A little backslide

March has been an up and down month. On the plus side, that fatigue that I was dealing with last month has resolved. On the negative side, I got sick for a couple of weeks and that really set me back with my exercise goals. Though to be fair, I was already flagging on those before the sickness hit.

Read on for my monthly recap, where I take a look at the areas of my life that are important to me, that I’m working on or trying to improve.

Reading

I finished three books this month. My goal was two, so I’m happy to have exceeded that and I feel like I’m getting back into a good reading groove again. I’m gradually whittling down the number of books I have currently on the go to a more manageable number, and trying to make sure that anything I do pick up, I’m actually looking forward to reading, not just reading because I think I “should” read it.

Finished

• Witchmark by CL Polk. This was quite a charming book, it got a bit dark at the end but also had a lot of really nice moments in it. I think there are additional books, but I think I’ll stop here. I’m kind of burnt out on series. I feel like no one is happy to just tell a story and let it be any more. They have to turn it into an ongoing thing. So I enjoyed this book. To me, it’s a complete story so I’m stopping here.
• I Haven’t Been Entirely Honest With You by Miranda Hart. I love Miranda Hart, I think she’s hilarious but I did not like this book. What she’s been through with her health is terrible, but this book just wasn’t for me. I feel like it’s a 101 in self-betterment. I’ve read a lot of the books she talks about and most people who go on a journey of self-discovery and digging into your own psyche like that want to share their journey, but the truth is, no one else needs to read that.
• Dark Iron by Pierce Brown. I really struggled with the first half of this book, too many characters, too many names and complicated double crossing back stories to remember, too much politics. I don’t think it helped that I was reading in a really choppy way, either. So when I knuckled down to finish the second half I started to really enjoy it. That’s actually been my journey with most of the books in this series. First half is a struggle, second half drags me in. Looking forward to the next part, which I thought was the final, but I’ve also heard maybe it’s not?

In progress

• Winter’s Heart by Robert Jordan. Still no progress here, but it’s getting closer to the top of the pile.
• The Bronze Horseman by Paullina Simons. I’m so close to finishing this one now. I’ll be glad to hand it back, but it’s going to be hard to tell my friend what I honestly thought of her favourite book. The romantic relationship in this book is awful on so many levels. I’m going to tell her it just wasn’t my cup of tea, because I don’t want to go into detail and potentially ruin her favourite book for her. I’ve had that happen to me before. I’ve shared a favourite with someone who didn’t like it and then proceeded to tear it to shreds and I wasn’t able to see it in the same light again afterwards either.
• Gormenghast Trilogy by Mervyn Peake. Still no progress, still haven’t borrowed it from the library again.
• The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov. No progress here again either. I think I’m going to restart this when I do pick it up again.
• The King in Yellow by Robert W Chambers. No progress on this one this month.
• The Waste Lands by Stephen King. I read another chapter of this one after finishing the Miranda Hart book. I love this series so much. I’ve saving the last chapter of this book for once I finally finish The Bronze Horseman. Then I have to try and not binge book four, which was one of my favourites.
• The Kingdom of Copper by SA Chakraborty. Enjoying this a lot more than I thought I would. I’m so close to finishing this one that I almost made it my fourth finish for the month. Instead, it will be my first finish for next month. It’s a hard choice whether to move on to the next part of this series or the next Red Rising book next. I think it will depend on how much of a cliff hanger this one is.
• The Golden Fool by Robin Hobb. Started this as my new sleep time book, but it had to go back after 3 weeks so now I’m back on the waiting list. I’m struggling to find a replacement sleeper book in the meantime.

My updated priority list for next month:

Eye reading:

1. The Bronze Horseman by Paullina Simons. Get this finish so I can return the books to my friend.

2. The Waste Lands by Stephen King. The last chapter of this book to reward myself for finishing The Bronze Horseman.

3. The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov. Finish this so I can talk about with my other friend.

4. The King in Yellow by Robert W Chambers. Knock this one off the list.

5. Gormenghast Trilogy by Mervyn Peake.

6. Winter’s Heart by Robert Jordan.

Ears reading:

1. The Kingdom of Copper by SA Chakraborty.

Decide whether to start book 3 of the above, or the 6th Red Rising.

I’m doing better with eye reading and lasting a bit longer when I read in bed at night. I’m getting through audiobooks a bit quicker as well as I’ve started listening on 1.5x speed. I used to only listen at normal speed, out of respect for the performers. But I only do that for Steve Parker Audiobooks now. Otherwise 1.5x is a good balance of getting through the books a bit quicker and it not being so fast as to lose the emotional nuance of the readers.

