Where the ‘P’ dad Sings, and the phone denies access to binge

On the day of the 17th of July. Everything became too loud. The police siren. The music my sister in law was playing. The sound whilst they scored the paper and moved the tool across the wall, erasing what we were all tired of seeing. It was annoying. All of it, without internet access.

Maybe it was because I was talking about the state of the country. The router blew up in rage and stopped feeding my phone with connection to the outside world.

Then the ice cream van started singing, and it too, did not hold up to my expectations. To have an excess amount of …. stuff… before my eyes. In the form of pixels, personality, perception and camera tricks.

I did not like this new normal.

We ate in silence. Not that anything was precisely wrong with that. We’ve done that before, even when the internet was at our service. But the silence lets me know that I would be just as annoyed the following day.

I was PISSED.

THAT PERSON WHO SAID THAT THEIR INTERNET CAME BACK WHEN THEY WOKE UP THE NEXT MORNING. IS THE ONLY LUCKY PORCUPINE IN ALL EXISTENCE.

I was pricked with anger when I saw that green light still flashing.

The house was a terrible roommate. It’s like a terrible boss, who exists to ruin your life, (do the laundry, do it, just do it). The house was not as complex as a boss, or as quiet as a broken toilet.

Damn, no P’s in this paragraph.

It will creak some more while you consider what else needs to be done. Then my irritation grew a beard and turned fifty. There’s nothing pungent to listen to, that would make this great act of cleanliness, less pernicious.

Don’t get me started about having to vacuum after I shaved my long arms. I can feel you judging me, Alice. I didn’t want to be asked to get out of the bathroom so that someone else could use it. So I did the long bit in my room, and the short bit inside the shower. Because I shower inside the shower. In that order, Alice.

Heaving.

‘Yeah…yeah’ The sound of a man outside my window.

I heard a bit of rustling behind the wall my back was up against. Then an engine started up. Slippers brushing the wood floors inside. Then the closing of a car door, outside.

I did the thing you expected me to do. I kept pressing the same buttons, in the hopes that the exclamation mark would vanish. That the signal strength would stop mocking me. And that YouTube would stop teasing me with grey boxes where videos stayed and grey long bubbles where titles were meant to be. Oh the crisp vibrant thumbnails, I miss you and hate you still!

In the midst of all this madness. I encountered one thing.

That small feeling of being able to write without the overwhelming yoke of critique and doubt. By critique I mean the voice that tells you, you’re writing something that no one would resonate with or that you’re as dumb as a stick. Although this piece was not that difficult, there were bits involved that took a bit of thinking and rewording. But that small feeling stuck around, even then. That’s how I knew it was possible to write without the wind howling death to every word.

It might be the lack of stress that I had. Because all the things that were immediate. That which held deadlines with a lit up sign. Those who called me sweet names before leaving in the middle of the night, were all online.

I have no idea what that last part meant.

It could be the fact that all the information on YouTube wasn't penetrating my skull to leave zero room for my own creativity. So instead of crashing and burning, I grew into a dictionary of words and a butterfly with a story of sorts to fly at you.

YouTube brings colour. Ironically… focus… pushing me towards the things I want to do when I am ‘tired’ of scrolling and watching. It helps me.

It’s something to look forward to when I want to unwind. Then there is Vocal, for the days when I want to read and interact. When I want to tell someone that their work was perfectly worded. That it gave me… purpose. When I want to write and be wisped away by my own mind. Purpose.

A/N: Yes. We had no internet. It was aweful. It lead to me try my hands at humour. I hope you enjoyed it. If you did, please comment and like. It’s FREEEEE, WEEEEE. ♥️🤗🙏🏽