THE QUIETER I TRY TO BE

THE QUIETER I TRY TO BE

crash! bam! boom!

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Why is it that the quieter I try to be, the more noise I end up making. Even walking across the room seems to echo through the house.

Normally, I don’t care but at odd times during the day, my husband will decide he’d like to take a quick nap. His afternoon naps aren’t really all that quick. He’ll turn on the TV and often, he’ll sleep for about two hours. I figure at his age, and in his health, if his body wants to take a nap, I let him sleep – or at least try to let him sleep.

You’re probably wondering why he doesn’t lie in bed. Like many people in their 80s, he feels if he goes into the bedroom, he might never get up. At least, I think that’s what’s going through his brain. He just says he’s more comfortable in the recliner – and no, we don’t have room for a recliner in our bedroom.

I have an old pair of crocs which are very comfortable and yet I hesitate to wear them in the house.

Living in Florida, we opted not to have carpet in the house. Every room has a tile floor. The tile keeps the house cooler, and the tile is much easier to keep clean than the carpet would be.

If I wear my crocs in the house, they sound like there’s an octopus trying walk across the room – suction cup, after suction cup as each tentacle is lifted to move from one place to another. That’s why I now keep a pair of slippers by the door so when I walk in, I can immediately remove my crocs and wear my much quieter slippers.

Each afternoon, I enjoy a cup of tea. That habit began when I was not much older than four years old. My grandmother lived around the corner, and we visit her daily. Okay, we didn’t have much choice. Nanny needed her insulin and mom always administered it. While we were there, Nanny would always brew a pot of tea.

All these years later, I still enjoy my afternoon tea.

Unfortunately, the open-floor design of our house means that the kitchen is separated from the living room by a half wall.

It doesn’t matter if I put the kettle on the stove or use my Keurig. No matter how quiet I try to be, filling up the kettle or Keurig makes noise. The kettle whistles when the water boils. The Keurig, once it spouts its hot water, gives off a very loud gushing sound. Oh, and let’s not forget how pulling open the door of the refrigerator makes its own loud noise. No muffled sounds there, either.

A few days ago, I’d gotten home a bit later than expected from my exercise program and decided to have a late lunch. Well, it wasn’t really that much later but my husband had already fallen asleep on the couch. I closed the garage door as quietly as possible, almost tiptoed to the kitchen and walked to the breadbox. As I pushed the front sliding lid to the open position, my finger slipped and pushed a bit too heavy. CRASH! While the breadbox didn’t fall to the floor, it did, however crash against the wall.

“What was that? Are you ok? What happened?” His questions were rapid fire since his unconsciousness was startled by the loud noise.

As I was explaining, once he realized I was fine, he had already drifted off - back to sleep.

Just today, I’d gone shopping after my Zumba class. Once again, he was sleeping when I arrived home.

I had already removed my grocery bags from the car and placed them near the door that opened from the garage to the kitchen.

Trying to be environmentally correct, I use reusable shopping bags but with this trip, I’d totally neglected to put them back in the car. I’d taken them out to make room for our emergency kits we use during hurricanes in case we need to evacuate. We didn’t leave, but I’d forgotten to replace the bags. The bagger asked if I wanted plastic or paper bags. I said paper.

Now home and seeing my husband on the couch, I turned and looked at the bags ready to be picked up and carried in the house.

“Okay, then, this is going to be fun!” I thought, shaking my head.

There was absolutely no way to muffle the sound of crinkling paper as I lifted each bag. There was absolutely no way to muffle the sound of clinking as each can and / or bottle was placed on the granite counter.

“Oh, you’re home. Good.” He said as he repositioned himself on the couch. Yes, he worries when I’m out.

It was time to put the groceries away and my first option was to open the lower freezer. Our refrigerator is just shy of five years old, but the freezer drawer always made noise. It’s the suction element that sounds like the door to the Inner Sanctum (that old black & white thriller series from back in the 1950s). Opening the drawer is bad enough, and closing it isn’t any better. “CLUNK”.

Whew! All the perishables are safely put where they belong (freezer or refrigerator), now for the pantry.

Yes, it’s all done and, this time, I didn’t disturb him! Score one for me!

BOOM! BOOM! Extremely loud noises crashed outside that were loud enough to rattle the windows, and the sky lit up with lightning.

Oh Great! I thought. A storm! What’s next?

A much louder BOOM, with a CRASHING noise, as the lighting crackled when it struck my neighbor’s tree!

My husband sat up straighter. “Well, I guess that’s about all the nap time I’ll get today.”

His total nap time? Not quite 45-minutes.

At least this time, it wasn’t me who’d disturbed his sleep. I do, however, know that immediately after dinner, he’ll sit back on the couch and doze off. Maybe by then, the storm will have passed, and he can catch up with that quick nap.

Oh, and just for the record, he can fall asleep on the couch after dinner, wake up around 3am, walk to the bed, lie down and within seconds, be back into a very deep sleep! Wish I could do that.