– The Pricey Luxury Badge vs the Hovering Hulk –
Most of us have a problem with car doors putting dents on the sides of our cars; we'd like to take up two spaces but then we'd get key'd out of spite if we did. Currently the 'Compact' spots are occupied by Schlong-Schlinging oversized trucks that have their Tuckus' so far out they block the drive through aisles; I'm probably the only one that's noticed.
For instance ~ The Optometrist: Woman 'Squeezing' her fancy 'Badged' S.U.V. between two massive trucks parked in the narrow 'compact' spaces at his office, smashing into both simultaneously, Quote: "Ah, I'm just getting my eyes examined here, I 'Probably' won't do that again once I GeTumFixed." Common sense just doesn't seem to be common anymore.To save the planet of late drivers are choosing: The silent-sleek electric cars or the gas guzzling humongous throaty pickups; not much in between. No more woody's or station wagons. Just the Look~Alike everyday S.U.V.'s with the touch-to-open rear hatch so not to break a nail; you know the kind.
Our Stylish S.U.V. - Watercolor © Darlene M. Wescombe -
The GimmickyTechLess 1947 Chrysler Woody Rag-Top Convertible – No 'Lectric here. The scrap metal taken from post war Tanks created relic unique craftsmanship that took on a personality of their own if not a special 'tude; courtesy ashtrays throughout. Dad had a 'long-green' 4 door sedan whose grill served as a climbing playground 'Jungle-Gym,' The Toothy-Grills of the day. 'Hit by a Buick' an everyday colloquial expression. This article is meant to Observe-Point Out our Senior vs the Newbies cultural differences and parallels – if any?
For years automakers would feature their hood ornaments as a calling-card-badge, if you will. Such as GM's Pontiacs' immediately recognizable Indian head, that lit up the 'Chiefs-Nose' at the tip of the hood leading the way; predecessor to G.P.S. People bought the prestige that was showcased.
— Bold Presence ~ Size Does Matter —
Hey look at my Monster coming at your 'Pischer' cars, Peasants, that are often tooted about and looking DownUpon by the little old Granny from Pasadena. Identia slathered onto the tailgates of pickups with the Mfg. name proudly emblazoned onto the tailgate; they get you coming or going. And, of course there's the Rolls and Mercedes hood ornaments that became so popular to rip-off that once the ignition was shut down, they would instantly retract from view.
— Whites of Their Eyes —
1st thing we were taught in Drivers Ed was, at an intersection, always look @ the drivers eyes to see if they see you? Now with all of the 'Legal?' wrap-around window blackening you never know what 'Gadget or Passenger' they may be 'Fiddling' with - along with hiding smoke tokes.
But, there is an upside slant to all of this: Ever sit at a light clearly viewing (right next to you) a driver smashing a Cheeseburger into his mouth with the left hand while gulping down ketchup slathered French Fries with the right hand? I know - Yeesch!
— Not Your Grandma's Everyday Driver —
'Beasts' are the Newbies' idea of sleek compared to the stylish rides in the past. Currently GM is producing few (2) door trucks, due to 'Seat Belt' Laws, as well as block-long 'Family' SUV's; no KiddyKrunching here. Unattractive to me is the Jeep SUV: This klutzy 'Knobby Tire Thing' features huge-hinges displayed holding everything together. The 'Romancing-Draw' with these bumpy rides alludes me — Underwire-Bras-Required —
Teens now have found alternate sources of transportation due to out of reach costs – as well as other sources of transportation now available that were once unheard of such as Uber and speedy 'lectric-scooters scattered on every corner. Cars just don’t seem to hold the same appeal for kids these days in comparison to our generation. Could the silence of electric cars, as opposed to the vibration of the 'Muscle Cars' varoom be a factor; not to mention the bumper-to-bumper drag of driving in traffic.
I picture this gens' parallel parking on the DMV Test: While the 'examiner' is looking away (distracted by his cellphone) as the 'Teen' engages Mom's automatic parking feature in her Cadillac – that drove through the course on autopilot.
My Twin and I, on our 16th Birthday, were 1st in line covering each of the (2) entry doors @ the DMV: We 'needed' our drivers license, and all of the freedom it represented. It also meant that we could take a date to the drive-in theater: Never quite knew what the movie was – But, Best Kissin' Venue – Ever !
The Lithium craze certainly has its advantages such as the the $2000 'lectric exercize bicycle - But, the only schvitz time is bending over to turn on the motor - kind of defeats the purpose.
— Spin Out —
Jay Kantor, Chatsworth, California
'Senior' Vocal Author - Vocal Village Community -
About the Creator
Jay Kantor
'For The Kids Someday'
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Such a Deal
— Penny Wise — I happened to pass by the 'Salvation Army' Thrift store and even very fancy cars were lined up around the block just to 'Bin' shop; along with huge truck trailer loads toting in varied merchandise. This gorgeous store offers everything from baskets of eye glasses to lovely furniture all cleaned and sanitized; a $500 recliner is tagged for $50 Bucks.
By Jay Kantor8 months ago in Humor
Where's the Glory?
