Disability Shame

I'm not the first, nor will I be the last, to be terminated from a job for my disability...a disability disclosed prior to still being offered the position. To be excited to be working with a woman-owned minority company on a Federal Government contract was exciting when I started. Especially, with the company being an African-American woman-owned company (as it's very rare to come across one of those), it was truly a new venture for me. Things were going well, my performance reviews were always between the 96-100 percentage, and on a daily basis I was averaging 45-70 emails on any given day (as the company's contract with DHHS was strictly for email support - the main reason why I applied for the position, and accepted the position after informing during my interview of my anxiety disability and being unable to provide any form of phone support). It was great to finally be accepted at a company and not have to be embarrassed of not feeling like a real employee because of my anxiety disability!

Unfortunately, the excitement was short lived when I arrived at work 2 years later and the management team was informing staff that we would be taking inbound phone calls, in addition to answering emails. Of course, having Public Trust clearances, we requested a copy of the updated contract from the funding agency since our names would be attached to anything done in the system and none of us wanted to lose our clearances over fraudulent actions by the company. To my knowledge, such an updated contract was never provided to the employees. I, unfortunately, was terminated for insubordination in the course of a week after trying to obtain an updated ADA letter from a new doctor under my insurance plan with the company (as the one provided during my interview was from an old provider who did not participate under the company's plan, and had since passed away).

Tuesday thru Friday, I was allowed to be harassed and "walked up on" in the office by the management team with them making inquiries regarding my disability (what it was, and why I needed an accommodation - none of which I was required to disclose to them since they were not HR or my provider).

HR informed the management team that I would need a copy of the updated job description to send to the new provider I was able to find under our plan who was accepting new patients. I was able to fax my initial request to the provider and a copy of the job description that was still on the company's Careers page on Monday when I was at work (and his office confirmed receipt on the next day). His office also informed me they received my authorization for records to be sent to their office from my previous provider with another insurance company (being informed they would take about 3-5 business days to obtain and send).

On Wednesday, HR finally received a Word document of the updated job description (however, it was not approved by DHHS or official for them - a violation of government contracts). I sent the updated description to the new provider's office on Wednesday and they received it on Thursday. On Thursday, the management team was informed I was working with HR on an accommodation and I would assist on the phones until the paperwork came in from my new provider.

On Friday upon my arrival, I was approached by a manager who was informed the day prior of my having a disability and working with them and my new provider on an accommodation, but he took it upon himself to pull me into his office, a female employee, privately, and closed the door. I informed him HR is still waiting for the documents from my provider and that I have logged into the phones since Tuesday and was logging in when he pulled me into his office alone.

He then called HR after I informed him I had been on the phones since Tuesday (unsure why as they informed him the day prior of what was going on as it related to my disability). While he had HR on the phone, I signaled to him that I needed to make a call and gestured to me to go ahead and make the call. I stepped out of his office and left the door cracked. A few of another company sharing the work space were wrapping up their shift and conversing so I stepped outside to call my new doctor to check on the paperwork, as it seemed I needed to rush turning in the paperwork because I had been harassed by management Tuesday thru Thursday (and now Friday) and had the office turned into a hostile working environment towards me.

I was able to contact my new provider and he informed he was still awaiting the records from my old provider, as he wanted to be accurate in completing the forms for HR and also once the records were received wanted to setup a face to face with me. I returned to the managers office and informed he and HR my new provider was still waiting for my records to review and that he wanted a face to face with me as well, but if they want I can have him rush completing the forms without seeing my records. I was informed by HR he did not need to rush at all. I informed, again, that I had been on the phones since Tuesday, and was logging in today, until I was yet pulled into another meeting about my disability with a party who was non-HR or my provider.

The manager made the call on his cell phone, which was going in and out since the call had started. I informed HR I would email them once I returned to my desk because the call was going in and out and the manager gestured for me to go ahead and return to my desk. I opened the door and walked back to my desk as he stood in his office doorway.

When I returned to my desk, I was informed there were some calls in the queue that needed to be cleared and then emails in the inbox left over from the morning shift. I jumped on the phones and took the one call that was left, and worked emails until my shift ended and I left for the weekend.

To my surprise, upon my arrival on Monday, I was informed I was being terminated for insubordination (which was confusing to me because I had logged in and taken calls everyday I was asked to log in to the phones). As I sat in my car after leaving the building, I tried to comprehend what I did wrong and could come up with nothing. To disclose my disability during my interview and be told the company's contract was strictly email support , and be offered a position with my disability being known by the company had me speechless.

I couldn't for the life of me figure out where I went wrong, or what I did other than have a disability that was not being hidden. I felt so worthless and ashamed of having anxiety. But, I turned my feeling of worthlessness into determination to get back on the job market and find company that wants me for my talents and can accept my disability because my work ethic has never been affected negatively because of my anxiety. Performance reviews for 15 years were all in the 95-100 percentage. I was only unemployed for two and a half months when I lucked up with a company that accepts me for me, and considers me the biggest asset on the team.

I turned my disability shame into determination to excel professionally! One company's illegal and unethical work practices couldn't stop me from continuing to be the stellar employee I had been for 15 years (at that time)!