How to Survive a Family Gathering Without Losing Your Mind
A beginner’s guide to dodging awkward questions, surviving gossip warfare, and protecting your plate like it’s national treasure
Ah, family gatherings. That magical time when relatives you haven’t seen since the last solar eclipse gather under one roof to eat, shout, laugh, and ask you questions that make you question your life choices. If you’ve ever walked into a family get-together feeling confident—and left with mild trauma and a missing Tupperware—you’re not alone.
This guide will walk you through everything you need to barely survive your next family reunion with your sanity (and snack plate) intact.
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1. Prepare for the Interrogation Room
The moment you walk in, some well-meaning (read: nosy) relative will launch a full investigation into your personal life. Get ready for:
“So, what are you doing with your life?”
“Still single? Why?”
“When are you getting married?”
“When are you giving us grandchildren?”
“Have you gained weight or is that just happiness?”
Pro Tip: Wear sunglasses indoors and pretend you’ve become spiritually enlightened and can’t answer earthly questions.
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2. Secure Your Snacks Early
You have approximately 7 minutes from the start of the event before your favorite food items disappear into your cousin's bottomless stomach. Uncles will camp near the sweets like it's a Black Friday sale, and aunties will keep the good stuff "for later." Pro Tip: Casually walk into the kitchen and “offer to help serve,” then sneak your plate behind the microwave. Retrieval is a solo mission—use stealth.
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3. The Cousin Comparison Game
No matter what you’ve achieved, there will always be a cousin who “just became a doctor-engineer-astronaut-businessman,” and somehow also owns a startup and a wife who makes 5-layer cakes.
Pro Tip: Nod politely, then fake a phone call from Elon Musk. Loudly say, “Sorry, I can’t join the Mars mission this year, my mom made biryani.”
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4. The Baby Photo Blackmail
Somewhere in the middle of the gathering, your mother or an aunt will pull out your most embarrassing baby photo. Usually naked. Usually during dinner.
Pro Tip: Distract them with a fake medical emergency. “Uncle Shafiq is choking on a samosa!” Then delete the photo when everyone rushes over.
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5. Surviving the Kids’ Attack
Children at family events are either sugar-fueled tornadoes or quiet saboteurs. They will ruin your clothes, steal your phone, and ask questions like “Why do you look like that?”
Pro Tip: Wear dark clothes, fake sleep, or bring a decoy phone filled with cursed videos like “How Cement is Made – Part 12.”
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6. Auntie Gossip Hour (a.k.a. Live News)
If CNN ever loses its ratings, it should hire your aunties. They know who’s getting divorced, who failed their exam, who dyed their hair red, and who was seen at a restaurant with someone not named "spouse."
Pro Tip: Nod like you care, but slowly back away and pretend you just remembered the biryani is burning.
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7. Crying, dancing, and music moments At some point, someone will turn on music, and your 50-year-old uncle will start dancing like it's 1997. Someone will shout “You used to dance so well as a child, show us!”
Pro Tip: Fake an injury. Limp dramatically and claim “old football wound.” If asked to sing, say you’ve taken a vow of silence.
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8. Escape Plan
The event is wrapping up, but you’re not free yet. You must:
Avoid helping with dishes without being labeled “lazy.”
Escape with your Tupperware.
Thank every adult personally or face lifelong grudge.
Pro Tip: Create an emergency exit group chat with your siblings or allies. Use code phrases like “Operation Papadum” to coordinate exit.
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9. Debrief & Recovery
You’ve made it home. You smell like 7 types of curry and emotional damage. Sit back, scroll your phone, and prepare your social media post:
> “Great time with the fam today! So much love and laughter!”
(It’s all lies, but they’ll believe it.)
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Final Thoughts
Family gatherings are chaotic, loud, and occasionally traumatic. But they're also full of memories, weird inside jokes, and people who’d fight a lion for you (or at least throw a slipper).
So next time you're summoned, go prepared, stay sharp, and always, always guard your snacks with your life.
