I Resign From Hiding

I hereby resign from keeping my mouth shut. I once decided to stop hiding that I was raped but I still haven't publicly announced any names. And so many times I have stayed quiet about what other people have done. It's what I was taught to do. It is what I was *trained* to do.

Starting now, no more secrets. Someone molested me when I was four years old. Then she found out how to torture me with it. She figured out all the ways to get on my nerves and trigger me and used those things to make me freak out. Then she would call me a baby and act like I was unstable to my parents. Then as teenagers she found another way to get on my nerves by copying me. If I reacted she would just deny it.

When we were adults she stole everything I had and forced me out of our home by becoming a drug addict and inviting them over. She took half of all the rent and bill money for over a year and spent it on drugs instead. She tried to kill my mom right in front of me. She begged mom for a dog and sold it the next day for drug money. A month later she begged for another dog. They bought it for her and kept it at their house so she couldn't sell it. But they still did it, still knowing. Someone who was a dear friend was asked to watch out for her. He was sober, she got him back on drugs and stalked and harassed him. I know this because he called me worried about it. She acted and still acts like he was her best friend but he only went around her because he cared so much about me. He thought he was helping me by helping her. He called me freaked out that she was obsessing over him not long before he died. She caused his death.

Someone like a brother to us was asked to help her and I wanted to warn him about her so bad. I was scared and threatened and made to feel like I was just bitter. I had a right to be since she forced me from the home I had built for five years. There isn't time enough to list all the things she took from me, or ruined for me. But I stayed quiet and she screwed him over just like I knew she would.

She told me and several people that her supposed friend's husband sexually assaulted her the night before their wedding. I didn't know whether or not to believe her. I couldn't say anything or I would be the one causing drama for no reason. I will be told that very thing for writing it now. But I can promise right now that not knowing the truth then and not being able to tell my best friend has been torture. Now I know with 100% certainty she was lying about him. She lied about him again later but I watched her when she was around him. She followed him around and tried to keep talking to him. I know her, I know the expression on her face when she's trying to impress men. She was trying to impress him and he was trying to avoid her.

After she got out of prison her dog had a girl pup. She purposely and continuously teased them about being jealous of each other until they got in fights so bad fur would fly. She pretended to be concerned but the teasing didn't stop. It got so bad the mother dog had to be taken away. Now she is starting to try it with the dad dog and his daughter. This is the last straw for me. I moved to a place that she always said she'd never go. Our mom's property. I bought a new place, I rebuilt my life from nothing after she took almost everything. And she F*cking followed me. I can't get away from her. I started dating someone and she started treating him like she did our other friend's husband. She tried to flirt with my boyfriend and he wasn't interested but I knew that if they had one second alone, she could lie about him the way she did the other guy. It's what really drove home for me that it was a lie in the first place. I had to leave. I was run off from the second home I had built. This is the SECOND F*CKING time I've been driven away from a home and life I had built because of her. But now I can't just stay away. My mom and dogs are there. I'm heartbroken daily over missing those dogs. I am sick to my stomach worried she will kill them just to spite me. Regardless what ANYONE thinks, she is exactly that kind of person and I will not hide that for her any longer. Just know that if something happens to them, it was her. I suspect her of being a pedophile for a multitude of reasons but I have no proof, it's just speculation. But I do know things and have seen things that back up that suspicion.

This isn't even half of the things she has done, it would take an entire novel length essay to list everything. I don't care anymore, there is nothing left for me to hide it for. I am done pretending like she isn't a monster. Hiding those things helps no one. She will see this and try to destroy me somehow but I can't help that. She might even harm me physically but I am out of options of what to do. I am just so sick of this pain. The pain of knowing my being born was all it took for her to hate me. My whole life she has hated me and tortured me and I will not hide that anymore. The only way to be free is to bring everything to the light and let the shadows be cast where they may. Whoever gets mad at me just for telling the truth and wants to side with her over me can get the friend and family member they deserve for it.