The Cheat

Unobtrusive Periscope Over-The-Shoulder Peek

I once glanced over at life-time friend, Guy's test paper in Drafting class–I didn't even complete the 'Cheat' since I could never figure out the 'Slide Rule' (a Boomers Tally-Upper) or even how to navigate a Protractor for that matter. I dropped the class - Guy became a renowned Architect - maybe I should have stuck with it..!

Have you ever 'Cheated'~Failed a Test~In Your Face - Embarrassed to Tell Anyone - Here's the Thing:

Good Friend, Darcy, PhD – Told me she cheated off Leslie on a test. She was given a 'Fail' for this lack of discretion - Message Received - Darcy told that story on opening day with students for (30) years. She wasn't a good cheater. That Dismayed-Dissuaded any cheating with her classes; their 1st lesson. She actually encouraged the sitting on of 'Cheat-Sheets' - You'll never need to look at them there.

- Gen Z'z ~ You do know your generation didn't invent Sarcasm, Right? -

As the well-known incorrigible Girls-Pig-Tail-Puller hanging from the seat in front of me. I had my name permanently-embossed on the Boys Vice Principals office chairs; that I so often occupied. Call the Vice Principal I'm certain my now vacant chair is still there – Those that can’t Teach become Vp’s.

— The Truth and Nothing But the Truth —

Mart - Always striving to become an athlete; many became 'Stars' from his alma mater. But, he was just so-so–not the gridiron fearless-grit; but picked up a lot of 'Bench-Splinters' during this Reach.' So, he settled on becoming a Lawyer and even argued a case in front of the Supreme Court (he lost). But, is that any way near the type of accolades a football player receives for a great 'Hail-Mary' play: I think not!

Mart, currently a retired ‘Pro Bono’ night court Judge, collects bench splinters on that bench as well. He probably cheated on the Judge test to get that j.o.b. But since he wasn’t being paid $ no one said anything. His wife refers to him as JudgeKnickerLess as there might be something missing under 'His Honors' black robe. Recently there were (26) "I Didn't Do It Idiots" in attendance fighting tickets and not (1) policeman showed up – Case Dismissed!

Twin, Lucky-Lar, told me while a UCLA student he took the test to become a 'Mail-Man.' I never knew this; probably embarrassed that he 'Failed' the Government employment test. After many years as a successful CPA he thought he bit-the-bullet at the time - Really. Although Lucky as a 'Mailman' would have been quite workable. He certainly had the knobby knees to wear the 'Uniform of the Day' Gray Shorts/with a Dangling Key Chain. Ah, the Dog-Hated fearless MailMan with Treats in one hand and Pepper Spray in the other..! He knows the risks from neighborhood bites to bites. Some yards are never entered and mail would have to be picked up at the post office.

Jay - I took a test @ an army recruiting facility. At the time we were trying to desperately 'Select' our categories to serve that would be more suitable, and obviously a little safer: Mom phoned every conceivable Military Recruiting Branch to see what might 'Fit' and what, if anything, was available; a real scramble at the time. Yes, Mom's do that. Well, I failed that Army-Intelligence-Test ..Go Figure? Subsequently, we found out that unit was one of the 1st to be deployed to 'In-Country' combat in Vietnam. I may have dodged a bullet. Whew!

And, of course, there's the every day Little 'Cheats' such as: *Dieters-Fridge-Posted-Anthem: "Well, I have to eat something!" This reminder~notice was stretched across its padlocked door. Although most of us 'Shrug' off our daily reminder distractions and annoyances and just carry on.

The Wife worked munchie-magic throughout the Fridge, although systematically-confounding, that brought on my 'Patience' Quota. For instance: Her often all-day 'HobbyHappyPlace' kitchen preps included: Home-made (Chrome Gadget-Hand Cranked) flat noodle maker; a blistering hand exerciser. Noodles proudly hung-over every chair and door knob to dry. We could have set up a profitable vendor sidewalk sundried 'Al dente' noodle/wit meatballs stand there were so many.

The highlight of the Special Cheat-Test day came when she brought out her sugar-rush, can't possibly take (1) bite, marvelous Green-Key-Lime Pie Slathered with Meringue.

— Belt Tightening will begin again Another Day —

~ What's your 'Cheaters' Secret? We All Have Them ~

Jay Kantor, Chatsworth, California

'Senior' Vocal Author - Vocal Village Community -