Journal Entry

I don't often share personal pieces, such as my own journal entries, but I really wanted this one on my platform. It's not super short, but personal to me and it flowed well with the rest of my writings. I may start to add more of my personal entries into my work as time goes on, so here is a start in showing some of my journal work.

Enjoy.

July, 1st, 2023

I have been thinking a lot about my future lately. Where I want to be in ten to fifteen years. The type of relationship I wish to have with my daughter at that point in our lives. How financially stable I will have made myself and my family, how self sufficient. I think about the area I want to be living in. The type of work I want to be doing on the side of my hobbies and homestead. I very often think about who I'll spend my time doing all of this with, if anyone at all.

Life has not done anything I ever thought it would do in the last fifteen years, but especially the last five.

I have learned where right meets wrong, and in what ways they can participate with one another.

I've experienced heartache and grief.

I've learned to be open with your emotions, just careful with whom you do it.

I've been blessed enough to know that friends can become family.

I have simultaneously been knocked down inside my own mistakes and mess. I consistently learned to pick myself up out out of those hardships, learning who is family, and learning who can't stay. Some people weren't meant for the entire journey. Some people aren't supposed to go.

I learned quickly that nature is the best healer, and it is through which that can help guide us in the right directions when we spend enough time with her.

What I have not figured out, is why humans waste so much time. We really do. Whether it be of embarrassment, or shame, maybe guilt, or just because we simply don't want to, so much time is wasted. So much time passes that we don't actually get done the things we want to do. I just don't want my future to be like that, or to be a result of that.

I continue to find ways to motivate myself. I have to keep striving to work hard, so that my future, and most importantly, my daughters future, does not become a result of time wasted throughout the years. I find myself still taking part in things that waste my time every now and again. I however spend a lot of time making up for those occasions I do believe.

I learn a lot during the hours I waste. I learn what I don't want to do, and who I don't want to be. I learn what I can achieve when I'm simply not in that atmosphere. I even consider new ideas for my hobbies or my job in the time that I waste.

So I do hope, that if I am going to be wasting increments of my time at various moments in my life, that I at least waste my own time wisely. That I at least only waste this occasional time in ways that help to feed my soul, or help to replenish it. I hope I can give my soul the rest it needs. The solitude that recharges it. I hope I can keep learning to nurture it, until it becomes whole again. You cannot properly replenish something without allowing it the rest it requires, nutrients, and, I guessed it, time.