I Wish

I wish I would have just said no. I wish I would have just walked away. I should have paid attention to the signs. I should have listened to the warnings. I should have never gotten in the car that day. Or maybe I should have turned right back around.

This is not the way I had imagined my life to be. This is not what I dreamed of. There is no such thing as happily ever after. Happily ever after is a lie. It’s all just a scam. It's just another marketing scheme. The only people who gain anything from that are big businesses.

I’m so exhausted right now. I just want to close my eyes. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I’m having a hard time doing anything anymore. I’ve lost joy in so many things that I used to love. I just want to get that joy back. I need some peace back in my life. I just don’t know where to find it.

I think it’s time to start returning energy. People are start going to get what they put out into the world. I’m done being walked all over. I need to protect my peace. Why should I keep someone in my life if they’re going to steal my energy? I refuse to be anyones doormat anymore.

Life is hard enough without having toxic people dragging me down. I’m trying to live my best life. I have better things to do with my time then waste it on people who don’t really care about me. It’s time for me to start saying no more often. The people who constantly ask me for help are the same who wouldn’t jump over a puddle for me.

My time and energy are precious to me. I‘m not wasting them on anyone anymore. I’m making myself top priority. I refuse to make myself small for people any longer. I’m tired of being a shell of the person I once was. It’s time for me to be happy again. Nothing seems to bring me joy anymore.

I’m so tired right now. I don’t just mean physically either. I’ve been giving so much of myself all the time. I’m completely and utterly drained. I’m not sure how much more I can continue to give to anyone. I need some sort of reset. Something to give me some sort of mental refresh.

I feel like I’m on the outside looking in on my own life. I’ve been doing to much. I’m not where I want to be in life. I know that it takes change to make change. I just don’t know where to start. I don’t want to feel stuck anymore. I want to be free.

I’m having a hard time putting into words this feeling I have deep down inside. It’s like I need some sort of change in my life. I’m just not sure where to begin. I’m tired of living this way. I need something new. I refuse to continue living like this.

I’m going to start being more honest. Not just with myself, but with those around me. If I can’t say it to their face then I shouldn’t say it behind their back. I need to start holding myself accountable more often. I’m taking control of my life. I want more out of life than what I have now. And I will surround myself with like minded people.

I’ve wasted so much time feeling bad for myself. There is no reason for me to be throwing a pity party for myself. I am above that. I am going to continue to grow and rise above my self doubt. I am not going to settle anymore. The change starts now.