Health

Whatever that weird fatigue thing was last month it’s disappeared, which is good news. On the down side though I got sick with a head cold that wasn’t very intense, but hung around for 2 weeks. That really stopped me from doing much exercise, but even before that, I hadn’t been keeping up with my intended level of exercise anyway so I can’t honestly put all the blame on the illness.

Don’t worry, I’m well aware of the potential link between the reduced exercise and the reduced fatigue. I just want to find a balance where I can exercise at a level I’m happy with and not feel too tired from it.

It’s been almost three weeks since I’ve been to Muay Thai. That’s the illness, but also just me letting other things take priority. I’m keen to get back into it though. We went to an event that was put on by our trainer and, as always, the live events always light a bit of a fire. Shortly after that he put out a call asking for interest in an event that’s coming up in September. I’m too shy to publicly put my hand up, but I hope that I can quietly get some more info when I’m next at the club. It would be a huge commitment, but part of me wants to do it so bad.

I only did two parkruns. Both quite slow, no PBs. Next month they move to a later time, and I’m not sure how much that will affect my motivation to do them. It’s only an hour later, but there’s other things on Saturdays as well, like sparring and embroidery guild. There’s just not enough hours in a weekend.

My weight has gone up a bit again, which isn’t really surprising given I haven’t been exercising as much. My diet has hasn’t been great either, lots of evening snacking.

My mental health has been pretty good. I haven’t done anymore on that online course, it all seems pretty basic stuff that I’ve done before or already know. One of the tasks that they ask you to do is to document your negative self talk, and I really struggle with that because I don’t actually notice any negative self-talk. It’s not that I don’t think negatively about myself, because I definitely do. But the way they talk about it is as if I sit there and literally think the words “I’m terrible at my job”, and I just don’t do that. It’s just a general feeling I have so I find it really hard when they ask you to write down every time you have a negative thought about yourself. But despite this, I think I’m doing ok mentally, although I’m finding I’m not very motivated to go to work and I’m thinking more often about looking for a work from home role or other ways to make money.

Writing

Didn’t go to the writer’s group this month. It was a visiting author promoting their book so we bailed on that. Next meeting is the results from their latest writing comp that I didn’t enter. So not sure if I’ll go, but I guess I should.

My writing prompt this month had a 2500 word limit so I was supposed to try and work on it regularly throughout the month, but I still just ended up writing the majority of it in one sitting. I’m finding it hard to make time for writing because it’s such a solo activity.

Book of Stitches

I haven’t really done anything productive towards building up BoS this month. I’ve got what I think are some really cool ideas for new projects, but I haven’t actually started any of them yet. There are some exhibitions coming up that I wouldn’t mind entering, possibly. One is free, and accordingly I don’t think there’s any prize money associated with it. The other one has a $20 entry fee but does have some prizes. The free one is really soon, and I have to decide if I’ll enter by the 20th of April. The other one I’ve got a lot longer, but it will have to be a much more involved piece.

As for Etsy, I really haven’t touched it at all this month, it’s just been doing it’s own thing. Here’s the stats for the last 30 days. Previous 30 days in brackets.

Views: 120 (146)

Visits: 74 (91)

Sales: 2 (3)

I’d love to bump these numbers up, but I’m so bad at the marketing thing. I hate trying to think of the SEO tags and key words and all that stuff to try and make my listings more visible.

Finances

Finances are kind of just doing their thing at the moment. Not really making any big progress, but also getting along fine with what we have. Still a little worried about the extra expense of a second vehicle, and also about how much utilities will increase over winter.

Work

Work has been difficult. I’m really trying to force myself to remember that I’m not here to be everyone’s friend, and I don’t have to be the superstar number one performer at everything. It’s ok to be average, and these people are colleagues not besties. Walk out the door when it’s time to leave and forget about it until it’s time to start again the next day.

I’ve been having a lot of thoughts about other work though. About finding that dream job that pays a decent salary and also lets me work from home. It doesn’t exist, but I can dream.

Actionable goals

I did really poorly with last months goals:

• Exercise three times each week. This could be any combination of Muay Thai, running or weights

Failed. Got sick and did exactly nothing for two weeks, but even before that I didn’t manage the three a week anyway.

• Put one pattern up on Etsy

Failed. Opened up the browser and started updating one pattern, but nothing new went up.

• Finish two books

Completed. This is the only goal I completed. I finished three books.

• Work on this month’s prompt challenge each weekend

Failed. I wrote it all in one weekend.

I’m going to scale right back for April

Reading goal: Finish two books

Health Goal: Exercise once a week.

Business Goal: Put Thylacine pattern up on Etsy

Writing Goal: Write this months prompt earlier than the weekend before it’s due

I'll report back next month with updates :)