How to lead with love

1. Making time for them, being available for someone exclusively and emotionally present makes them feel like you are the only person that matters in that moment. They feel special and like they are worth your time. Especially if you are in a support role we know you are busy and know your time is precious.

2. Show your humility – let them know you have been there too. When you have a story about being in their shoes it's a breath of relief. I cant tell you how many times I have felt like I was alone or stupid or weak only to find that others have been there before too. Your team looks up to you and to know you have gone through, came out of the same situation and “turned out ok” can be a priceless gift.

3. Be knowledgeable – Be the authority and know your stuff! Be the smartest person in the room. If someone wants to become more awesome, the right people will know who to seek out. It doesn't mean being the human Operations Playbook but it does mean knowing where to find the information and the whys behind the procedures.

4. Be able to listen to the blockages that keep them from succeeding. Sometimes this means being a counselor or a friend. What's going on in our personal lives, how we feel about ourselves affects how we work. We cannot ignore the links. Sometimes this is the root cause of blocks in performance.

5. Know what they go through. Respect and know they are balancing guests, food, and their team. Somedays equipment goes up, team members are late, and humans are human. Assume the best intentions, don't judge by the snapshot of operations at the moment. Take a less judgmental approach by helping someone through those moments and get in the fire with them.

6. Use your experience to teach and lead effectively!

This means being able to give tips and tricks – You can share stories of how you did something the right/wrong way and give insider information to make their lives easier!

If you have been in your team's shoes you can understand their pain. You can better serve and support.

When you were at their level try to remember what your peers used to avoid doing and get those things done first!

7. Be mad passionate about your job. When you love your job it shows. It is contagious. That makes thankfulness and pride contagious as well and nothing is more beautiful than that!

8. Be teachable. Not much is more endearing than someone who is able to grow and humble enough to sit at someone's feet and learn. The higher the position, the more sweet is the humbleness of being teachable. When you are teachable it shows that not knowing everything is ok! It makes it safe to admit their shortcomings/areas of opportunity to improve. You never know, maybe your passion could inspire them to take better care of themselves or pursue their passions – the trickle down effect of those good vibes and lives touched is endless.

9. Be their cheerleader. We all need a reminder every now and again of who we are and how far we have come. When you are in the trenches you might see a restaurant with a never ending to do list, a ton of job aides of perfection and an imperfect restaurant. As an outsider to the situation, you have a different perspective of one's growth and can give support accordingly. Simply put: See their greatness ESPECIALLY when they cannot see it for themselves!

10. Be able to identify what makes someone unique/special and identify the skills they have. Your team respects your experience. When you have seen hundreds of restaurants with this or another concept, have mentored innumerable people, your opinion becomes more valuable. Pointing out unique skills in your TM will help them realize their worth and use their talents to support their job. They will feel honored that they genuinely stood out amongst all the people you have met.

11. Be able to shut their brain down. Sometimes things in one's life can feel so stressful. Sometimes just getting your story out and having someone totally calm and unshakable to listen is priceless. As parents we learn this for our children. What is big and important to them in that moment is important, that is the center of their world. Really really listening and remaining level headed makes your team feel safe and protected in your calmness and experience. :)

12. Give honest feedback – Being agreeable all the time doesn't help one grow. Let someone know if they missed an important step, are misguided or not prioritizing well.

13. Encourage them to stand in their truth! Whether that means holding the team to the high standards they have for themselves or asking over what they need to do to be promoted. Standing in your truth, standing up for yourself and knowing your worth will help to continue to progress balancing their masculine and feminine qualities. Standing in your truth is the only way for sustained peace. After some time the truth will find you. If you don't hold the standards, if you allow people to walk over you, if you don't use your potential it will wreak havoc.

14. Know themselves. Know what makes you happy and do LOTS of it! Spend time with inspiring happy people! Take your PTO days. Be able to receive good things. Set boundaries of when you check emails/check your phone. If you neglect your home and personal life you will become unbalanced. You cannot take care of others if you do not take care of yourself. You cannot teach others to know their worth if you don't know yours. You cannot give from your cup but your saucer.

15. Help them develop self sufficiency! In training, by Day 4 the Trainee should be self sufficient. Support is wonderful BUT the mastery of the teacher is based whether the student can perform alone. After you work beside them, sweat with them, show them the tools... ask them questions, point out when they came up with brilliant solutions on their own and they don't need you :). They will eventually trust their own judgment and not need you to solve problems for them. They will grow in confidence in all aspects of life.

I saved the most important tip for last. Self sufficiency is the key to self confidence, trusting oneself, and self worth. You never know what people are going through outside of work. You never know what people were told as children, what people tell themselves or were told a minute before walking into work. When you show them how to pick themselves back up, that they are worthy and that the power is within, THAT changes lives, THAT saves lives. Their worth is based on not your opinion of them but their opinion of them. They become more sturdy when they are without you. That's when you know you've made a difference.

One person has the power to inspire someone. Inspire a person who didn't think they were good at anything, that they not only are good at things BUT can go on to successfully run million dollar businesses! They can support their families. That one person can change the future of that family. One person can give them support in building their own confidence that it spills into their personal life. Next thing you know, they think they can achieve anything! They can pursue their soul mission, start their own business or be an amazing human being. These lessons come from my mistakes, my friendship, my struggles, my victory, my triumphs.

I learned all this and so much more from one person's example. If I didn't have that one person I would not have ever been a Manager or even a Assistant Manager. I might not have been able to support my family financially. I wouldn't have fallen in love with my job. I wouldn't love my job to this day. I would have given up. I would have never discovered my soul mission. I wouldn't be standing here today. I wouldn't have saved someone's else's life. I wouldn't have learned so much not only about me as a leader, but as a person.

“To the world you may be one person but to one person you may be the world.”