Compassion is Our Greatest Strength

In 2016, I almost died. I have asthma and I was unaware that I also had pneumonia. I knew that I wasn’t feeling well so I went to an urgent care facility and got checked out. They sent me home with some meds and told me to take it easy. On the drive home, I started to have trouble breathing. Since I was alone and driving, this trouble breathing became a panic attack. Merely two blocks away from my home I stopped my car in the middle of a street, opened the door, and fell out. I was in the midst of passing out completely.

I was in a neighborhood, it was during the day and to my luck, a man was watering his lawn and an elderly couple were simply sitting on their porch. Without a moment's thought or hesitation, these strangers ran toward me. The first man took my hand and held my head off of the pavement. His teenage daughter called 911. The elderly couple leaned down and offered suggestions and comforting words. They acted as if coming to the aid of a stranger weren’t a decision, it was an instinct.

I’m told that in my delusional state I asked about my car, it was in the middle of the road, what was I going to do. The elderly man brushed away my concern, promising to put my car in his driveway where I could pick it up when I was better. I don’t recall exactly when I fell unconscious but it was shortly after an incredible team of firefighters and EMTs arrived, put me on a stretcher and raced me to the emergency room. I can recall nearly a dozen faces nearby as I was loaded up, all sharing concern, and offering comfort asking if there was more that they could do.

I wish that I could have thanked them but I can only remember their faces. My brother thanked the elderly couple when he picked up my car but he didn’t get their names. It did not occur to me until recently how remarkable this experience was. Total strangers leaping into help without a second thought. They saw someone suffering and sought to alleviate that suffering if they could. Their compassion, empathy, and kindness saved my life that day.

Why tell this story now? Because empathy, compassion, and kindness are under attack. In the media, prominent people refer to empathy as a weakness. They blithely take away people’s livelihoods, threaten them with deportation from the country, or simply offer an open hostility that they claim is humor. Now more than ever we need to remember that empathy is an instinct, not a decision. Compassion is innate. Kindness is a default setting for most people.

This wasn’t my first brush with near death. In several months prior to the incident I described, I was working at a basketball game as a radio announcer. It was freezing cold outside and I was carrying all of my broadcasting equipment with me, the weight of which felt like it was compressing all of the air out of my body. Once again, I had pneumonia coupled with asthma and as I made the 100 yard walk to my car with my equipment, I collapsed in the street.

Here again, a quick witted, compassionate young man, a student at the High School I was at, rushed to my aid. He picked me up, drove me to the school in my car to seek help. I had a breathing machine with me, a duoneb machine that helps to clear my airways. He helped me inside, called for help and plugged in the machine, even put the medicine in it. Then, he sat with me for about 20 or 25 minutes making sure I was alright. With him were a janitor, two teachers, and the coach of the opposing basketball team. They stayed with me until my closest friend arrived to drive me home.

Kindness, compassion, empathy, are what makes us human. They are built into us. We want to connect with others. We want to be part of something important. We want to help when people are hurt. This is the true strength of our collective humanity. The people in this story were fathers, daughters, sons, brothers, friends, strangers, Republicans, Democrats, Black, White, Hispanic, Gay and Straight. They didn’t announce themselves or anything, that’s just an assumption on my part because compassion, empathy and kindness aren’t limited by such labels, they exist in everyone from every background.

Recently, one of my favorite YouTube channels, Some More News, hosted by Cody Johnson, posted a video called “The Right Wing War on Empathy.” In it Cody and his team lay out the case that there are many who want us to cut ourselves off from our empathy. They want us to stop caring about strangers. They want us to become reclusive and selfish. We need to heed this video, listen to these words and remember that empathy is our true strength. Compassion makes us stronger, and kindness is something to take pride in.