Spider-Dan: The Web-Slinging Intern

It was a normal morning in New York City. Pigeons were being obnoxious, taxis were honking like angry geese, and Peter Parker—no, wait… Dan. Dan Jenkins—was late. Again.

Dan wasn’t your usual superhero. He was... well, an intern. Yes, Spider-Man had an intern now. Not by choice, of course, but due to a mix-up at Stark Industries, a confusing HR policy, and a surprisingly aggressive college credit requirement. Dan Jenkins, age 19, from Queens College, was now officially Spider-Man’s unpaid intern. He wore a knock-off suit from eBay and had the web-shooters that Peter let him borrow. They mostly worked. Mostly.

---

Monday: Web-Slinging Woes

“Dan! You can’t swing into traffic like that!” Peter shouted, catching Dan mid-flail before he crash-landed into a food truck.

“I was trying to turn left!” Dan squeaked, still dangling upside down. “But the web shot out of the wrong cartridge! I think I glued a pigeon to a lamppost back there.”

Peter sighed. He had work to do, villains to fight, and now a teenager clinging to him like a terrified backpack.

---

Tuesday: The Latte Incident

Peter tried to keep things simple. “Dan, all I need you to do is get me a caramel macchiato, two pumps, no foam, extra hot. Got it?”

“Got it!” Dan saluted, webbed away, and came back an hour later with a lukewarm milkshake and a receipt from Taco Bell.

“Dan… this is neither caramel, macchiato, nor remotely coffee.”

“I panicked! A squirrel stole my wallet and I blacked out. The barista gave me this out of pity.”

Somehow, Peter ended up drinking it anyway. It wasn’t the worst thing he’d had that week. That honor belonged to whatever he ate during that rooftop stakeout when Dan brought “homemade sushi” in a plastic bag.

---

Wednesday: Training Day

Peter decided it was time to train Dan properly.

“Okay, lesson one: agility. Lesson two: balance. Lesson three—”

“Why are there so many lessons?”

“Because last time you tried to fight a mugger, you punched yourself in the face and apologized to a trash can.”

Dan nodded solemnly. “I still think that trash can was judging me.”

Training went fine until Dan webbed himself to the side of a moving bus and got dragged across five boroughs. To be fair, his GPS was broken, and he thought the bus was heading toward danger. It was actually a retirement home’s field trip to Coney Island.

Mrs. Gladys from seat 3B gave him a Werther’s Original and told him he “looked very fit.”



Thursday: Almost Heroic

Dan finally saw action. Real action. A bank robbery in progress. No Peter around. Just him, his questionable reflexes, and one working web-shooter.

“This is my moment,” he whispered dramatically, striking a pose. He then immediately slipped on a dropped hot dog and slammed into the bank’s revolving door.

Inside, the robbers turned toward the noise.

Dan stood, dazed but determined. “Stop, evil-doers! I am… Spider-Dan!”

“Who?”

“You know, Spider-Man’s intern. Kinda like Robin. But unpaid. And with worse knees.”

The robbers laughed. They shouldn’t have. Because Peter showed up 0.3 seconds later and webbed them to the ceiling like forgotten party balloons.

Dan gave a thumbs-up from under a pile of knocked-over chairs.



Friday: Hero Status?

Peter finally acknowledged Dan had made progress. “You didn’t break anything today. Or glue any wildlife to public infrastructure.”

“I consider that growth,” Dan beamed.

“Also, you helped that lost kid find his mom at the zoo. That was nice.”

Dan blushed. “It was a pretty intense mission. The penguin enclosure is no joke.”

Peter nodded. “One day, maybe you’ll be ready to go solo.”

Dan’s eyes lit up. “Like a Spider-Dan: Origins movie?!”

“Let’s… maybe start with a TikTok.”



Saturday: A Day Off (Kind Of)

Dan decided to patrol on his own. No Peter. No oversight. Just him and the city.

Things were going great until he tried to web-swing off a blimp. Turns out, blimps aren’t stable anchor points.

He ended up landing in a bouncy castle at a birthday party in Central Park. Kids screamed. Someone handed him cake. A mom asked if he was available for hire.

By the end of the day, Dan had webbed three balloons back to crying toddlers, helped a dad find his keys in a sandbox, and awkwardly danced the Macarena in costume.

The world may not have needed Spider-Dan… but he was exactly what that birthday party needed.



Sunday: Reflection

Dan sat on a rooftop, eating cold pizza with Peter.

“You know,” Peter said, “you’re not half-bad.”

“Thanks,” Dan replied, trying not to cry through the mask. “I really want to make a difference.”

“You glued two pigeons together this week.”

“They were flying in formation! Very patriotic.”

Peter laughed. “Alright, Spider-Dan. Let’s give next week a shot.”

Dan stood proudly. “Do I get a real suit now?”

“Nope.”

“Health insurance?”

“Definitely not.”

“…Do I at least get paid?”

Peter handed him another slice of pizza.

Dan took a bite. “Fair enough.”

---

THE END (until next internship evaluation) 🕷️🍕

Want a sequel? I got you.