I will try.

I was shown computer screens. Like iPhone apps, that were enticing or intriguing so I would click on the screen hoping to receive information or downloads but each time I clicked on the screen there would be nothing of any substance behind it.

Like false advertising or glossy superficial advertising in fancy overpriced magazines. I grew infinitely more disappointed and frustrated.

So the message here is not to be taken in by the façade, the false illusions/delusions that our society/govt/ruling classes is feeding us like the small pox infested blankets gifted to the Native Americans to mollycoddle them into their own deaths while stealing their land.

I woke up in a fit of momentary panic. Who is lying to me? Who is selling me down the river? Who has my back and front?! Who loves me truly and deeply and protects my integrity as a soul, as a woman on this planet?!

I can’t help feeling this dream relates to the covid 19 pandemic and the way we are fast ceding our small freedoms to a fear and smear campaign of epic proportions. The way we turn on each other as we deny the obvious Truth.

Death comes to us all. It is a fact of Life. As winsome and yielding as Birth, it comes in waves of distorted pangs of agony or if we are blessed, a gentle passage into the Void in our sleep. But Death is the final lesson. The final gift in this tragi-comedy Berserker absurdist life.

I have kissed its Hag so many times that I no longer fear it. Only the dying process. Not the Oblivion, the anonymity or the long Sleep of the grave.

I survived much to finally at age 55, fully zestfully preciously succour and relish LIFE!

It has been a Will o’wisp, a mirage, a psychedelic dreamer’s dream with the slump and bump and arse-kicks - strangulations, betrayals, dysmorphic paradigmical cosmic shifts and so much emotional pain that I wanted off the train wreck of my life.

But I am here. To tell you. I have decided. My fairy tale “Happy Ever After” is here now. Even in my covid isolation. Even in my long long years of living alone as a Divorcée. Spurned and scorned by my own impolitic disingenuous Society. They burnt my reputation and sullied me as though I were a medieval witch.

Even accused me of Witchcraft. Hahaha. Close but no chocolate fish. Get your Pikes and village square ready, Dickheads. I am whom I am. A Witch! A woman. A Warrior Goddess. A mother held at arms length whose children feared her power inviolate would infiltrate or resonate. A desecrated Daughter by predators most foul.

A woman who Loves with a Fire that cannot be consumed. Like the Eternal Light that once spoke to Moses (that I proudly display on my left upper arm in place of tefillin). One of God’s holy names advertised for all to see because I have walked and often crawled on broken glass for my relationship with God/Dess and been witnessed and vilified but also at times, respected for it.

But humanity is yet again on the brink of extreme calamitous change. I can feel her writhing in torment like an awakening Beast that has not yet transfigured into Beauty.

So I speak words of love and hope and grandiose Denial as it is here: the opportunity to create a better planet for All lifeforms. Not just the feckless foolish greedy corrupt murderous one per cent of humanity (those with money and power and paedophiliac Luciferian inclinations).

I call upon the truly decent good people of Earth. Hold your ground. Maintain your freedoms, if you must live or die by them. All is not Lost but nothing can be gained by fear or treachery. Be very aware of whose hand you kiss and/or whose arse also.

The frippery and trickery is built into our society. We all subscribe to it. Pay for our smart phones and our interconnections with disease and cobalt poisoning and 5G golly gee and death but there are worse things than Death - a mere passage into the next dimension.

Guard your Souls. Question everything. Stand with both feet on our Mother Earth and pray with every fibre of your being that She forgives us for our greed and mutilations. Gifts us eternity. Blesses us with a good, noble, beautiful and soulful LIFE.

Happy ever after. Starts Now. Today. This breath. This moment. Choose Life. Always and forever. Life after life after life until we join again with the Source of all Life, all multiverses all creation. The Ein Sof Aur.

The Tanya has Spoken. End of transmission 😉 xxx

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So this afternoon I was watching “Dead to Me” when I heard the excited, trilling sounds of little children outside my gate. So I had a quick spy but did not recognise the man with the children so decided they were not visiting me.

A bit later they were still there so I let Bobo out who ran to the front gate in glee because not only were the visitors for me but they brought their Daddy along as well. (The other strange man was a neighbour they had all stopped to chat to, who had now walked up the road!) So I introduce myself to Evie and Suzy’s Daddy named Dave, and invited them all in.

One thing led to another (because you know...children!) and I ended up setting up the cauldron for the girls as Evie had asked me last week and I had intended to wait until Halloween but decided that why wait? Special occasions should be every single day as should magic... so lol once the cauldron was magically misting... little Evie asks breathlessly if we can do a spell?

Both Dave and Margot were quite encouraging so we went into the kitchen to gather up lavender flowers, rose petals, jasmine flowers, some cinnamon (ahem for prosperity!) and some star anise.

I asked Evie what spell she wanted to do? “A heart healing”. “A heart healing? Who do you know needs a heart healing, Evie, as your Mum and Dad look perfectly happy to me!”

