How to Handle "Difficult" Customers

After nearly 17 years as a server, I have served people who are very kind, compassionate, and friendly. It is terrific to interact with these people, but occasionally, there is a "difficult" customer. Not to be confused with blatantly rude, disrespectful and abusive customers who are not allowed to stay.

A "difficult" customer can be someone who perhaps has specific requests on how you create their food. One time, I had a lady who ordered our breakfast special. Her panfries had to be golden all over, with no dark spots and no light spots either. Her bacon needed to be flexible, cooked, and with only a hint of crisp. Eggs needed to be softly basted. Toast had to be toasted but not too dark and lightly buttered with real butter. I was so nervous while cooking her order after I finished, I took it to her and asked if anything needed to be re-done. She checked her plate and smiled at me and told me it was perfect. While I did the morning shift, she continued to come because she enjoyed the food and service so much.

Customers sometimes arrive while they are experiencing a busy, stressful day. If they use a clipped tone, consistently checking the time and seem rushed; please take that as your cue to listen extra carefully to what they want. Complete their order quickly and wish them a good day with a real smile. They do not know what kind of day you are having, but you are serving them, give them positive service because that might be the highlight of their day.

Regular customers might surprise you with an unhappy reaction to recently raised prices. One day, my employer was away for the day, and as the supervisor and the most senior worker, I handled the transactions. It was a busy rush, and it was Taco Thursday, we had just raised our prices the evening before. One of the ladies had ordered a taco salad, and perhaps she missed what the new price was. However, when she saw her total, she was a bit upset. I just said to her that I was sorry she was surprised, but I cannot change the price without permission from my employer. I mentioned he was away, but if she wanted to discuss the issue with him, she could leave a phone number or talk to him when she came in next. She paid and left. The next day, she came in and asked for me. She apologized for how she reacted and thanked me for being calm and reasonable. I accepted her apology and thanked her for giving me one. We continued to have a good, strong customer-server relationship.

This next scenario is not so much a "difficult" customer issue; it is a boundary issue a customer accidentally created that I had to navigate. A bit of backstory is required here. As a working mother, I was fortunate that my parents looked after my son. They had an appointment and took my son with them. At the time, he still drank out of bottles because he was not developmentally ready to be weaned from them. Please realize that a child might be age-ready for weaning, but perhaps not developmentally. My customer had seen him with the bottle, and that same day I was serving her. She brought up that my son should not still be using a bottle because of how it could affect his teeth. The boundary she crossed was discussing a parental concern while I was in my professional setting where she was my customer during the busy lunch rush. I have an ability to split-second assess different reactions that I could use in a situation. Do I react as a mother who feels like she's been mom-shamed? Do I ignore the comment altogether? Do I try to set up a boundary myself while trying to restrain my feelings? In the end, I reined in my emotions and said that if we see each other outside of my work, we can discuss the issue, but I was presently unable to. I wished her a good day and left it at that. I had served her on other occasions after that, but we kept our conversations to light and positive discussions. This customer had her heart in the right place, but the timing, location and delivery were not appropriate.

Customers sometimes become upset if you make a mistake with an order. I had an elderly lady who was typically pleasant to me, and she was a regular but had the occasional issue with behaviour. I thought she ordered toast with her soup, I started to toast her bread, and she realized what I was doing and raised her voice. I popped up the toast and went to her and apologized. I said that the bread was only a little bit warm and still soft; I asked if that was acceptable and then offered a fresh slice if it was not. She calmed down immediately and was happy to accept the slightly warm bread.

The thing to remember about customer service is that you represent the company and your behaviour in any of these situations can impact the business. It is hard to control your emotions in difficult situations. If you need someone else to intercede, have a pre-arranged code word with staff members who can help smooth the situation. If you are a person in a position of power, it is your responsibility to intercede and assist both the customer and the server.

Customers are the reason you have a job in the first place, so instead of complaining about how "difficult" a customer is, perhaps be a bit more understanding. Treat them how you would like to be treated in that situation. Kindness is easy to bestow on those who treat you well, but unless a customer has been downright abusive (in which case they should be asked to leave), stay kind, be calm, be the voice of reason.