Hero or sellout?

We are living in difficult times where good paying jobs are hard to find without a college education or vocational training makes it even harder to find a job that will pay the bills and take care of our families. It makes it twice as hard being an African American male without a college degree. The options you have to stay financially stable become smaller. Though it’s not impossible, in today’s society it makes the task more challenging.

The options for people in my position specifically black people as career choices are military, local job at an plant or mill, or become a first responder such as an firefighter, emt, or an police officer. As the only person working in my home and three people to take care I was looking to find a job that offered overtime so even if the job didn’t pay the best I would be able to make it up in overtime hours. The military option was out the window because I had just got out and I was in a town that my previous military assignment was. Not familiar with the area or what “the good jobs was” I begin to look into the law enforcement jobs in the city and county.

After doing my research I seen that there was some great opportunies in two of the departments I was looking at. I then talked it over with my family to get their opinion of my potential decision, the responses was mixed because I entered law enforcement in 2016 and police brutality begin to come to the light and to the media. To some people anybody wearing the badge became the enemy, doesn’t matter if you was one of the nicest or honest people on earth. You instantly became a bad person in some people eyes because of the agency that you are representing. My family and friends was upset with the killings of African American people by police officers as well and was concerned about my safety. Speaking to my fiancée, I was able to ease her heart and ensure to her that I was doing it to take care of the household and I will be alert and safe as possible to make it back home to my family by shift change. Although I was able to convince her that I will be alright, my siblings and friends was another battle.

My siblings and close friends have been watching the news and social media as well in disgust of the blood shed of innocent people and developed their opinions on the matter. All I seen was an great way to provide for my family and serve in a paramilitary structure. I didn't let other people views determine my view on the matter. On any job you will have your “bad apples” in the barrel. I seen it as a way to help the black community seeing that there is someone that look like them enforcing the law. Many of my friends begin to disappear and become distant after finding out I took the job. Some saying “how can I work for the same people thats killing us?” Been called an “Uncle Tom” and other degrading things. Those things didn’t bother me to much because all I knew was my bills was getting paid.

My parents taught my siblings and I good morals, and though I have family members that have made mistakes in the past and ended up on the wrong side of the law, the morals and ethics was placed in us at an early age. We wasn’t taught how to sell drugs or do unethical things so I couldn’t resort to that. I had to use the tools that I was taught to provide for my kids, which was hard work, dedication, and most importantly do what you are told!

I remember about three years ago I met a member of my fiancées family. When he had found out that I was in law enforcement he was shocked because I don’t necessarily “fit the look” of an officer. He smiled and said “its good to have someone square in the family” as he dapped me up. At first I kinda took offense to what he said because being “square” where I’m from meant you was lame or uncool. I was around 27 years old at the time and still kinda cared what people oppinion was about me then. It did leave me puzzled however. Why is it uncool to be a black law enforcement officer? What makes me “uncool” or a sellout because I have a badge on my chest? As I seen it, it was a way to talk to the community or an inmate of color to even diffuse tensed issues. I was even a little embarrassed to tell my peers what I did for an living. Thankfully I outgrown those feelings and stop caring what people thought because all I know was my family had no worries in the financial department and I was making a difference in my community.