She shrugged with the blasé look of an ancient “For you, Tanya” (the kid was no doubt channeling again). I was a bit taken aback but I do need a heart healing as you know, my own achy breaky heart needs a defibrillate from the universe every now and then.

So I told her it was her spell so she had to make it rhyme. She said she didn’t know how! So I made something up and she then a bit later, made her own up.

We all went Aww as it was so lovely and appropriate!

Magic happens, People! I told Dave and Margot that at my ripe old age of 55 I expected my Wise ones and guides to be much older, not come to me in the form of such perfectly wise little girls!

So there you have it! I have been manifesting a tribe of people who get me, who vibe with me, in loving kindness and tolerance for a very long time.

I had hoped that tribe would find me in Byron Bay if I ever got to live there. But no, the universe moves in mysterious ways and verily brings my tribe to me. Giggles!

I need not fear getting older and weirder on my own too much, as the right people are finding me and gifting me with joy.

Magic and Life is Beautiful!

11 May 2019

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I had a delightful night at Ecstatic Dance and met some lovely new people. Life is good :-)

11 May 2017

My Beauregard is home. Very wobbly and groggy. I had to put an Elizabethan collar on him as he immediately went to lick his sutures. We go back in 3 days to have his bandages changed on his hind paws. (He had his dew claws removed as well as his testicles!)

So relieved!

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I really hate Vets. I dropped Beauregard off. They told me right away that they can't guarantee anything going wrong under anaesthetic then complained he was aggressive. I stated he is stressed because I am.

I half expect to be told he has died during surgery. Horrible dreadful feeling having to trust vets with my animals. They wanted another $125 for pre-surgery blood test and just stared at me blankly when I said I can't afford it.

I am having an anxiety attack and have half a mind to go back to get him.

Vets have cost me 2 dogs through sadistic negligence in the past.

11 May 2016

I am going to "flush" out my heavy medications. Slowly reduce the dosages. I am too fatigued and zombified on them. My doctor worries how I will go over winter which is when my depression and trauma increases but I think it is worth a trial.

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Drinking cheap wine, gobbled down cod and chips. Watching tv. Saw my psychiatrist. Loving today. Just for today and today and today in a million tomorrows.

My dr tells me I have balls, in the right place. So I jokingly adjusted my right heights. Twice. But yeah. I am a woman in her own power, after decades of abuse I cannot cede control over my own personhood to any man, woman or child.

You will have to love me in all my masculine-feminine survivor attributes. Or send me to Holland so I can be legally euthanised as I will never submit to being weak, or a victim ever again.

It has cost me dearly. Relationships, career, even my Art. But every day in every way I remain strong and indomitable.

11 May 2014

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I must admit I have coped better in life since I grew my hair long. There is something unmistakable about the hair raising at the back of your neck when you get the 'heebie jeebies'. I have always found men with long hair or wild curly hair or even dreads, attractive.

No doubt my PTSD recognises that my men need to be hyper-vigilant and attuned to keep me safe and comfortable even though in reality I tend to attract weak men and end up being my own vigilante protector lmao. C'est la vie, le pauvre. La Belle Dame Sans Merci!

Now I know this, I will persist in my quest for longer Viking-style hair down to my waist. I had an elderly scottish neighbour named Effie Walker, as a small child and I always admired her thick braid which she wore down below her waist.

She was a crazy old Coot, who thought my mother was Marilyn Monroe and father, Arthur Miller and would ask him when his next play was coming out. Well she was half right, they were both psychotic Drama Queens, violent, abusive but at times fucking hilarious divas.

Ach Ja, ze apple does not fall far from the tree, Darlink. (Fuck off Gisela! And Happy Mothers Day to you cos your daughter turned out fucking Awesome in spite of all the shit you put me through).

I expect there to be even more Awesomeness...why should I ever stop blossoming out in my personal Tree of Life? As Andy from Berst tells me every time I see him…Happy Birthday. Even though it was last month, every day now is a new birth for me, a new awakening, even the love pangs of a woman who is rejected, it's all part of my new abundant awesomeness.

Rock on Babies!

11 May 2011

So far my possum possie are behaving quite nicely and waiting patiently for me to go to bed so they can then get on with their possum party (cringe...not my new aerial you little blighters....) and leap and scuttle merrily over my tin roof as they are wont to do each night. I love them! One day they will probably fall through the rusting roof! I'll wake up with fluff in my face!

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My "pet" possums are back this Autumn. Just got a surprise when I went out my front door to see both Mother and Child sitting merrily in the tree. I've decided not to feed them this year. Not unless they 'ask' for food like the cute little one last Autumn, literally banging on my front screen door. Creative little creature.

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Feeling tired even though I had a 2 hour afternoon nap today. What the? Oh well, good news is I have almost entered the 21st Century with the new acquisition of a Digital TV aerial. It is awesome to be able to actually see all the free channels I can get on an old Telly. Next goal, to purchase a Digital tv so I can have all the High Definition stuff as well. Bliss!

Copyright Tanya Désirée Arons