She’ll Be Right Mate!

You're in the great town of Bumbunga in South Australia, and you befriend one of the locals. You buy him a beer to be friendly. He then shares a story about his mate Bazza. How much do you think you would understand?

'My mate Bazza looked like a dog’s breakfast in his budgie smugglers and thongs strutting down the beach yesterday arvo. What do you expect from someone who lives in ‘Woop woop?'

Bazza had always been a few roos loose in the top paddock, and let’s face it, he had a face like a dropped pie. Still, he didn’t deserve the dummy spit he got from the two sheilas he tried to say gidday to.

Bazza shrugged and said, "Fair shake of the sauce bottle, but you two "ave a good one." May your chooks turn into emus and kick your dunny door down." Then, he walked down the path.

“Stone the crows,” Bazz muttered to himself. “Forget those greyhounds and their millennium domes. I just wanted to buy them a glass of tart fuel, not give them an Aussie kiss!”

Australian English is packed with colourful sayings that create funny pictures and mental images. We Aussies are down-to-earth people who have colourful expressions. We tend to be quite negative, and this mix can really confuse visitors and tourists.

For example, ask a true-blue Aussie how far it is to the pub and he’ll tell you "not far". Ask him how he is and he will reply “not bad”. How much did you pay for that? – “not much”. Get my drift?

Let’s return to our earlier question. We know Bazza is Barry in proper English, and arvo means afternoon. But how many other Aussie slang terms did you learn?

Here is the conversation again with them highlighted in bold and italics.

My mate Bazza looked like a dog's breakfast in his budgie smugglers and thongs, as he strutted down the billabong yesterday arvo. What do you expect from someone living in Woop woop?

Bazza had always been a ‘few roos loose in the top paddock,’ and let’s face it, he had ‘a face like a dropped pie." Still he didn’t deserve the ‘dummy spit’ he got from the ‘two sheilas’ he tried to say ‘gidday’ to.

Bazza shrugged and said, “Fair shake of the sauce bottle. You two 'ave a good one!' May your chooks turn to emus and kick your dunny door down!” Then, he walked off down the path.

“Stone the crows,” Bazz muttered to himself. “Screw those ‘greyhounds with their 'millennium domes.’ I just wanted to buy them a glass of ‘tart fuel,’ not give them an ‘Aussie kiss!'”

We all know where ‘Woop woop’ is, don’t we?

"Woop woop" is much further away than the bush. The bush is the rural zone outside the cities, often referred to as “living in the bush.” It’s not the city, but it’s on the way to the outback. You drive from the city to the bush before heading into the outback. That would not be as far as ‘Woop woop’ because let’s face it, who wants to live in 'Woop woop’, except for Bazza.

Here is a translation of the other fifteen terms that you may not know.

A dog’s breakfast - This refers to someone who is very unattractive. Picture a dog that just ate its meal and then threw it up.

Budgie smugglers – brief swimming togs for men. Speedos, like the female thong bikini, leave little to the imagination.

Thongs- are cheap rubber sandals without backs. They’re also called 'flip-flops' in many places. They’re the go-to shoes for Aussie bogans.

Billabong - a permanent waterhole that is usually associated with a bend in a river

Arvo - Australians love to cut words short. ‘Arvo’ is this afternoon, but we are too lazy to say all of that, so it got cut back to arvo.

A few roos loose in the top paddock - An indication of craziness, eccentricity, or foolishness. “Roo” is short for “kangaroo.”

A face like a dropped pie - A disappointed or sullen expression. Australians love meat pies, most often topped with tomato sauce (ketchup). A dropped pie does not look very nice, so it is an expression that is used to say that someone looks unattractive.

Dummy spit - To lose one’s cool and get agitated

Sheila - A woman

Gidday - Like arvo, it is slang for good day.

Fair shake of the sauce bottle - taking your fair share or giving someone a fair go.

Ave a good one - this means to have a good day.

May your chooks turn to emus and kick your dunny door down – an expression for wishing someone bad luck. A “dunny” is an outdoor toilet separate from the house that is very common in country houses.

Stone the crow - refers to the practice when farmers threw stones at crows attempting to eat the crops. I Aussie slang, it means "you wouldn't believe it" or surprise at an unexpected situation.

Greyhounds with their millennium domes - Young girls that dress in very short skirts, showing off their long legs and wearing a Wonderbra (extremely impressive from the outside but not of much substance inside).

Tart fuel - Bottled premixed spirit drinks that young women regularly consume.

Aussie kiss – Very much like a French kiss but given down under (???)

Yes, we Aussies are a colorful bunch. We have a talent for twisting the Queen's English into our own unique language.

Bumbunga is an actual town. Like many others in Australia, it has a funny or cheeky name. For example, Boing Boing, Pisspot Creek, Egg and Bacon Bay or Mossy Nipple Bend, "right down under in Tasmania."

[Author's note: No offence is meant to any female, true blue Aussie or any other character referred to in this story. All intend to be a humorous look at the Aussie language. )

Till next time,

Calvin