Family
POKER. Top Story - September 2023.
Shuffle - AnTe~Up - Catch a Card – Poker-Tale-TELLS We all have kitchen table poker card game stories. The Monday Night Poker Group was no different. We were all about constant 'Table-Talk-Goofs' and not so much about money; mostly about friendly camaraderie. Although, Twin-Lucky-Lar, recently shared with me (as if I didn’t know this) “I wasn’t always Mr. Money Bags, I would use my Monday night winnings to pay for lunch the next day.” Ironically, some of the guys were rich, and those players seemed to be more conservative in their betting than we poor guys – go figure?
By Jay Kantor9 months ago in Humor
Pink Slip
Toss-up your 'Blinker' - Just move-on –Changing Lanes– Have you ever been Fired? We never forget that day. 1st reaction of ALL would probably be the overwhelming feeling of rejection - What did I do wrong? Knocks your wind out! Usually our 1st Firing from our 1st job is the most memorable: But, after the initial Firing-Phenomenon, all the following 'Usher-Outs' become old hat - certainly not so dramatic - been there done that 'tude-taken: An emotional shock to your personal 'Failure Factor' Department - Inadequacy? Nah! We, of course, will miss our co-workers and 'workable' comfort zones, but as with all facets of life, it's time to move on.
By Jay Kantor9 months ago in Humor
POPSICLE. Top Story - August 2023.
Author © Jay Kantor Power of our Pens - Following the 'Free' Publicity this Market Chain received from this silly story management gifted me a huge sugar free cake along with a Company-Cap and offered me a position in their advertising department - Nah - but I took the 'Brain Freeze' what could it hurt.
By Jay Kantor9 months ago in Humor
Dear Mom. Top Story - July 2023.
Author © Jay Kantor "Just put some Ketchup on it and Eat-It" — Dinners Disguise — Mom, such a character! She was a Huge-Hugger! She just wouldn’t let those she loved pass by without a little kiss or hug; so we just put-up-with-it! The spitting image of actress Betty White, always with the sparkling dimpled-smile. She served (2) terms as P.T.A. President. I don’t really know why, she never had much of a podium 'Schpiel' - So-to-Speak - But, being very pretty and sociable probably made up for that?
By Jay Kantor9 months ago in Humor
Dear Dad. Top Story - June 2023.
Author © Jay Kantor — Super Size Me - Life with Father — Nightly, as he sat in his reserved chair, that no one dared to sit upon, he would bark orders to anyone passing by to change the channels (no 'Clickers' in those days) on our un-movable - toe stubbing - state-of-the-art 24" Black/white R.C.A. TV console. Only talking to him permitted between commercials of his favorite shows such as Laurence Welk and Perry Mason; no fast forward then either.
By Jay Kantor9 months ago in Humor
200+ Spirit Captions For Instagram Heart And Hope
Whether you're cheering at a pep rally, posting a gym selfie, vibing with your wild side, or just showing up as your real, unshakable self—your spirit is what sets the whole tone. It's not about perfection. It's about energy, attitude, and that little fire in your chest that says, “I got this.”
By JokeJester9 months ago in Humor
How to Survive a Family Gathering Without Losing Your Mind
Ah, family gatherings. That magical time when relatives you haven’t seen since the last solar eclipse gather under one roof to eat, shout, laugh, and ask you questions that make you question your life choices. If you’ve ever walked into a family get-together feeling confident—and left with mild trauma and a missing Tupperware—you’re not alone. This guide will walk you through everything you need to barely survive your next family reunion with your sanity (and snack plate) intact. --- 1. Prepare for the Interrogation Room The moment you walk in, some well-meaning (read: nosy) relative will launch a full investigation into your personal life. Get ready for: “So, what are you doing with your life?” “Still single? Why?” “When are you getting married?” “When are you giving us grandchildren?” “Have you gained weight or is that just happiness?” Pro Tip: Wear sunglasses indoors and pretend you’ve become spiritually enlightened and can’t answer earthly questions. --- 2. Secure Your Snacks Early You have approximately 7 minutes from the start of the event before your favorite food items disappear into your cousin's bottomless stomach. Uncles will camp near the sweets like it's a Black Friday sale, and aunties will keep the good stuff "for later." Pro Tip: Casually walk into the kitchen and “offer to help serve,” then sneak your plate behind the microwave. Retrieval is a solo mission—use stealth. --- 3. The Cousin Comparison Game No matter what you’ve achieved, there will always be a cousin who “just became a doctor-engineer-astronaut-businessman,” and somehow also owns a startup and a wife who makes 5-layer cakes. Pro Tip: Nod politely, then fake a phone call from Elon Musk. Loudly say, “Sorry, I can’t join the Mars mission this year, my mom made biryani.” --- 4. The Baby Photo Blackmail Somewhere in the middle of the gathering, your mother or an aunt will pull out your most embarrassing baby photo. Usually naked. Usually during dinner. Pro Tip: Distract them with a fake medical emergency. “Uncle Shafiq is choking on a samosa!” Then delete the photo when everyone rushes over. --- 5. Surviving the Kids’ Attack Children at family events are either sugar-fueled tornadoes or quiet saboteurs. They will ruin your clothes, steal your phone, and ask questions like “Why do you look like that?” Pro Tip: Wear dark clothes, fake sleep, or bring a decoy phone filled with cursed videos like “How Cement is Made – Part 12.” --- 6. Auntie Gossip Hour (a.k.a. Live News) If CNN ever loses its ratings, it should hire your aunties. They know who’s getting divorced, who failed their exam, who dyed their hair red, and who was seen at a restaurant with someone not named "spouse." Pro Tip: Nod like you care, but slowly back away and pretend you just remembered the biryani is burning. --- 7. Crying, dancing, and music moments At some point, someone will turn on music, and your 50-year-old uncle will start dancing like it's 1997. Someone will shout “You used to dance so well as a child, show us!” Pro Tip: Fake an injury. Limp dramatically and claim “old football wound.” If asked to sing, say you’ve taken a vow of silence. --- 8. Escape Plan The event is wrapping up, but you’re not free yet. You must: Avoid helping with dishes without being labeled “lazy.” Escape with your Tupperware. Thank every adult personally or face lifelong grudge. Pro Tip: Create an emergency exit group chat with your siblings or allies. Use code phrases like “Operation Papadum” to coordinate exit. --- 9. Debrief & Recovery You’ve made it home. You smell like 7 types of curry and emotional damage. Sit back, scroll your phone, and prepare your social media post: > “Great time with the fam today! So much love and laughter!” (It’s all lies, but they’ll believe it.) --- Final Thoughts Family gatherings are chaotic, loud, and occasionally traumatic. But they're also full of memories, weird inside jokes, and people who’d fight a lion for you (or at least throw a slipper). So next time you're summoned, go prepared, stay sharp, and always, always guard your snacks with your life.
By Abraham Lopez9 months ago in Humor
The Medieval Madness Dash
Today, I took a detour on the way back from campus because of a call from my frantic sister-in-law. She had been invited to a medieval-themed party and needed to do some last-minute dress shopping. She’d been putting it off for quite a while, but the party was today at 4:00 PM.
By Staringale9 months ago in Humor
