A Tired Mind

I don’t know if anyone, knows how tired I feel at this moment. It is a bone-weary tired that no amount of sleeping seems to be enough.

Has anyone else ever felt tired like this before? I would say they have as we are told that there is nothing that has not been experienced by others before. But how did they get through it? Maybe a self-help book would help but that just means more words more thoughts and more time doing more things.

It is a what do I do next tired. My mind does not stop running with thoughts of all that needs doing. The planning, the cleaning, appointments, and stuff.

Do others get so busy they want to just retreat from the planet? There are ads that show people leaving the planet because of allergies. And I know that there are many who go off the grid to get away. But how is that even possible? Does one just give up on the people they love or do they encourage them to join them in their escape. Would that not just cause at times for some of the stresses to follow even in off grid adventures? Oh, head stop thinking so much for a while. Please be quiet so I can put these thoughts into some order.

I try to focus on only the next thing that needs to be done but all the other things little bits and pieces keep butting in to let me know that they are waiting for my attention as well. Noisy little things words are but we need them, and I love them but not when this horrible tiredness is invading everything.

The words to sleep per chance to dream run through my thoughts, those words written by Shakespeare from Hamlet, Act III, Scene I [To be, or not to be]. So many have used them I know but they echo in my head. Who can sleep though with so many ideas and THINGS striving for their time in the spotlight?

Dreams, oh dreams, pleasant dreams, funny dreams, peaceful dreams, where are you? Rest. Is there such a thing for someone with so many responsibilities? I don’t know. Though I hope there is, how sad if there isn’t.

Then I think, if I take time to rest, will there just be more to do when I return, you know, back into the world? Oh confusion, oh tiredness when does it lessen?

All I can think of at this moment is to write it down, so it is no longer rattling around in my mind. Then maybe after sleep I can organise it or have a clearer perspective on everything.

Yes, pen and paper, no on my phone to read later that is the way to go. I hope it will be less confusing after a bit of sleep, rest, slumber a snooze or a catnap maybe forty winks even twenty winks would do or to be dead to the world. Dead to the world? NO not dead not even for a time. I want to be alive to the world to feel its wonders and all it contains including the tiredness as it shows that I am alive, and I have loved ones around me.

I don’t know if anyone, knows how tired I feel at this moment. My hope is to not be so overwhelmed but to take just one small step at a time and to know when to just stand still.

The words are written, and I can now rest and wake to life………….

………. I awake refreshed and calm and ready to step into this day.

Words and Writing, What treasure,

They all make so much more sense

when looked at through rested body and mind.

My hope in the world is restored.

Now go gently, one step at a time.

Remember to be kind to yourself as well as others.

Remember to stop and breathe,

Breathe in all that life holds for you.

Mary-Ellen 30-12-2021