About the Creator
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The Forgotten Millions: Homelessness in a Modern World
The Life of a Homeless Person and the Global Homelessness Crisis Homelessness is one of the most visible signs of inequality and social failure in the modern world. It affects millions of people globally, cutting across age, race, gender, and nationality. A homeless person, often portrayed as someone sleeping on park benches or under bridges, is usually someone who has fallen through the cracks of society. But homelessness is not just a lack of shelter—it is a complex condition influenced by economic, social, psychological, and political factors. Understanding Homelessness A homeless person is someone who does not have a stable, safe, or adequate place to live. This includes people sleeping rough on the streets, staying in shelters, living in cars, or temporarily housed with friends or family (often called "couch surfing"). The reasons someone becomes homeless vary, but common causes include: Poverty and Unemployment: Loss of income or job can lead to inability to pay rent or mortgages. Mental Illness and Addiction: Numerous homeless people have substance abuse disorders or mental health issues that have not been treated. Family Breakdown or Domestic Violence: Victims, especially women and children, may leave abusive homes without a place to go. Lack of Affordable Housing: In many cities, housing prices have skyrocketed while wages remain stagnant. Natural Disasters and Conflicts: Refugees and internally displaced persons (IDPs) due to war, floods, or earthquakes often face homelessness. A Day in the Life of a Homeless Person Life on the streets is not only hard—it’s dangerous, unpredictable, and dehumanizing. Finding a safe place to sleep may be the first task of a typical day, which is frequently interrupted by the police or other individuals. A significant obstacle is hygiene. Access to showers, clean clothes, and restrooms is limited. Many rely on public facilities, charity organizations, or shelters. Finding food is another daily concern. Homeless people often eat from soup kitchens, food banks, or even trash bins. Some beg for money, while others do odd jobs, collect recyclables, or sell handmade items. Social isolation is intense. Many people avoid or ignore homeless individuals, making them feel invisible. Mental stress, humiliation, and hopelessness are constant companions. Despite this, many still hold onto dreams of a better life and show resilience in the face of hardship. Global Homelessness: A Major Problem Homelessness exists in every country, although it may appear in different forms. Let’s take a look at some examples from around the world: United States According to the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD), over 650,000 people were experiencing homelessness on a single night in 2023. Major cities like Los Angeles, San Francisco, and New York have witnessed an alarming rise in encampments and rough sleepers. The housing crisis, high rent, opioid epidemic, and mental health issues have contributed to this surge. Europe In the UK, homelessness has increased by more than 50% since 2010. Many homeless people in London and other cities are migrants or young adults leaving the foster care system. France, Germany, and Spain are also struggling with homelessness, especially among refugees and asylum seekers. In Scandinavian countries like Finland, however, the “Housing First” model—where people are given homes before addressing other problems—has successfully reduced homelessness. Asia In countries like India, Bangladesh, and the Philippines, homelessness is a major issue due to poverty, rapid urbanization, and weak infrastructure. Slums and makeshift homes are common in big cities. Many people live without any legal title to their homes, making them vulnerable to eviction. Japan, although economically strong, has a hidden homeless population. Many stay in 24-hour cafes or public parks, and the issue is often masked by social stigma and shame. Africa African countries face homelessness as a result of poverty, war, and displacement. In Nigeria, South Africa, and Kenya, urban centers have large numbers of street children and adults living in slums. Government support is often minimal, and NGOs fill in the gap. Latin America In Brazil and Mexico, homelessness is linked to violence, drugs, and economic inequality. Particularly vulnerable to exploitation and abuse are street children. Although governments have launched housing projects, corruption and bureaucracy often stall progress. The Impact of COVID-19 The COVID-19 pandemic had a significant impact on homeless populations. Many shelters closed or reduced capacity due to social distancing rules. Homeless people had limited access to healthcare, hygiene, or vaccination. At the same time, the economic fallout pushed many into homelessness for the first time. Interestingly, some governments offered temporary housing during the pandemic, proving that with political will, solutions are possible. However, many of these programs were short-term. Solutions and What Can Be Done Homelessness is solvable, but it requires coordinated efforts from governments, non-profits, and communities. Key strategies include: 1. Affordable Housing: Governments must invest in low-income housing and control rent prices in expensive cities. 2. Mental Health and Addiction Services: Outreach programs to treat mental illness and addiction can help prevent long-term homelessness. 3. Employment Programs: Job training and employment opportunities can help people regain independence. 4. Housing First Model: Providing housing first, without conditions, and then offering support services has proven effective in many places. 5. Public Awareness and Compassion: Reducing stigma and promoting empathy through education can foster community support and policy changes. Voices from the Streets Every homeless person has a story. John, a former IT worker in California, became homeless after losing his job and failing to afford his rent. "It just spiraled. One month I had a car and a laptop, next I was sleeping in a tent,” he says. Now he volunteers at a shelter, helping others get back on their feet. In Dhaka, Bangladesh, 19-year-old Rafiq lives on the footpath near a railway station. Orphaned at a young age, he sells water bottles to survive. “I want to open a tea stall one day,” he says, smiling. These stories show that homeless people are not lazy or broken—they are often victims of circumstances beyond their control. Given a chance, many work hard to change their lives. Conclusion Homelessness is a complex and painful issue that reflects deeper cracks in our societies. It is a human crisis—not just a housing problem. While the causes may differ by region, the suffering is universal. But with the right policies, compassion, and support, homelessness is not inevitable. It is a problem we can solve. We just need the courage to act, the will to invest, and the humanity to care.
By Abraham Lopez8 months ago in Humans
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