In breaking news, rehabilitated Republican Senator Johnnie Johnson (Pronouns: HE, HIM, HIS) called a press conference from the Men’s room of the New Orleans Louis Armstrong International Airport, Concourse B, across from the Ignatius Reilly’s Lucky Dog stand. The Senator had just returned from a sexual reorientation rehabilitation program in Memphis, TN after being publically disgraced at a Buckee’s Truckstop restroom soliciting sex from an undercover cop three months ago. He is a founding member of the Reformed Christians for Christ, a conservative, pro-family and ex-gay advocacy group. In the spirit of being reborn, Senator Johnson invited reporters to marvel at his plans for a major remodeling of airport bathrooms.
By Cathy Schieffelin5 days ago in Humor
Comments (35)
My wife still wishes she had an old wood paneled station wagon (the kind we had when I was a kid).
You works is a pleasure to delve into a lovely read
The world unique to drivers, is one heck of a world to be apart of. I love reading all the names of the cars that I am not familiar with, and also your commentary, cars from back then vs now and the people behind those wheels, it was quite entertaining. I love your drawings as always each car and each tree reveal your unparalleled, remarkable and amazing personality, that if I were to read one of your work without knowing who it is from, I would know it’s you.
Jay, interesting piece - and blackish window tint is eerie sometimes. You have no clue who's behind the wheel!
We do have different kinds of drivers out there for sure. How do park your car Mr. Jay. Love your trademark illustration that compliments all your latest stories 🥰
I don't have a private message chain going with you anywhere else, so I just figured I'd drop you a line here in your latest story to tell you I wish you well. Knowing you're the very avatar of vigor, I've no doubt you'll pull through. Many blessings and much love, friend! Get well soon!
Jay, just read a beautiful ode to you from Rachel. Hope your hospital stay will be short and you will mend well. Speedy recovery, I miss your humor, your wise stories and your wonderful doodles.
Hey, there's my buddy, J on the TS list! And what a great story! I drove Suburbans for years, and still miss them. I've vowed to get myself another one after the move this year.
Your observations about cars and trends hold a lot of water. I've tried not to watch (but where can your eyes look) those gigantic SUVs that people purchase but can barely maneuver when it comes down to brass tacks. So many things make no earthly sense to me. Now I know that somebody else thinks that way. Thanks Jay, and congrats on the top story!
Another awesome piece, Jay! It's so funny you mentioned a generational difference in appreciation of cars, because there definitely is one in my household, haha! I am not a car person at all, but my parents are. My mom's dream car is a mid to late '50s Impala, I believe. And my parents both always get a kick out of seeing any muscle car still cruising the roads!
Wonderful weaving of words....
Well, I'm the one in a big 'lifted' Jeep - but I do park a mile away so nobody dings me on purpose. Very good story - as a classic car collector - we 'Get' you: Lon
Ha! This was brill Jay! Had to retake my test once I moved stateside and once I passed I started to drive like a true Marylander - no indicating, cutting off drivers at the last minute! It’s been wild! Really enjoyed your article.
I parallel parked with my eyes practically closed, forgot to indicate and kept saying "parallel park", "parallel park" the whole time. Yet I got my license, i guess everything else was perfect what with all the snow on the ground hindering my sight. This is completely...almost know nothing about cars...over my head. Wow, another TS. Congrats.
As I can't drive much of this went way over Underland...but loved the humour as always x C
Drive-in movies, oh yeah! my parents would laugh and ask "what was the movie about?" LOL, we went even when foggy outside, couldn't see the screen or out of the fogged up windows!! There are still a few around but not close and I'm too sleepy usually to drive to one, stay awake until it's dark after 10:30pm to begin the movie! I have a vehicle now that allows me to MERGE with these horrible drivers, no matter how they try to NOT let me in. Don't move over, I don't need you to, I will merge at high speed in front of you.
Back to say congratulations on your Top Story! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
Congratulations 🎉. Keep up the fantastic work.
Your narrative style highly reminds me of Jean Shepherd‘s writing from The Christmas Story. I appreciated your email as well, I'm So glad you got a top story!!!
Love your humorous story!!! 💕❤️❤️Congratulations on Top Story too!!!
I always enjoy your humor, Jay! I also do not like annoying macho and aggressive cars. Fun read!
Congrats on Top Story, Jay!
Out of the 50's and into the 60's we Aussie finally got our own automotive identity, General Motors Holden. Ford was always here and Chrysler, but there was nothing more Aussie than a Holden. Having said that, My first car was a Mini Minor. Eventually I bought a 1978 Holden panel van or as we liked to call them, "a shaggin wagon'. My girlfriend would never. I had an uncle who only drove Buicks. He owned an maroon 40's giant one, with the tell-tale holes on the fender and later a 70's Riviera, both beautiful cars. Always fun to read your stuff Jay. Stay cruisey.
As you know, I love my little yellow car - I don't understand car politics beyond the "it's fun" part. A Boss of mine once made me buy a sensible car: "I pay you money for a decent car, please buy one." Verbatim. I didn't really understand the point - What did it matter that it was cracking the flags hot and we were stuck in the Liverpool tunnel with no air conditioning... in my book that's just a story to write about later. You don't get good tales from sensible cars do ya?! (I did feel a little guilty when he got out looking like he'd been dipped in grease - after much ribbing I ended up buying a BMW 3 series in light blue - the most sensible and boring car I have ever owned. Waste of money.)
I love the way Jay observes everyday life and puts his own, rather sarcastic and definitely humorous, spin on things. I'm looking forward to reading more stories and seeing more original drawings representing his world view. -Kathy-