Closure

I woke up to a small beam of light shining through the curtains and onto my bed. I rolled over to avoid the light, only to open my eyes as I was awake. I stared at the high, blank, empty white ceiling and I began to feel uneasy. For once, I didn't hear the sound of Hamish cooking in the kitchen. I couldn't smell eggs being perfectly fried on the stove. Hamish would always cook eggs in the breakfast and leave at approximately nine in the morning, leaving me a perfect breakfast each time I woke up. He wasn't a lover, he was a friend. A best friend.

We lived by the beach in a neighborhood in Adelaide called Glenelg. We would have walks by the beach every afternoon before dinner, where we would talk about anything and everything. We shared a house, a group of friends and a life together. Many assumed that we were lovers, but I had a boyfriend and we weren't each other's types. He would always emphasize the fact that he liked a certain type of woman that was nothing like me. At first, it hurt my feelings, but then I accepted the fact that we would just be friends. And I thought it would always be that way.

However, that's not what happened. One day, he decided that it was best for him to switch courses, out of arts with me and into criminology. I was cool with it and supportive as I liked my friends to follow their dreams. However, the new course meant a new crowd of friends. We had shared friends for years and suddenly, he didn't seem to like me hanging out with this group. It was strange and usual, as it wasn't usual behavior of his. We always included each other with our new friends.

It all started the day he acted like I was crazy. I was sitting alone, typing on my computer and he came past me with his new friends. He waved at me, but to my surprise, kept walking away with them. Puzzled, I watched them closely and they went inside and sat on the first table they could find. He was deliberately leaving me out and it was a hundred percent evident. When I tried to confront him about it, he acted like I was crazy and didn't know what I was talking about. However, I absolutely did.

It got worse, as he was hanging out with me less and ditching me for his friends all the time. Also, he became slack at home, not cleaning up after himself, leaving me to do all the work. If that wasn't enough, I soon realized my romantic relationship was toxic and I started battling with that. However, despite my sadness, he wasn't there for me in any way, shape or form. And every time I tried to confront him, he treated me like I was a mental patient and even once said I could have BPD.

One day, I joined a new club and I started to get along with someone in it. We went out a couple of times and I thought it was going well, but he told me he wasn't looking for anything serious. That was the worst possible time that could've happened, as I could feel Hamish pulling away from me. The last thing I needed was to be heartbroken or rejected.

One night, I had a dream, where a guy called Henry came to me all of a sudden. He catered to my every need and never gave up on me, no matter how far I pushed him. He stood his ground and assured me everything was going to be alright. He held me, listened to me and provided a shoulder to cry on. When I expressed my feelings for him, he said "I'm a collection of your subconscious mind. So, in a way, you're saying that you love yourself."

Although I had no friends, no loving boyfriend and no place in this world, I had the courage to tell him to get out of my life. So it was on this day that I woke up and he was gone without saying goodbye. He claimed he was a true friend who would never leave me, but in the end I knew it was all a lie. Through this, I grew to be a stronger person, worked on my health, put myself out there, found true best friends and my ideal career path.

So while this sucked, in the end I learnt that self love is important and that involves cutting negative people out of your life.