Journal Entry

Today was a good day. I honestly don't know which direction I'm going anymore, I'm just going. I know what I want, and right now, that is to be in tune with my mind. I want to work on myself and personal goals. Get my house in line. Put some more money into savings. Build with my family. Make lasting memories.

I still want to maintain the friendships with people close to me. I want to spend as much time with my daughter as I can. I want to do good at my job. I want my home to be happy and full. I want to have experiences. I want to have fun. I want to try new foods. I want to go to different places and have conversations with different people. I want to lay in the grass and walk in the sand. I want to teach my daughter about the earth, and how she can help to take care of it. I want to travel. I want to laugh with the people I love. I want to sit around a fire while we eat s'mores and watch Conner, Haven, and Raven laugh and smile. I want life.

It's late, and I'm not always right, but I do know what I want.

Everything I need

I have

and everything

That is meant for me

Is within my reach.

Life is how it should be now, and it will evolve into what it needs to be in the future. I'm always grateful for what I have, and I know that the grass only stays green where you water it, but life tends to get in the way of what you may have had in mind. I want to always be careful not to take advantage of what the universe has handed me. So I try to stay grateful and count my blessings. I try to treat others the way I'd like to be treated, and be impeccable with my words, but that just isn't always the case. I guess it's true that we just have to strive to be better than we were the day before. We shouldn't be in competition with anyone but ourselves.

That is much easier said than done on some days.

I have a lot of goals in mind, and as I sit here watching my daughter in the bath, that is what I think about the most. My goals, and where they are eventually going to bring my family. I want to bring my family peace, but I also want to bring them adventure. I want them to know where they are loved and where they are safe, and that is up to me.

The woman has a big roll of the household, just like the man, and if you don't think so, then you are probably running your household with the wrong person by your side. I'm grateful that I found the right person to run a household beside. My cup has been very full lately and I always try to remind myself that it won't always stay that way, so I should remain grateful.

So I guess I necessarily don't know what direction I'm headed. I just know for sure of what the destination will look like. I can see it when I think about where I want to be in ten or fifteen years. I don't know if that's hope, pure will, or manifestation, maybe all three, but it's working for me. It's helping me see who I want to be, how I want to be, and where I eventually want to be.

I feel like life has really opened itself up to me recently, and I needed that, but somewhere in me, I feel something bad about to happen.