Holidays don't always feel Magical

As the holiday season is under full swing I just wanted to take the time to write this blog. My favorite holiday is Christmas, but not ever Christmas or holiday season has felt magical to me. If you're feeling the same way you aren't alone. I also feel with the state of the world currently, this year might feel extra heavy. Some have also experienced loss of different compacities during the holidays, adding another layer to holidays not feeling quite so magical. For me personally it's mixture of so many things, from it being my grandmas birthday who is no longer here, to being broken up with on her birthday. All of that aside I feel like there is so much expectations put on holidays. Seeing people getting engaged, commercials showing happy couples and families. Making it feel like the holidays can only feel magical because of these things. While that is further from the truth, it's easy to get caught up in that narrative.

Growing up I was always told the holidays seem to lose their spark, and I always thought there is no way it could be true. As the years have passed I have found it becoming true. This year though I want to change my perspective. Instead of comparing, I want to remind myself of everything I do have. My life is far from what society deems traditional, but I am blessed and happy. Social media post always seem to add salt to the wound, but over the years I've realized that people only post the "happy" moments and you never truly know what is going on beyond that reel they posted. This year I have so much to be grateful for, number one being mine and my families health. I moved into my own studio a few months back, getting me out of a toxic situation. I started managing my drinking (for real this time), and even found a new craft I enjoy to pass the time! I want to share more about that in another post.

I felt I needed to write this piece incase even one person needed a reminder that you aren't alone. Even if your holiday doesn't look like most, that doesn't make it any less great. I wish we lived in a society that was more geared toward different ways of life; instead of promoting the only way to happiness is having the white picket fence lifestyle. This is all easier said than done of course, I have many moments of sadness, wonder, regret. In these moments I remind myself that every single person on this planet has a different life path; either way you're not behind or ahead but rather exactly where you're supposed to be. Even if it doesn't feel that way right now.

It's so crazy to reflect on how much has happened in a year, and how much changed. For the better mostly, and reflecting on where I'll be next year. While I don't know if I will still be living in the exact same place as I am now, one thing I do know is I will almost be 40 by this time next year. I remember being a kid thinking that was SO OLD! Now I'm like I think this could be my best decade yet. So my goal for the rest of this year is to continue healing so that I can be the best version of myself in my 40s. I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season, whatever that looks like to you. Remember you aren't alone, I am always here if you need someone!

Until next time everyone :)